Saturday, June 25, 2011

Summer Time

What does a teacher do in the summer, you ask?

She looks for other work, of course! Anything but teaching, obviously

Since I got back from California (which was a totally uneventful trip because I had no money), this is how my days have been:

Wake up
Go to the gym for an hour
Drink some sort of protein shake
Work for Zorkler for an hour
Shower/get ready
Run any necessary errands
(on Tuesday I had a lunch date at Cafe Rio)
(on Wednesday I got a free lunch and read my book at the park and had a Frogurt date)
(on Thursday I tanned by the pool)
Cook dinner (usually chicken/fish, pasta, and some sort of veggie)
Watch a movie or two on Netflix
Go to bed

I also sometimes try different things. Like last night I went to Taylorsville Dayzz to hear the symphony and check out the booths at which I had no money to spend.

Last night I also made sweet potato fries! They turned out pretty darn good. I think I'll try again with thinner cuts or longer cook times. And I made these:


I know, right? Sometimes I amaze me with how I can entertain myself so easily. I also watched the Adjustment Bureau with a male. It was pretty good. Not really a new or profound concept to me, but entertaining.

This week I went to the 24 S.E.T. class and Zumba class at 24 Hour Fitness. The S.E.T. class had me super sore, and Zumba was just so fun. Exercising five days in one week after spending all of Monday in car is not too shabby, right?

As for these jobs... The Zorkler one is just where I post deals, freebies, and sweepstakes on a blog. I sometimes try to make it clever but don't always succeed. I recently signed a contract with Orange Soda, which, as I understand it, basically publishes blogs/articles using several key words to get website hits for its clients. I'll be writing those. I don't know any more details than that right now. These two jobs are no big deal. I can do them from home, and it's not going to make me a ton of money. But anything helps, especially when I have to move in two months. Moving is so expensive.

They wanted to up my rent from $599 to $635. Uh? No thanks. I've already been pricing out some other places and have found things way cheaper and sometimes better than this place. So hopefully things will work out for me. I really despise moving, more than the average person does.

A brief recap on my California trip: I wasted time on my laptop. I sat around. I did my project for school (which I turned in on Tuesday). I went to breakfast and hung out with my amigo Justin. I talked to guys--lots of them. I went to the beach and got totally fried (we covered this, but I peeled really bad on pretty much my whole body!). I ate at Pinkberry twice. I hung out with my family. And that's about it.

And this day, since I already started it off right with Zumba and a blog, will continue in its glory. I am getting a massage today at 1 PM (by a male. Does this weird anyone else out?). Then I might meet a sort of blind date set up through the secretary at my school. Then I'm going to a Salt Lake Bees game! I love baseball, and I am so excited!

So I think that's about all the "action" in my life, with the exception of a few details that no one wants to know about. Don't let your imaginations run away with you. I don't have an STD or anything.

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Mr. Shibbs is the Shiz

Anyone who's close to me knows how much I love my cat.

So for those of you who aren't close to me, congratulations. You just received your first bit of exclusive "close friends only" tidbit about Janae.

Our cat (aka Mr. Shibbs, Shibbs, Shibby, Shibbah, Shibbat-Shibbat, the cutest cat in the world) came to us ten years ago. His mother was a stray cat who had wandered through our house a couple of times, as if to assess the situation. A few nights after she had done so, we heard meowing on our front door step. And there was mother and baby. She looked at us and meowed as if to ask us to please watch over her baby. And so we adopted our favorite ball of fur.


Some of you may be judging me and my family, "Oh, they must be 'cat people.'" Actually, this far from the truth. Our family does not "do" cats. But his story is just so cute, who could resist taking care of him, right?

Some fun facts about my main man:

Shibbs begs like a dog, lifting up his front paws to signal to us that he is ready to eat.

He roams the neighborhood.

He has a posse of other cats. He's like their godfather.

He was declawed to be an in-house cat, so when he gets in cat fights now, he boxes it out. And wins.

He looks both ways before crossing the street.

He has an unusually long and puffy tail.

He's very, very tall.

He loves me.

Oh my lovey kitty. I've had him for ten years and am hoping he's maxes out his nine lives over another ten years.

Friday, June 17, 2011

Little Garden Statues

I have recently decided something.

Little statues bother me.

Bronze children... Cement fairies... Smiling small people...

Why do people put these things in their yards?



Creepy.

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Beach Adventures

You know you've been in the land of winter too long when you are Hawaiian and have gotten your first extremely bad sunburn.

My face has gotten red before. It turned brown the next day. I've been red before, but it has never actually been painful.

This, my friends, is painful. My legs are red, my arms are red, my back is red, my face is red, my chest is red, everything is red! It hurts very badly. Sleeping last night with a sheet was a fun adventure. I woke up all stiff and sore, probably from staying frozen all night to avoid pain.

Yesterday, I went to Huntington Beach. My brothers did not want to go with me. And I didn't want to pay $15 to park. So I parked on Magnolia and walked about a mile carrying a really heavy ice chest and some other provisions. It was rough, but worth it. I finally lay down on my straw mat on the sand at 11:30 AM.

Unfortunately, at the shore, the weather was really overcast, which means more harmful UV rays. But I'm brown. I don't burn. Right? The temperature was great, and there was a breeze that wasn't too chilly.

After being by myself for a couple of hours, some groups started showing up. There was a huge amount of empty space between me and the next life guard tower. But within three minutes of each other, two separate groups sat within 15 feet of me. Seriously? All the empty space you can imagine, and these people want to be next to me. Why? What is it with people and their sheeplike tendencies?

One group had two ladies and two guys. The guys went out into the water, and I got to hear a very colorful conversation about one of the ladies' sexual exploits. She was using F words and talking about her orgasms and about a certain guy's abilities. I'm toning it down here, for your sake. I had about enough of that so I grabbed my headphones and listened to Taking Back Sunday.

