2023 Reflection and 2024 Goals
As I mentioned in my GBOMB, I'm thinking a lot about 2023 and what I want to do in 2024. I have more mental space for goals this year than I did last year. I came across a post on Instagram with some reflection questions and wanted to start there because I think that's helpful and informative. I also want to use the three categories from my Full Focus Assessment to build a few simple goals.
The Reflection
What am I most grateful for from this year?
-My health and my family's health. No major illnesses or issues this year which is a huge blessing.
-I got to nurse my son until June, which is so much longer than I would've ever anticipated.
-Opportunities at work. Being able to provide for my family, and insure my son.
What were my biggest challenges this year?
-Working full-time and being in mom mode when not at work. I'm always on. I'm wiped out. Time for myself is hard to find as I have a hard time relaxing when there's tidying to be done.
-Maintaining friendships. It's hard when all my mental energy goes into work, my child, and my home.
-Childcare and Matthew's work schedule. It's unpredictable. It makes childcare very difficult, as our mothers help out just from the goodness of their hearts. So I have a hard time expecting anything of them, but we can't find a casual once a week "drop in daycare" option either.
-Our home. It feels small. We have no yard. Our neighbors are noisy, gross, or inconsiderate. Dog poo is all over the grass, so I don't like letting AJ run around.
What were my biggest wins this year?
-The opportunity at work to move into training/teaching. I especially love the professional development component.
-The amount of reading I did. It was via audiobook, but it's still a win.
-322/365 days with activity/exercise this year. It's a huge win for me.
-A 300 day streak of Duo Lingo--relearning Spanish is a win for sure.
-Being patient and present as a mother. I work hard to not react, and try really hard to regulate myself. I'm not perfect, but I do try.
Who and what helped me get through the year?
-My mom and Matthew's mom. I have to mention them because honestly, I don't know what we would have done financially if we had to put AJ in daycare. They both insist they don't want him in daycare, and I'm so grateful for their help. I love that he loves being with them.
-Friends and solidarity. Knowing I'm not alone in my struggles in motherhood.
-Exercise. It keeps me sane.
What were the top three lessons I learned this year?
-Not a new lesson, but solidified: The days are long, but the years are short.
-Intentional parenting is hard.
-I need to put down my phone.
What did I discover about myself this year?
-Re-learned: That I push myself to unhealthy limits sometimes.
-That I am capable of a lot--more than I really should do.
-That I am not great at letting balls drop, and will put myself last to keep the balls in the air or to keep those around me happy.
-Re-learned: That I need to rest.
-That I feel a strong pull to fight for women, babies, and families. Whether that's in birth, postpartum care, maternity and family leave, affordable childcare, whatever. I feel called to stand with women, and to push for policy that enables our health and success.
How would I describe the type of person I was this year?
-Stressed, but still patient.
-Rushed, but still mindful.
-Self-critical. I had bouts of self-loathing as I do every so often. I tell myself nasty stories about me.
What type of person do I want to become next year?
-Slow
-Intentional
-Grateful
-Unplugged
I find that I make silly mistakes both at work and at home as I try to rush through things and do things efficiently. I want to slow down in every single way.
The Goals
Again, these were guided by the Full Focus Assessment I took. I scored 70/100:
Body - 9
Mind - 11 (we know I love to learn)
Spirit - 6
Love - 8
Family - 9
Community - 11
Money - 8
Work - 8
Hobbies - 6
The assessment suggested I focus on spirit, hobbies, and love. I agree. It gave a template with sample goals. So these are what I've decided on.
Spirit
-Set aside 2 minutes at bedtime each night to breathe and do gratitude.
Hobbies
-Visit 1 new restaurant each month. Make a list by January 31.
-Take AJ on 1-2 hikes when the weather warms up. Choose locations and schedule the hikes by March 31.
-Read 5-10 minutes of a paperback book at bedtime.
Love
-Have a weekly check-in with Matthew
-Go on 1 date each quarter. (People really have the time and resources to do this once a week?)
I don't think having too many goals is helpful for anybody, especially as they often get overlooked. But where some of my goals are multi-purpose (reading is a hobby but will also help me unplug and unwind each night), I'm hopeful that these are all manageable for me.
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