American Idol - A Faulty Political Process

Well, what can I say except for, "Wow!"?

I have an amazing singer for a fiancee. I have a great singer of a friend named Aric. I know a talented and charismatic musician named Jake. And none of them even made it through the first round of American Idol!


The Boys--Aric, Jake, and Tanner

On Saturday night, Tanner and Aric decided it might be a good idea to pull an all-nighter so we could be the first to register for Idol on Sunday morning. For those of you who know me well, you know I don't do well running on no sleep. I am a very anxious person who needs rest, and my body reacts in strange and emotional ways when I am sleep deprived.


That's us, looking lovely and sleepless. Oh gross.


At least we saw the sun rise, sort of.

So we left at about 1:45 AM on Sunday morning and arrived in Salt Lake around 2:30. I was trying to sleep in the back seat and was failing miserably. Tanner and Aric got themselves some food at McDonald's because there were only a few people standing near the Energy Solutions Arena to get in line. So they got in line, and I tried to sleep in the car. That didn't work because it was bloody hot outside, really noisy from cars driving by, and the whole street was really well-lit. I guess they let the first group get in line around 3 AM, so the boys moved up to the top of the stairs, and Tanner had me come with blankets and stuff from the car.

From that point on I was pretty much a quiet grouch. I was listening to people and wishing that I could sleep on that stupid concrete floor. There were some interesting, cocky, and socially retarded people, as you might guess. One girl, in her super high voice, was singing that song that Eleanor sings to the penguin on the Chipmunk Adventure. Another was talking about her many previous experiences with the judges who "said she was really cute, but their quota was met." I hardly think they would have let anyone continue auditioning had they met their quota, but whatever she needs to console her, I guess.

Anyway around 6:45/7 in the morning the cameras were out, and people started going crazy. I'm not much of a sheep, myself. I also had no makeup on and was sleep deprived, so I didn't want to be on camera. Nevertheless, I hid behind freak shows Tanner and Aric while they fired finger gun shots at the camera. The constant screaming and non-rhythmic crowd chants were a little annoying. "American Idol, welcome to Archie-town"? What genius thinks these things will be acceptable for public television? I mean, really.

At about 7:30 AM they let our group in first to get registered. There was some confusion about the need for identification, which Tanner didn't have because his wallet got stolen, and Aric left in the car. I had identification, and ironically was the one in our group NOT singing. They gave us the wristbands and tickets anyway. A red wristband, might I add, which apparently meant that I was auditioning. Silly people. I should have gotten a pink one to be a "supporter." Oh well, I am OK with looking like a coward I guess.

We got home a little after 8--I got home at 8:30 AM, actually. I went straight to sleep and woke up at 2 PM and had a regular Sunday and Monday. I asked to leave work early on Monday if possible, so I could get some sleep before having to wake up at 3 AM for auditions on Tuesday. I got to go home at 9:30, which was really awesome. I was in bed by ten but had an awful time falling asleep! I felt like I didn't sleep at all, but it was OK, I wasn't in such a bad mood.

Up on Tuesday at 3:10 AM, ready at 3:40 AM and out the door. Apparently Tanner's phone alarm didn't wake him--Aric did. So we ended up leaving about 20 minutes after we had planned, but it was OK because Tanner did 90 mph on the freeway and got us to Salt Lake in 30 minutes. Yeah, not kidding. We were in line by 4:45 AM.


Still dark outside, lovey looking handsome.


Aric at his best at 5 AM. Good hair day, too.


Jake and Tanner, in all seriousness.


We even love each other early in the morning.

I brought donuts, water, and other snacks. The experience was really funny. We saw pretty much every important person, producer, and camera, get drawn to the same two black people in line ahead of us. Must be this backpack theory of MLK, Jr.'s, huh? ;) Really though, the girl was very talented--I've seen her in a play at the Hale Center Theatre. Her guy friend who was wearing a very loud outfit had actually zero singing talent whatsoever. At around 8 AM we all got shoved onto the stairs to do some camera shots and more crowd screaming. The camera never came to where we were, which was really annoying. I wanted to sit down, but those who didn't participate got yelled at by the producer. haha. It was so exhausting and annoying.

Finally at 9 AM I believe it was, we got to go inside. We had to get rid of all of our food which SUCKED. And we could only bring in one water bottle. They could have posted something about that on the website. I hid my jerky and gummy bears in my bag though, so all was well. Of course we did some more crowd screaming and camera shots as well as the crowd songs--"Ain't No Mountain High Enough," and "Get Ready," by Marvin Gaye and the Temptations, respectively. Our section was the second section to be let onto the floor.