The other group had several people in it--maybe 7 or 8 young men and women. They were fine... until they started playing frisbee. One of them mis-fired. And the frisbee landed in such a way as to totally spray me with sand. Awesome. Thanks, guys.

The fun doesn't end there. In that small amount of empty space between me and the larger group, a family of 7 decided to stake it out three feet away from me. Are you kidding me? Really though. Really?

I thought that all of this would be perfect for the blog.  But I needed proof. This illustrates how much empty space there was, and therefore how unnecessary it was to be so close to me.


Yeah. I was not exaggerating. Three feet away from me.

So there I was for four hours in the overcast sunlight after 6 months of winter in the wasteland otherwise known as Utah. I finally departed at about 3:30 back to my car--with a much lighter load after emptying my ice chest.

I got home, and here I am with the worst sunburn I think I've ever had in my life. I need to move back to a place with sunlight. This is ridiculous.

Monday, June 13, 2011

One or the Other

Why does it always happen that someone is either

A. Really attractive

but they don't have the qualities I want or need?

or

B. They have the qualities I want or need

but they are not attractive?

It sucks.

Thursday, June 9, 2011

Nike

Just do it.

I think we have established several things about me on this blog. Of those many things, a few are worth repeating (and emulating, might I add):

I get things done--I am a list person.
I have follow-through--I do what I say I will do.
I am not a procrastinator.

Now, I know not everyone is like me. I think the world would be boring if everybody were like me. But I firmly believe that these three things are necessary for a functioning relationship (of any sort, but especially romantically).

Let's make a list of situations when these three traits would have been useful recently:

"I will come to see you on that weekend." (Oh wait, I'm going to do these other plans instead. Sorry for not sticking to our plans.)
"We will Skype tonight." (Oh wait, I'd rather get PF Chang's with my friends. Sorry, I just really like PF Chang's.)
"I will call you tonight." (Oh, what? 4 AM is not tonight anymore? Sorry, I had to spend 16 hours with my friend.)
"I will text you after I'm done with this..." (Oh, I fell asleep. Sorry. I didn't forget though. I just fell asleep.) 
"I will email you while I am in Mexico." (Oh, sorry, I was too busy sun bathing to email you at all.)
"I will woo you like I did before." (Oh, I mean... Wooing isn't necessary once you're in a relationship. Sorry for the confusion.)
"I will communicate with you if we are together." (Oh, that is, after I've been a jerk to you because you couldn't read my mind. Sorry, maybe next time I'll tell you what's wrong.)
"I will send you the texts you asked for." (Oh, you wanted them within a day or two? Texts and affection are too difficult, sorry.)
"I will be a better boyfriend." (When I'm not working, eating, sleeping, or hanging out with my friends. Oh, I didn't know I'd have to prioritize correctly in order to follow through with that. Sorry for not putting you first.)
"I will put up the pictures from my camera on Facebook." (Oh, that was important to you, to see those? Shoot, sorry. I still won't put them up.)

That's ten offenses, but I am pretty sure I could keep going. Mind you, these are all real circumstances! "I will," and "I'm sorry," are two phrases I'd love to never hear again in my life except in rare sincere circumstances. Don't say you will! Just freaking do it! Don't say you're sorry, just freaking fix it!

I believe I am extremely forthcoming with my demands. I say what I want, when I want it! (because I've learned that guys don't just catch onto these things.) And hey, I want someone to succeed one of these days, so I try to give you all the steps to do so. Plus, I give way more than what I ask for in return--so if someone could just reciprocate for a change... that would be ideal.

Here are my succinct "dating Janae" tips:

1. Love languages: words of affirmation and quality time.

2. Important parts of my "blue" personality: As a BLUE, driven by Intimacy, you seek deep, personal connections with your partner. That doesn't just mean that you want to understand everything about them. You wouldn't feel that your relationship was complete unless he understood you completely either. You should look for a partner who can move beyond superficial conversation and is willing to understand every bit about what makes you you. You Need To Feel Appreciated By Your Partner: You love to give openly and always go the extra mile to please your partner. All you desire in return is that he appreciate the effort that you make to do what you do. You will be happiest in finding someone who is comfortable and open in expressing that appreciation and who doesn't take your 110% effort for granted.

In spite of how much I constantly give... In spite of how I always give more than what I ask for in return... In spite of me giving multiple chances, communicating clearly and fairly, and having reiterated my love language and relationship needs, I still can't have a successful and healthy relationship.

Maybe just not with him. At least that's what I'm hoping is the case.

Isn't there anyone out there who will actually listen to me? Isn't there anyone who will actually think I'm worth the effort I ask for? Isn't there anyone who appreciates a girl who is direct and to the point? Or is everyone intimidated by it?

And isn't there anyone who actually DOES what he says he will do? And isn't there anyone who actually says sorry and then tries to fix the problem so it never happens again?

Come on, universe. Come on. 

Monday, June 6, 2011

Sharp Things

There is a certain irony to using an incredibly sharp paring knife to cut up some fruit...

And then getting cut on your thumb not from the knife, but from the seed in the peach pit.

Seriously? Only me.

Sunday, June 5, 2011

Marriage Fail

Four of my exes are married. FOUR of them.

Out of six.

That's two thirds of them.

One who is still single is not LDS and in no hurry.

I'm like the magic charm to get guys married.

So dudes, if you're looking to get married... Date me! Then your next girl will be the wifey type.

What's my defect?

Saturday, June 4, 2011

A Good Quote

"It's impossible," said pride.
"It's risky," said experience.
"It's pointless," said reason.
"Give it a try," whispered the heart.