Sunday, November 21, 2010

Straight from the Source

Boy: you know how you don't write someone every day for a year and then build them a dream house?

Janae: yes.

Boy: you also don't meet someone by coincidence who used to live in the same house.. 600 miles aways.. and end up both english teachers with similar personalities. and you also don't go on tour with bon jovi.. and become friends with pete wentz. so those movies might be on to somethin :)

Friday, November 19, 2010

Busy Bee

Monday: work, dinner (slow cooked), and a movie (Letters to God)

Tuesday: work till 3:15, class till 7:00, Glee till 8:30, not home till 9:20.

Wednesday: work, dinner and hang out with Brianne

Thursday: work, dinner with Rachel, Transsiberian Orchestra concert till 11 PM.

Friday: work.

I'm looking forward to doing NOTHING tomorrow night. Though, my apartment is a wreck so I should probably do something about that.

Saturday I am finally free from homework but REALLY need to grade those essays I've had for like three weeks, and I need to do some special lesson plans for my class project.

I love having friends and having plans. What really sucks is going a week or two doing absolutely nothing. Then having a week where I have been nonstop! haha. I'd like an even pace.

Bedtime (4 hours ago. heh).

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

5 Things I'll Do

There are a number of things I tell myself I will or will never do as a parent someday... These are things I feel are most important, at this moment in time. We'll see how I feel when I'm actually in that stage of my life. I'm sure I'll just want to add.

1.    Have regular prayer and communication with my husband regarding all things important, namely children, finances, employment, mutual happiness and mutual improvement.
2.    Have family dinner at least five nights per week, whether it’s over Chinese takeout or chicken and dumplings, where all aspects of life will be discussed.
3.    Bear my testimony of Jesus Christ and his gospel to my family freely and frequently in several ways, namely through words, frequent prayer, utilizing the priesthood, attending church, and attending the temple.
4.    Show love to my husband and to my children every day, by word or deed.
5.    Teach my children right from wrong as well as how to right their wrongs, through the atonement of Jesus Christ.

Friday, November 12, 2010

In His Palm

I am the rock
in His palm.

I am held.
Thrown
in whichever direction He pleases.

I am a rough object
in His soft hand.
Smoothing over time.

I am sand
Crumbling
in the wind, rain, and storm.

I am a rock
Sand
made shaped and solid

in His palm.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Christmas Cravings

I've NEVER wanted Christmas decorations up so early, or to start listening to Christmas music so soon.

Not sure what to do about this.

I love Christmas.

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Dead Bird

Who knows how long ago, a bird crashed into my balcony door. I noticed him laying on the threshold when I opened my door several nights ago.

I've finally gotten around to moving its little corpse into a bag.

Yeah... A bird carcass is sitting inside my trash can.

Don't worry about it.

(P.S. Really, don't worry about it. I'm taking the bag out tonight.)

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

"Repost This"

OK...

Too many annoying status trends on Facebook lately.

For example:

"If your Dad is your hero, your best friend, or just the best Dad ever. Whether you are blessed to have your Dad still with you, or if he is an angel in heaven. Copy & paste this into your status and let everyone know you are proud of your Dad & that you love him & he is always in your heart & on your mind."

"5 years old: my mom is the best! 7 years old: Mom I love you. 10 years old: mom whatever. 17 years old: OMG my mom is so annoying. 18 years old: I wanna leave this house. 25 years old: I wanna go back to my moms house. 50 years old: I don't wanna lose my mom. 70 years old: I would...give... up everything for my mom to be here...with me...post this on your wall if you appreciate your MOMMA!"

"BROTHER WEEK. If you have a brother who has made you laugh, knocked you around,stuck up for you, drove you crazy, hugged you, watched you succeed, saw you fall (or tripped you, once or twice), picked you backup, cheered you on, made you strong, and most importantly loved you,... then copy & paste this to your status."


Those are copied and pasted without changes. 

Now, while the intentions here are good, I want to point out one of the major flaws of Facebook (and people). We rely on it to communicate for us, indirectly, to those we care about.

My dad barely ever gets on Facebook. Reposting something like the above would just be a way for me to look "oh, so sweet," to everyone else on Facebook. Why do that when my dad won't see it anyway? 



I have a solution... just TELL the people you care about how you feel about them.


I call my dad almost every day. We talk about nothing or everything. I love him. He knows that because I call him and because we talk. Not because I reposted a stupid Facebook update. 

I call my mom just as often, for any reason and every reason. Sickness, girl stuff, cooking, whatever. I prayed and thanked Heavenly Father for my mom very recently. I thought she might like to know, since Heavenly Father's not gonna go tell her. So I texted her to let her know. I'm pretty sure it made her night. She's on Facebook all the time, but even SHE could  miss a status update. 

I love my brothers. I call them or text THEM to let them know. Not Facebook. 


I believe in taking the opportunity to have real, direct connections with people. Status chains and trends may never get seen. What good is it to them anyway?  

Walk the walk, people. Walk the walk.

Monday, November 1, 2010

Vichyssoise of Verbiage

So remember that time my car got broken into in Provo because I accidentally left my door unlocked?

