October GBOMB

Good

Cornbelly's. It was a fun month with lots of trips to Cornbelly's. AJ is getting so big. It's nice to just kind of hang out while he runs around and plays. He did different things each time. My favorite was watching him engage some playful adults in the corn pit. It was really cute, and they were very sweet with him. 

Fall. Autumn drives. Cornbelly's. Pumpkin patch. Visits to Spirit Halloween. Making a gingerbread cabin. Pumpkin carving. Such a great season. 

Less drip in my throat. I don't know why, but I've been having to do my throat clearing cough a LOT less lately. I will take it! 

Family photos. I finally scheduled our family photos earlier in the fall season so we could get them done in an Aspen grove. Ali always does such an incredible job. And I ordered my holiday cards already! I'm feeling super ahead of the game. 

Feedback at work. Our Chief HR Officer sent me a note on our recognition platform. It was so kind and generous. Here's part of it: Janae, I want you to know how much you exemplify Ultradent’s values and the behaviors that make HR a valued partner to our business. You work with honesty and kindness, step up to whatever is asked of you, and consistently look for ways to add value and contribute to the success of others and the company.

Salt Lake Book Festival. What a cool event and a fun time! AJ loved it too, mostly just being outside and playing by the fountains. But he loved looking at and choosing books; I may have gotten carried away with book purchases. 

Anniversary. We went to dinner and had a nice night out at Matteo. It was nice to get dressed up. 

Bad

Busyness. It just felt like such a busy month between Amazon shifts, book clubs, family photos, anniversary, niece's play, Cornbelly's, fall activities, full-time work, and just general life. 

Amazon Flex. I often get sent home instead of doing deliveries, which is nice. But one shift I was sent 45 minutes away to Roy. I finished the deliveries within the shift window, but then was left with 45 minutes to drive back home. I was SO mad. A few days later, they acknowledged the route had "more miles than usual," and sent me $5. Thanks for the gallon of gas, Jeff Bezos. They did it to me again the next week and sent me to Magna and Tooele, so I had 49 minutes to drive home at the end of a shift. I don't want to drive for them anymore. So frustrating. 

Illness. Matthew spent a good chunk of time sick in October, and AJ had something mild, but seems to have continued congestion issues. I'm grateful I avoided it but sad my boys were sick. (I did end up feeling yucky on Halloween night and was going downhill on 11/1, just for the record.)

Last times. There's been a few "lasts" recently. I think a couple of Cornbelly's trips ago may have been my last time having AJ on my lap going down the big slide. I think we may soon be brushing his teeth for the last time. He is learning to wipe his bum, so that may be a last time pretty soon here. I wish I could keep track of all the "lasts." 

Money. Between AJ's dental work a couple months ago, Matthew's car repairs, and then the cat needing a bunch of teeth pulled this month, money feels stressful to me. I'm grateful we have the Plan It option on our Amex. But it's still not a payment I want to be making. In addition to existing medical debt and upcoming IVF treatment... Plus all the things that need work on our house, I'm just feeling discouraged financially. We are blessed to live as comfortably as we do. I just wish it weren't "always something." 

On My Brain

Low battery. I just feel like with work and regular life, any tasks that aren't pressing are so hard for me to do. I bought a smart thermostat that I need to install at our house (I did the one at our condo). And in addition to not knowing which breaker to turn off, I just want to lie down on the couch. I am feeling very wiped out and very unmotivated, which is pretty unlike me. 

Echo chambers. People just seem to like to hear why their line of reasoning is right or makes sense. I'm no exception, but I try to be aware and challenge my own perspectives. I have friends and family members on both ends of the political spectrum, so I feel like I'm exposed to both sides. Nobody seems open to changing their mind, so I try to be. 

Shaving. I follow Sharon A Life. She makes me laugh. She's posted a few times about not shaving anymore. One post she shared was about how women started shaving because of razor company marketing. I saw some comments on the post from other women saying when they stopped shaving their armpits, they stopped stinking. I've battled B.O. my whole life. So I've stopped shaving as an experiment. It's been harder than I imagined. I feel un-feminine and dirty. I've had to make a concerted effort NOT to shave. It's wild. Who knew it would be so hard to do less? 

Privilege police. I've read a couple of memoirs recently - Strangers and Awake. For both books, Goodreads had reviewers basically calling out what these very wealthy ladies do to deal with hardship is super unrelatable and privileged. Not that they're wrong--the resources they can afford are outrageous. But Belle Burden at least acknowledged this. And I think they're allowed to share their stories, and their pain is valid. I just think it's a weird use of energy to police others' stories.