Friday, July 30, 2010

Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice

I woke up this morning at 9 AM. I had to use the facilities.

When I returned to wash my hands, I found this.

He was about 3/4 of an inch long.

I was nice and took him outside.

Not because I'm actually nice, but because I didn't feel like squishing it would be a viable option, as he has a weird cockroach like skeletal structure. And also because he wouldn't fit down the drain of my sink.

Outside he went.

How did YOU wake up this morning?

Wednesday, July 28, 2010


Today, for the second time in the last few months, I was asked if I am pregnant.

Because of my back and forth dieting, I have gained a considerable amount of weight in recent months. Not enough to go up a full pants size or anything, but enough that I recognize it and am bothered by it. Even with this weight gain, and upon checking and re-checking the mirror, I don't believe my uterus is sticking out.


The first question, at my former place of employment, occurred during a conversation regarding a coworker who was expecting. The asker said, "And you're pregnant too, right?" "... No..." And she recovered by saying, "Oh that's right it's Amanda, not you. I knew someone else was pregnant and for some reason I got you two mixed up."

You mean for some reason I looked like I'd be a viable candidate for said pregnancy? Thanks.

The second question, at my best friend's place of employment, occurred when I came to visit her. The asker said, "Are you pregnant too?" I shook my head, staring blankly at her. She said, "Oh, sorry! It's just that all of her friends are pregnant, so I thought you might be too!" "Nope..." *Awkward silence awaiting Shivani's entrance to the scene* After I informed Shivani of this event, she said, "She asked because all of my friends are pregnant right now. And think of it this way, if you just barely got pregnant, you wouldn't even be showing, right?"

Assuming her coworker actually thought I had just barely conceived. Thanks.

The angle at which it may look as though I am expecting. Although, it's more of a belly stick-out than a uterus stick-out.

The angle at which the girl today was seeing me when she asked if I was pregnant.

Oh well. Back on the diet I go.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

The F Word

A: "Where the f--- is Jason?" 


"I don't know, but I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't talk to me like that." 


A: "Like what?" 


*evil glare* 


A: "Oh, 'f---'?" 




A: "It's just a word, Janae." 


"A word that people wouldn't use if they were more educated and articulate."  


A: "Well, somebody made it up." 


"Somebody who didn't have any useful vocabulary." 


A: "Well it's the same person who made up all the other words Janae." 


"No one made up all the words, idiot. Now go take a linguistics class and leave me alone."

Sunday, July 18, 2010


I'd do Dustin Kensrue. Mmmm...

OK so that's like a really crude way of putting it, but what can I say?

Thrice was amazing. And that man is hawt. So, so hot.

I've just realized that I only have two of the four volumes of the Alchemy Index of Thrice. I'd better be able to find my other two on CD or I'll be irate. Then I'll have to re-buy it.

That was one sweaty, awesome show. I am sticky and stinky and thoroughly satisfied.

We had balcony seats which was both good and bad. Super comfortable, good view... Not as much energy or feel. We were in nice cushiony seats. A good experience for Jared's first time, methinks.


Bad Veins was fun--kind of a Jet, Strokes, Modest Mouse feel to them. Two-man band, and Jared liked them. Or he was amused by the singer's spastic motions.

The Dig was fun also. Their singer was cute and had a good voice.

Kevin Devine... Kind of forgettable. They were good and all, but I'm just so focused on Thrice and hot men who can strum a guitar. Oh yeah, the singer of this band did this kind of bunny hop all over the stage. I guess it's better than just looking boring, but it was kind of funny anyway.

Favorite numbers: Come All You Weary, Artist in the Ambulance, and Image of the Invisible. Golden.

Fox Theater is amazing by the way. If you can catch a show there, do it. I'd go to MGMT tomorrow night but it's too expensive, and a Sunday. Next time. Next time.

Saturday, July 17, 2010


How about you don't call me at 2 AM?

How about you don't play your stupid guitar for me?

How about you don't sing to me?

And how about you don't text me for three hours at a time?

Or chat with me for two hours at a time?

How about you don't ignore me and be a flake and a douchebag?

Oh, and by the way, I hate you.

Thursday, July 8, 2010

Bundt Cake and Time Travel

So first of all, I really wanted Pei Wei today on my way home from working on my classroom... Naturally, I wanted dessert afterward. It only makes perfect sense to go over to Nothing Bundt Cakes and grab myself a personal miniature red velvet cake, right?

I'd like you all to know that ever since I first had their red velvet cake in April, I cannot fully enjoy any other kind. It's both beautiful and tragic.

Secondly, I discovered an amazing artifact in the cleaning of my classroom today.

A time capsule! "Seriously, though?" That's what I said out loud when I found it.

Dear Person-Who-Had-My-Classroom-Before-Me, Thanks but no thanks for allowing me to inherit all of your freaking CLUTTER. Might I add that there is (was) so much crap in here that I even found these?

Come on! Why? For the love.

Third, I applied and deposited only $100 for a new apartment today. I'm very excited about the one they're reserving for me. The tenants who are leaving have been there for four years, so I will "most likely" get new carpet! Yessss! They'll have three weeks from their move out date to let maintenance go to town. I also might get some new fixtures in the kitchen or maybe some light fixtures, not sure. It all depends on what kind of shape it's all in. Also, this particular apartment is at the entrance/exit corner of the complex. It's not right in the middle of the complex, so I can get in and out super fast. My covered parking spot is SUPER close to my stairwell. I'm on the third floor (which I love, I have no one stomping above me, and no bugs). And my balcony has a view of the cemetery across the street. First I thought that was creepy, but now I'm excited because it's better than looking at the ugly parking lot! I'll also get to see/check it out before I sign my lease and everything, just to make sure it's fabulous. I'm pretty freaking excited! Only a month and four days till I say, "Peace out, Provo!" and, "Good riddance, Crestwood!"

