Thursday, June 9, 2011


Just do it.

I think we have established several things about me on this blog. Of those many things, a few are worth repeating (and emulating, might I add):

I get things done--I am a list person.
I have follow-through--I do what I say I will do.
I am not a procrastinator.

Now, I know not everyone is like me. I think the world would be boring if everybody were like me. But I firmly believe that these three things are necessary for a functioning relationship (of any sort, but especially romantically).

Let's make a list of situations when these three traits would have been useful recently:

"I will come to see you on that weekend." (Oh wait, I'm going to do these other plans instead. Sorry for not sticking to our plans.)
"We will Skype tonight." (Oh wait, I'd rather get PF Chang's with my friends. Sorry, I just really like PF Chang's.)
"I will call you tonight." (Oh, what? 4 AM is not tonight anymore? Sorry, I had to spend 16 hours with my friend.)
"I will text you after I'm done with this..." (Oh, I fell asleep. Sorry. I didn't forget though. I just fell asleep.) 
"I will email you while I am in Mexico." (Oh, sorry, I was too busy sun bathing to email you at all.)
"I will woo you like I did before." (Oh, I mean... Wooing isn't necessary once you're in a relationship. Sorry for the confusion.)
"I will communicate with you if we are together." (Oh, that is, after I've been a jerk to you because you couldn't read my mind. Sorry, maybe next time I'll tell you what's wrong.)
"I will send you the texts you asked for." (Oh, you wanted them within a day or two? Texts and affection are too difficult, sorry.)
"I will be a better boyfriend." (When I'm not working, eating, sleeping, or hanging out with my friends. Oh, I didn't know I'd have to prioritize correctly in order to follow through with that. Sorry for not putting you first.)
"I will put up the pictures from my camera on Facebook." (Oh, that was important to you, to see those? Shoot, sorry. I still won't put them up.)

That's ten offenses, but I am pretty sure I could keep going. Mind you, these are all real circumstances! "I will," and "I'm sorry," are two phrases I'd love to never hear again in my life except in rare sincere circumstances. Don't say you will! Just freaking do it! Don't say you're sorry, just freaking fix it!

I believe I am extremely forthcoming with my demands. I say what I want, when I want it! (because I've learned that guys don't just catch onto these things.) And hey, I want someone to succeed one of these days, so I try to give you all the steps to do so. Plus, I give way more than what I ask for in return--so if someone could just reciprocate for a change... that would be ideal.

Here are my succinct "dating Janae" tips:

1. Love languages: words of affirmation and quality time.

2. Important parts of my "blue" personality: As a BLUE, driven by Intimacy, you seek deep, personal connections with your partner. That doesn't just mean that you want to understand everything about them. You wouldn't feel that your relationship was complete unless he understood you completely either. You should look for a partner who can move beyond superficial conversation and is willing to understand every bit about what makes you you. You Need To Feel Appreciated By Your Partner: You love to give openly and always go the extra mile to please your partner. All you desire in return is that he appreciate the effort that you make to do what you do. You will be happiest in finding someone who is comfortable and open in expressing that appreciation and who doesn't take your 110% effort for granted.

In spite of how much I constantly give... In spite of how I always give more than what I ask for in return... In spite of me giving multiple chances, communicating clearly and fairly, and having reiterated my love language and relationship needs, I still can't have a successful and healthy relationship.

Maybe just not with him. At least that's what I'm hoping is the case.

Isn't there anyone out there who will actually listen to me? Isn't there anyone who will actually think I'm worth the effort I ask for? Isn't there anyone who appreciates a girl who is direct and to the point? Or is everyone intimidated by it?

And isn't there anyone who actually DOES what he says he will do? And isn't there anyone who actually says sorry and then tries to fix the problem so it never happens again?

Come on, universe. Come on. 

1 comment:

StacyB said...

Extremely well said ~ not that it's a surprise!