I forgot again.

And got robbed again.

Now, don't judge me, folks. I COMPULSIVELY lock my car when I leave it. Sometimes I even push the lock button twice. I push the lock button on my key chain twice to hear my car honk, as if to say, "I'm locked, I'm locked!" I lock, lock, lock my car!

However, sometimes I go and check my mail then come back to my car to get all my stuff (especially if I have lots of groceries). Such was the case on Friday eve. I probably came back to get my stuff and forgot to lock my car. On Saturday I went to get into my car, and the same setup had happened. I guess they're all alike. My sunglasses were out on my seat, my oil change card and car registration out of my glove compartment, etc.

This time, I had no cash available to the thief. I also remembered, as I always do, to bring my iPod in the house. In my center console I have plugins for chargers and also my auxiliary in plug. I have had an iPod charger for my car for the last five years. It consists of a white port that plugs into the lighter area, and the cord that goes from that port to my iPod. Let me tell you how stupid this bastage thief was...

He took the freaking port and not the cord. Seriously? What the freak!?

Let me explain also that my iPod charger is NOT for a USB plug. It will only match up with that awkward plug that he left in my car. So that idiot will get all of NOTHING out of that charger. What a freaking moron.

I went to Big Lots today and got a new iPod charger for all of seven dollars. I know, right? That guy's gonna make a whoppin' $7 off of my car charger. Thanks for inconveniencing me over such a dumb thing, McDouche. If the cops catch you I hope they slit your throat. Grrr.

---

My grandma got me a mug. It's cute. It looks like this...

It's cute. I know.

----

I graded book reviews and finalized term 1 grades on Friday. In the pile were the book reviews of twin siblings. One is a total wench and hates my guts. The other is a sweet boy who loves me and gives me hugs. He works hard and is honest and great. I was really surprised that both of their book reviews were not only exactly the same, they came from this website. Very original. Second hit when I searched "Twilight book review," too.

I confronted them about it today and one was apologetic, and the other one didn't care. I'm sure you can appropriate the comments yourself.

----

I called Blockbuster on my way home to see how much V for Vendetta was for sale. Because the 5th of November is coming up! Woot woot. They had it for $10, new. But FYE had it for the same price, used, special edition!

The good news doesn't end there. When I was checking out, the employee was telling me how she got V for Vendetta on Blu-Ray for "like eleven bucks." She pointed me in the right direction, and I purchased the Blu-Ray for $11.99 plus tax. Stoked? Me too.

----

I worked out today for the first time in probably a month or more. I got home from work at 4ish (having stopped to purchase a movie and an iPod charger) and decided not to sit around. It relieves so much stress and tension. I love it.

The past six months or more have been the roughest in my life in terms of my body image. My back and forth dieting last year made my body hold on to weight that it never even had to begin with, so this is the largest I've ever been. I saw it even more clearly when I looked at my profile in the mirror as I was on the elliptical today.

I pretty much disgust myself. I can't take a decent picture anymore. I don't accept compliments well because I have a hard time believing they're true. I just can't do it.

I generally eat REALLY well... Yogurt/oatmeal/cereal/fruit/juice/something of the sort for breakfast. Granola bar/apple/string cheese/etc. for a snack. Leftovers/salad/protein shake/300 calorie frozen meal/etc. for lunch. Dinner is probably where I go wrong. But I pride myself on being relatively healthy, consistently. I'm looking for permanent changes, not back and forth metabolic alterations that RUIN my body like they have in the last year. So I'm trying to be consistent. It hasn't worked. Because once my body is stable, it stays the same and doesn't gain or lose weight. I'm kind of at a loss of what to do to get results without throwing everything off like I have been.

I've never hated myself so much when I look in the mirror. So there's my ultra personal rant which probably no one will read. That lets you know that I'm not fishing for compliments. I am genuinely struggling with my self-image and no compliment would help that anyway.

So anyways the gym was good for me this evening. Hopefully now I can eat, shower, relax, read (or finish) my book, and sleep, feeling highly accomplished. 

----

I could write a really long blog on re-reading books. But I read books in large part for language. Original, beautiful language, dripping with uniqueness. So I'm reading The Lovely Bones again. I haven't read it in eight years or so. It is even more amazing this time, since the depth of my emotions runs much deeper and my self-awareness runs much higher.

----

I feel like I'm exposing myself to a lot of "loss" lately. In the book I'm reading, the movies I'm watching... There's this pattern of deep sadness that I'm exposing myself to. Yesterday it really got to me. I was fasting though, and am probably PMSing. But The Greatest was a fantastic movie, and I wouldn't take back my watching it yesterday for anything. I just feel for characters of all sorts... That's probably why I love books and movies so much--being able to feel and experience through others, and being able to learn from that, and empathize with it.

----

Ramble, ramble, ramble. I haven't made a regular habit of writing, and my patriarchal blessing reminded me that I am "blessed with the gift of writing." So it's just gotta happen, even if no one reads it. :)

Shower time. (sing it, like "hammertime.")

Love.