Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Something(s) That Bug(s) Me: Zumba Edition

I go to Zumba on Saturdays sometimes. People are dumb sometimes. The result? This blog post.


Be a white dude
Be a white dude in a goofy outfit
Be a white dude who randomly yells enthusiastically in the middle of class
We know you’re excited. We also know you’re kind of a creeper. Maybe just try to minimize the obviousness of the latter, hm?

Come in late
Come in late and stand front and center of the room
Come in late, be taller than me, and stand in front of me
You don’t get privileges like a perfect line of vision if you are late. There is a reason that spot is open, and it’s so the rest of us can see. Get your tardy ass to the back of the room.

Don’t make any effort
Half-ass your moves to make us think this is easy for you
Keep your arms at your sides
Look bored
Seriously? There are other places you can be. Go on the treadmill if class is this underwhelming for you. You’ll be less distracting there.

Walk out of class because you can’t keep up
No one is watching you. No one cares how bad your moves look. Just have fun and work up a sweat, man. That’s all it’s about. You look dumber when you leave.

Start dancing before class has begun
Start dancing before class has begun and there is no music to dance to
Do the above looking totally awkward
We know you’re excited. Just contain it for five more minutes if you can manage. Practicing before class is fine if you’re the teacher. Otherwise, just wait.

Take my spot when I walk to the back of the room to wipe off my face and get a drink
Notice how half of the class is doing the same thing? This isn’t, “Get to the place where you wanted to be really fast while they're gone” time. Just move your idiot self back to where you were before. That’s right. Move it.

Take huge steps anytime we go side to side or front to back
Make any huge movement
Do either of the above two when the class is jam packed so that you run into me.
Duh, people. Notice how we all have to take small steps and minimize our movements so as to not encroach on each other’s space? No? Oh. I guess it’s just me whose space is being encroached upon.

Go to the front of the room to “lead”
Be bad at it
Make everyone, especially me, wonder why you are at the front of the room. You’re not helping. 

Really though, if you're going to be dumb in Zumba class, you'd better at least move your shopping cart out of the middle of the aisle at the grocery store. Else I might kill someone. 

Thursday, July 26, 2012

I'm Ready

It's a good thing I am on social networking sites, otherwise my blog readers (if there are any left) might have thought I had died.

Fear not, few followers, for I am alive!

I think my writing class did me a disservice in that I feel like everything I write could be a million times better if I take it through several drafts and a few different readers. But I know better than to think that everything I write has to be refined and perfected. For me, it's more of a need to write something of any quality for my own sanity.

So far this summer I have:

Moved
Gotten a roommate
Spent 91 hours (13 days 8:30-3:30) in a writing class
Spent two weeks in California
Gone on lots of dates
Spent time at the beach
Spent time at the pool
Gotten tan
Lost a friend
Seen lots of movies in theaters
Exercised a ton
Tried a new workout class
Driven from CA to UT
Bitten off all my nails
Been amused by weirdos
Gotten a speeding ticket

The list goes on. That's what happens when you don't write anything down regularly. Life is boiled down to a list of happenings.

Questions I'm pondering lately:

What is the significance of "stuff"? What things/possessions mean the most to me? Why?
At what point does sarcasm become unfunny?
How cynical is too cynical?
How much weight do I give to the opinions of those who are not close to me?
To what extent do I hold back in order to maintain approval?
Why do 24-year old men still feel like they should show off by seeing who can make the bigger splash in the pool?
If you don't cry, does it mean you're not sad?
If you do cry, does it mean you're weak?
To what extent do I make the saying, "Youth is wasted on the young," true?
If you don't talk to somebody often, does it say anything about your friendship/relationship?
Where is the line between acting interested in someone and chasing someone?
Why does God find it funny to rub my shallowness in my face?
Is there anything good about me?
What is the most effective way to get someone to see things differently?
What things should I see differently?
What do people think about me but not say?
Why do we (self included) publicly blast others instead of addressing them privately?
What has social networking and text messaging done to communication?
Does having a discussion by text instead of over the phone or in person indicate cowardice?
Are all my rules absolute?
How does society in the time period of Pride and Prejudice compare to ours?
On that last note, where's the line between being polite and being two-faced?
Why are whole foods so expensive?
How do people decide what their grammar/language peeves are?
Why do people have grammar/language peeves when they don't even know a lot, and they aren't even aware of other issues that exist? (like different from vs. different than, or the reason is because)
How come people are so indirect?
Why are we so afraid of just answering questions and being clear?
Can people learn to answer questions and be direct without hurting feelings?
Can people hear the truth and not freak out?

I could go on and on. One would think I'd never get anything done with constant thoughts like these. But when you're not in a relationship, you don't have kids, and you're generally a loner, really all you're left with is your own thoughts.

And right now I'm thinking about how I want a cupcake.

And about how I'm going to a $5 show with my uncle tonight.

And about all of the things I could and probably should blog about but don't really want to.

And about all the different Pinterest workouts I've tried recently.

And about why swimming with a friend is just so much more fun than going alone.

And about how I just ate a small plate of leftover chicken fried rice and am still incredibly hungry.

Life is still at a standstill for me. I'm running in place. I am only challenging myself in the realm of physical fitness, where ironically I literally am running in place. (I ran two miles in 19:18 today, by the way, which is like a minute better than usual.) Mostly this is my own fault. I think I'm going to change up my life in the next year. Not that anything is set in stone or that the future is predictable. I'm ready though, to go places and find people.

Maybe my next post will actually have a focus.