Fourth, I called Blockbuster this morning to see when I work next week so I can schedule an oil change/travel check for my car, and Dan said I'm only scheduled on Monday! This means I can leave for home three days earlier than I planned! Yay!! I'm excited.

So much change!

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Frowny Face :(

My favorite jeans have a hole in them. I bought a new pair of the same kind, but they're just not the same. Dang it.

Kix don't taste as good as I remember them tasting.

Apartment hunting sucks.

/the end.

Sunday, July 4, 2010

A Few Things

1. The word "heir" as in, "I am an heir to the throne," or, "I inherited a valuable family heirloom," does not call for a vocal "h." Heir is pronounced like air, not hair! Are we clear on this? Come on, people...

2. I received many compliments on my hair accessory today (and a compliment on my shoes--thanks Alison!). I'm glad I invested! One girl even said, "You always have the cutest hair accessories!" How darling is that? What a cute girl. Then she reached over and touched it when I wasn't expecting it, and she gave me a start!

3. Bangs are so useful. Especially when they cover an emerging horn in the middle of your forehead. Right?

Thanks, bangs!

4. Today is an excellent day for watching Independence Day. I think I will, while my chicken marinates and my brown rice cooks.

5. I like numbered lists lately.

6. Shakespeare becomes more brilliant the older I get.

7. Stadium of Fire was so fun. Less focused on military men and family this time, and overall shorter and less emotional. But the fireworks were awesome, and Carrie Underwood is freaking BRILLIANT! I love that woman.

8. I tried Sweet Tooth Fairy with my friend the other day. It was delicious. Except their cupcakes are the same price as the Cocoa Bean, but they're not even huge like the Cocoa Bean cupcakes.  So maybe if they a) lower their prices or b) increase their cupcake size, I would go there instead. Because seriously, the cupcake was so dang good. Coconut. M-hm.

9. I'm ending on a random number.

Friday, July 2, 2010

Setting Aside

OK, let's first set aside that this happened today, shall we?

Again, I'll just say, karma to you, poop heads, for parking your baskets on the paint of my beautiful car. Karma, I say!!! Grr.

Let's focus now on the good things, since anger has been raging in my veins for the last several days (my apartment complex making me and my friend leave the pool because her tankini revealed a small part of her back, my work schedule being Fri/Sat till 10 this week and Fri/Sat till close next week, while other CSRs get off at 6 all of those days, my mom suggesting an outlandish idea, among other things).

First, So You Think You Can Dance is the best show ever in the world, maybe better than Glee... Because of the unspeakable joy and cathartic sorrow it provides me with. Secondly, this routine is probably one of my (and the rest of the world's) favorites EVER! Watch it!

I can't embed it. Just click it, and skip to 1:10 and you'll have a most pleasurable experience probably only comparable to some other type I shan't mention.

Before I get to my third point let me explain that teacher salaries work in steps and lanes. Student teaching or interning does not count as your first step in teaching. So after you've completed a full year long internship, you still have to start at step 1. The first 3 steps are the same salary.

(So now) Thirdly, I called the human resources office today to set up an appointment to do my new hire paperwork and whatnot (Tuesday at 10 AM, don't forget!). She said, "So you still have a contract with Provo District, is that right?" And I said, "Well I was just an intern through BYU so I am done." She calmly said, "Oh, I see. Well we're going to accept your internship as your first step, so you'll start on step 2..." like it ain't no thang, ladies and gents, that I only have to do TWO years of this salary. How freaking awesome is this? What a blessing. Tithing, people. Tithing.

Fourth, my Blockbuster manager called me this morning (woke me up actually) to tell me that I am not working tomorrow night. He said two CSRs were scheduled which isn't necessary because of Stadium of Fire. I was really excited to get off work, but my Stadium of Fire ticket had already been given to my cousin, putting a damper on my excitement. But then my uncle Bry isn't able to go and has other plans, so I still get to go with his ticket! AND see Carrie Underwood. AND meet our "new" cousin Whitley! Wooooooot! Triple whammy!

Fifth, we found my late uncle John's 19-year old daughter whom we've never been allowed to communicate with and could never find before. She's very excited, as are we! I have a new girl cousin who is my age! She has a whole new family! How awesome.

Sixth, I purchased a new 1.3 MP webcam for $13 at Big! Lots. I'm telling you guys. Big! Lots is my bff. It even hangs on my laptop so I can stick it right in the center, angled as it would be if it were built in to my camless laptop. THIRTEEN DOLLARS! My day is awesome.

Seventh, my second cousin Marla hooked me up with a new cookie recipe and some key ingredients so that I can make them pronto. I'm very excited. I was planning on making some today but...

Eighth, I had another two hour long conversation with someone I like. Instead of making cookies. So that's good. :)

Ninth, I'm driving home in two weeks! And am making a stop on the wayyyy...

Tenth, I was in the top 10 CSRs in our whole district for sales last week. I'm freaking awesome! Do Rewards, I say! Really! Do them.

Eleventh, I like sunshine. It makes me feel like this: