May in Review

The days are long, but the years are short. I have a six week old baby. The days drag, but somehow time has flown by, and I'm already halfway to having to go back to work. My whole month has been consumed by breastfeeding efforts. I've done everything you can possibly think of. It's reached a point where I'm having to back off of some of my efforts for my mental and emotional health. When you throw all of yourself, your heart and soul and energy, at something and still come up short, it does a number on you. 

Being that most days consist of feeding the baby and an appointment or two here and there, I'll probably keep this month's post a little simpler and shorter with just some highlights. 

May 1 I did laundry and did our April blog post. 

May 2 I had a Birth Center appointment and got myself a smoothie. My dad, brother, and his girlfriend got into town. Dad came over and ordered El Pollo Loco for dinner for us. 

May 3 my dad, brother, and Kellie came over to see the baby. It was Jason and Kellie's first time. My dad was really sweet and emotional that morning. It was so good to have him here and let him bond with his grandson. Even though it was special to have them all over, this day was very hard for me. It all felt like too much--giving baby medicine, taking antibiotics and supplements and placenta pills, eating/drinking enough water, connecting with Matthew, going on walks. It just was too much that day. 

May 4 my dad came over again, as did Jason and Kellie. They went to Logan to see Jared. My awesome friend/neighbor brought us dinner. I went on a walk with the baby this day. 

May 5 my dad came over to say goodbye. I watched a lot of shows and ordered myself pizza. 

On May 6 I got blood taken to check my thyroid, with my milk supply trouble, I hoped it would help. (It hasn't.) I gave baby boy a bath on this day--it's become a Friday occurrence. And I watched Flight Attendant. 

On Mother's Day, Matthew slept late so he made me breakfast for dinner. It was really good. He also got me roses, wrote me a letter, and did a social media post which was really sweet. I spilled my hard earned milk all over the counter and cried. I went to Starbucks. These small simple outings occasionally are super helpful just to feel a little bit like a human. 

May 9 I watched a lot of movies and shows. Matthew got us In N Out for dinner, and I went on a walk. I don't get to go on walks every day, so it's worth mentioning when I do. 

On May 10 I went on a walk, and my friend from work brought us Little Caesar, which was really nice. 

May 11 my friend Natalie came over to see the baby and hang out. It was nice to talk to someone. Matthew made us dinner and got us Crumbl. It was this day that I learned that skipping my night feeds may have killed my supply. So I committed to getting up to pump. Since this day, I have only "skipped" one night, and that was only because baby boy wanted to eat at 1:30am, so doing a 2-4am pump was out of the question. 

May 12 was a good day. I went on two walks and made banana bread. We got a scale to weigh the baby on at home. 

On May 13 my friend and former coworker Nicole came by to say hello and bring us gifts. It was really sweet and good to talk to her. I took a nap and went on a walk on this day--an extra good day. And Matthew got us Wingstop. 

May 14 I got a milk blister, which was awful. I got donuts and Starbucks. I went on a walk as well. 

On May 15 my grandma came over to meet her first great grandson, so that was a sweet experience. 

May 16 I had a Birth Center appointment. I got a car wash and a boba while out with baby boy. I tried drinking a dark beer to help my supply. It helped, but didn't seem to fill up baby boy; he got hungry again in the middle of the night. 

May 17 was a really hard day. I spilled my milk three times. I had a lactation appointment and learned my baby had only gained an average of .33oz per day instead of the minimum 0.5 needed. It was disheartening. I also passed out in the kitchen while wearing the baby. Thankfully Matthew was there to catch me. Bless him, he was so worried. 

May 18 my baby turned 1 month old! My mom came over for a bit. We got our birth video, which is amazing. And I made lactation cookies with brewer's yeast and flax. 

May 19 I went to Starbucks and did laundry. 

May 20 I went on a walk and watched Our Flag Means Death with Matthew. It's a funny show. 

On May 21 we went to the Dough Show. Our first big outing with the baby. I wore him, but learned that we should just use a stroller next time. I also got a nap on this day! 

May 22 I didn't get outside but Face Timed my dad and watched Big Hero 6. I finished my audiobook and wrote my breastfeeding blog post. 

May 23 I got a lot done. Did some work for the gym, scheduled appointments, called insurance, etc. I realized that AJ probably wasn't getting enough to eat, and that I was mistaking hunger cries for gas cries. So I have been feeding him more and more. 

On May 24 I got Starbucks and had a therapy appointment. Mom stopped by. Matthew got us Taco Bell for dinner. 

May 25 I had another lactation appointment. She told me she has only seen a handful of women go to the effort/lengths that I have gone to to make breastfeeding work. That felt validating to me. My dad accidentally sent us El Pollo Loco because he didn't change the address. So that was funny and worked out really well. 

May 26 we had baby boy's frenectomy in West Valley. I've faithfully done his mouth stretches since then. I got us Crave cookies afterward. I got a notice that my short term disability was only approved through May 29. So that was upsetting. Also a stressful day financially. 

On May 27 I got a lot done. I canceled a subscription for the Harry Potter Christmas village. I requested an extension on short term disability as well. I watched Stranger Things and Obi Wan with Matthew. Matthew's cousin Heather came over to help me get the baby to latch without a shield, so that was really kind of her. 

May 28 my brother Jared and his wife Amoreena came over. Matthew got groceries. I went on a walk and watched Stranger Things. 

May 29 I got Dutch Bros and watched Stranger Things. Matthew's friends TJ, Marisa, and Jason came over. We ate Cafe Rio. 

May 30 I finished Stranger Things. Matthew made hot dogs and grilled zucchini for us for Memorial Day. We watched Outlander, and I went on a walk. 

On May 31 I went on a walk and had a midwife appointment. She asked me to figure out how I can get a 4-5 hour stretch of sleep and cut back on my breastfeeding efforts, as well as create peace of mind by acquiring more milk. So I reached out to my SIL and am cutting out the last nighttime feeding, and letting Matthew do that with a bottle. I got diapers at Costco after the appointment, and Matthew and I got gas with our fuel points. My mom watched baby for a couple hours while I was out and about. It was a hard an emotional day. 

Books I finished this month: 

Invisible Life of Addie LaRue by V.E. Schwab (audiobook)
The Stranger in the Lifeboat by Mitch Albom (audiobook) - actually finished the last 20 minutes on June 1, but counting it for May