Everyone was put into small lines of four and waited to be sent to one of five tables behind which were seated 2 to 3 judges. While Tanner, Aric, and Jake were on the floor in line, I waited and took pictures. And then Ryan Seacrest came! He has great presence and charisma. I love him. That part was fun. But once again all of the camera pans did not reach to our section of the arena. I guess the privileged "first group," had already received their payment, so the ones who had to wait got camera privileges. Really boring and annoying though. So we shouted and screamed and heard Ryan do a few takes, and a few "after the break" things as well. Then they set up six more tables on the floor. Of course, the boys got sent to table 11, the farthest away from where I was sitting. So I got up and hurriedly walked down to the other side of the arena so I could be close to them and get some pictures.


The tables.

So in their lines of four, each person stepped out of line, sang their 20 second piece, and stepped back in line. This includes Aric and Tanner. Then the whole line steps up to the table, and the producer says something like, "We really appreciate you coming out. Unfortunately, we are really raising the bar this year, and we're looking for someone with that star quality. None of you really had it," blah blah blah. And out the entire line walked through the "non-winner" door. Let me just say that in the 100-150 people we had seen audition, only 7 made it through to the next round. One was an old man (for entertainment's sake), one was a ventriloquist girl, three had gained some sort of winning privilege prior to the show, and the other two were cute black girls. I don't know how the latter two sang at all, but they certainly had a consistent image going on.


This illustrates both the lines of four as well as the individual whom I shall call, "Pat." Quick! Guess the gender! Whoever guesses correctly gets a prize.


Tanner in line.


Aric singing.


Tanner singing.


The tactful decline.

So as you can see the process was very, very long and very, very tiring. People had been practicing for weeks and weeks to perfect their performance and singing only to sing for 20 seconds and be told "no." The producer that the boys had was apparently very fidgety and didn't even look at them, which really distracted Tanner and Jake. It frustrated all three of them, and rightfully so. The least they can do after all of this time and preparation and fear is LOOK at the auditioners.


The ventriloquist girl.

Anyway, we were done around 11:30 AM which was nice. I was glad we didn't stay there all day to get rejected. We went to lunch at Red Rock, which was decent. After that we drove home and dropped Aric off at his car. Tanner and I shared a churro and softserve at Costco. We took a much needed nap, and met up with Aric and Cody for dinner at Fazoli's around 6:30 PM. Then we got ice cream at Sub-Zero which was SO, SOOO delicious. Easily rivals Cold Stone. I so want to eat there again. Goodness gracious. Back to Idol...

The FAQ states, "Although we would love to audition everyone who registers, it may be impossible given time constraints built into our schedule. There is no guarantee that everyone who registers will be given the opportunity to audition. If our time is running short, the Producer may walk around the venue to pick out people to audition (regardless of how early they registered or their seat numbers) based on performing ability, look, style, personality and other factors, at Producer's sole discretion."

The release form states, "I understand that I may reveal, and other parties may reveal, information about me that is of a personal, private, embarrassing or unfavorable nature, which information may be factual and/or fictional. I further understand that my appearance, depiction and/or portrayal in the Program may be disparaging, defamatory, embarrassing or of an otherwise unfavorable nature which may expose me to public ridicule, humiliation or condemnation."

After reading these things and having been through most of the process myself now, I can say that American Idol is for sure a television show geared toward entertainment. I can say that I don't believe the top 24 are necessarily the most talented or able that the producers/judges may have come across in all of the cities--we at home are missing out on quite a few talented people. I can say that much of the show is, in fact, based on image and uniqueness rather than singing ability, so when Simon says it's a "singing competition," he's full of crap. I can say that for the most part, the people who audition for the show are at least average singers, and the freak shows and tone-deaf people really are the exceptions. I can also say that I now know why people freak out after being rejected by Paula, Randy, and Simon--after the driving, gas, time, money, and energy that the process takes out of you, as well as making them all have hope and then laughing in their faces, people have a right to be upset.

I guess I wasn't expecting a whole lot more than all of those things, but it is still a little disillusioning, I suppose. In any case it was fun to see behind the scenes. And I do still think that all of the people who do get to the judges and are completely horrific probably should be subject to public ridicule and humiliation because of how clueless they are. It's still sad though. None of these things or participating in this process will make me stop watching the show. I do still believe that the show finds very talented people--even if it doesn't do it through the most efficient or fair processes possible. Overall, an eye-opening and once in a lifetime experience :)

Three best things

1. Sleep. That's all I have to say.
2. iPods. I love that I could laugh and listen to music while waiting in so many lines.
3. Flexible bosses/jobs.

Comments

Janice Phillips said…
Wow, that sounds crazy! What songs did they sing? Too bad they didn't advance. I'm glad you posted such detail about the process though, because I was wondering how it all worked after Starla wrote about them doing it.
StacyB said…
You're right it's a bunch of crap...but then how do they get through a quarter million people auditioning? I think it must just be luck--if they really watch you in the first rounds (even then, who are they and what do they know, right?)

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