Thursday, April 26, 2012

5K - On My Way

Well, a few days ago, I signed up for a 5K my district is doing on May 5.

Being that I've been running a lot in recent weeks, I figured 3.1 miles would be doable.

I ate the $22.50 registration fee (hey, at least I get a medal and a t-shirt), and signed up for the big event.

I ran every day over spring break because of the limitation of my gym membership to one location.

On Monday, after I signed up, I ran 3 miles on the treadmill at the gym. I did it in about 30 minutes (OK, 30 minutes and 34 seconds).

That's about a 10:11 mile. I was pretty happy with it. And I felt totally fine, like I could have kept going if I wanted to.

I texted my friend to tell him that I ran 3 miles in 30 minutes, and he texted back saying, "Wow, that's really good. Were you jogging?"

Ouch, Rob. Ouch.

I suppose maybe what I call "running" isn't really running at all.

I've added to my anxiety of this race with poor habits this week. Monday I ran and lifted. But after that... Yikes.

Tuesday I had class in Orem and dinner with a friend, so no workout.

And don't worry that yesterday I was like the walking dead and had a meltdown after I got home. Of course, I didn't work out because I was exhausted emotionally and physically. So I slept the whole day. Then I got up around 9 PM and ate. I got back in bed at 10 PM, but I couldn't fall asleep.

Then I ended up having a text and phone conversation that lasted until 10 minutes before I had to start getting ready for work. So, I didn't sleep a wink last night.

Naturally, I haven't worked out today. I don't think that would work out very well for me at all; I've been pretty foggy and dizzy today.


I will work out tomorrow after work, and on Saturday I'll do the boot camp class at the gym. The thing about exercising regularly is that when I say "I will work out," that's not a question or something I tell myself to make myself feel better. I legitimately, unquestioningly, absolutely will. Pretty nice to be that consistent and regular about it, so that it's not really something I even have to think about anymore. It's just a built-in part of my routine.

Thus, I will be working out regularly and plenty prepared for this event.

I will kill the 5K, even if it's at a "jogging" pace.


Monday, April 23, 2012


Sometimes I make cake.

Sometimes it turns out really, really deliciously.

Sometimes you can just see how delicious it is.

And then sometimes I freeze it in individual slices so I can be sure to eat the whole. dang. thing.

Saturday, April 21, 2012

Mid-20s Crisis

Well there are about a million and a half things I could blog about because I haven't blogged in forever. For a while there I was pretty busy. I had spring break, which turned out to be good and bad. I've been writing a lot of articles and stuff to bring in some extra money. I put in my 60 days notice at my apartment complex. I'm having anxiety about moving. I went to boot camp today at the gym. I spent hours and hours cleaning and trying to remove stains from my clothing. I planned lessons. And now it's 9 PM and I'm finally trying to take a deep breath.

On the plus side, my apartment smells and looks nice. And I have a delicious chocolate lovers' bundt cake calling my name.

I don't know how many times I have said this, but honestly, I'd rather have someone just

A) Tell me no instead of give me a maybe
B) Not even mention something without having the intention of doing it.

A): I waited all spring break to hear about something that I expected probably wouldn't happen. But there was just that waiting and hoping that it would. I'd rather have heard a "no" on day 1, then I could just move on mentally. You know?

B): Someone recently mentioned making a "regular thing" out of talking on the phone. Needless to say, that has not happened.

I just am tired of feeling like I do not matter to people, like people forget about me, or like they don't really give a rat's about communicating with me. I go out of my way to do certain things. I put in energy and kind of risk a little bit and realize that they're not going to do the same. Good intentions are great. But where's the follow through?

Anyway, as negative as all of that sounds, I'm not in a grouchy or angry mood. I just am tired and frustrated by how everybody is the same.

I'm having a bit of a crisis right now besides. I'm wanting to GTFO of here. I don't know where "here" is, though. That's the problem. Do I want a new job? Do I want to move into another city or state? Do I want to stay here and buy a house?

The answer to all of those is yes. I'm 25. I'm single. I have no kids and no ties to anything here. I can pick up and go anywhere I want. But that part of me that loves stability and consistency, that loves knowing that there is a job to go to, that knows her way around town just does not want to take that kind of risk.

I've been seriously considering Teach for America. I figure now's as good a time as any to try it out. They make you do your masters. And will train you and place you in one of your top 3 or 5 preferred areas. How cool and scary would that be?

I just don't really see any reason to stay here besides that it's safe. I don't think I'll find anyone to marry here, either, to be honest. And that's a huge reason I am in Utah anyway.

Honestly, I have had a lot of ideas for a bunch of blog topics, but haven't written any of them down. And I'm exhausted now. So "write a blog" was just another box on my checklist for today. Now it's done. I'm going to eat cake and watch a movie. G'bye.