Monday, November 1, 2010

Vichyssoise of Verbiage

So remember that time my car got broken into in Provo because I accidentally left my door unlocked?

I forgot again.

And got robbed again.

Now, don't judge me, folks. I COMPULSIVELY lock my car when I leave it. Sometimes I even push the lock button twice. I push the lock button on my key chain twice to hear my car honk, as if to say, "I'm locked, I'm locked!" I lock, lock, lock my car!

However, sometimes I go and check my mail then come back to my car to get all my stuff (especially if I have lots of groceries). Such was the case on Friday eve. I probably came back to get my stuff and forgot to lock my car. On Saturday I went to get into my car, and the same setup had happened. I guess they're all alike. My sunglasses were out on my seat, my oil change card and car registration out of my glove compartment, etc.

This time, I had no cash available to the thief. I also remembered, as I always do, to bring my iPod in the house. In my center console I have plugins for chargers and also my auxiliary in plug. I have had an iPod charger for my car for the last five years. It consists of a white port that plugs into the lighter area, and the cord that goes from that port to my iPod. Let me tell you how stupid this bastage thief was...

He took the freaking port and not the cord. Seriously? What the freak!?

Let me explain also that my iPod charger is NOT for a USB plug. It will only match up with that awkward plug that he left in my car. So that idiot will get all of NOTHING out of that charger. What a freaking moron.

I went to Big Lots today and got a new iPod charger for all of seven dollars. I know, right? That guy's gonna make a whoppin' $7 off of my car charger. Thanks for inconveniencing me over such a dumb thing, McDouche. If the cops catch you I hope they slit your throat. Grrr.

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My grandma got me a mug. It's cute. It looks like this...

It's cute. I know.

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I graded book reviews and finalized term 1 grades on Friday. In the pile were the book reviews of twin siblings. One is a total wench and hates my guts. The other is a sweet boy who loves me and gives me hugs. He works hard and is honest and great. I was really surprised that both of their book reviews were not only exactly the same, they came from this website. Very original. Second hit when I searched "Twilight book review," too.

I confronted them about it today and one was apologetic, and the other one didn't care. I'm sure you can appropriate the comments yourself.

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I called Blockbuster on my way home to see how much V for Vendetta was for sale. Because the 5th of November is coming up! Woot woot. They had it for $10, new. But FYE had it for the same price, used, special edition!

The good news doesn't end there. When I was checking out, the employee was telling me how she got V for Vendetta on Blu-Ray for "like eleven bucks." She pointed me in the right direction, and I purchased the Blu-Ray for $11.99 plus tax. Stoked? Me too.

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I worked out today for the first time in probably a month or more. I got home from work at 4ish (having stopped to purchase a movie and an iPod charger) and decided not to sit around. It relieves so much stress and tension. I love it.

The past six months or more have been the roughest in my life in terms of my body image. My back and forth dieting last year made my body hold on to weight that it never even had to begin with, so this is the largest I've ever been. I saw it even more clearly when I looked at my profile in the mirror as I was on the elliptical today.

I pretty much disgust myself. I can't take a decent picture anymore. I don't accept compliments well because I have a hard time believing they're true. I just can't do it.

I generally eat REALLY well... Yogurt/oatmeal/cereal/fruit/juice/something of the sort for breakfast. Granola bar/apple/string cheese/etc. for a snack. Leftovers/salad/protein shake/300 calorie frozen meal/etc. for lunch. Dinner is probably where I go wrong. But I pride myself on being relatively healthy, consistently. I'm looking for permanent changes, not back and forth metabolic alterations that RUIN my body like they have in the last year. So I'm trying to be consistent. It hasn't worked. Because once my body is stable, it stays the same and doesn't gain or lose weight. I'm kind of at a loss of what to do to get results without throwing everything off like I have been.

I've never hated myself so much when I look in the mirror. So there's my ultra personal rant which probably no one will read. That lets you know that I'm not fishing for compliments. I am genuinely struggling with my self-image and no compliment would help that anyway.

So anyways the gym was good for me this evening. Hopefully now I can eat, shower, relax, read (or finish) my book, and sleep, feeling highly accomplished. 

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I could write a really long blog on re-reading books. But I read books in large part for language. Original, beautiful language, dripping with uniqueness. So I'm reading The Lovely Bones again. I haven't read it in eight years or so. It is even more amazing this time, since the depth of my emotions runs much deeper and my self-awareness runs much higher.

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I feel like I'm exposing myself to a lot of "loss" lately. In the book I'm reading, the movies I'm watching... There's this pattern of deep sadness that I'm exposing myself to. Yesterday it really got to me. I was fasting though, and am probably PMSing. But The Greatest was a fantastic movie, and I wouldn't take back my watching it yesterday for anything. I just feel for characters of all sorts... That's probably why I love books and movies so much--being able to feel and experience through others, and being able to learn from that, and empathize with it.

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Ramble, ramble, ramble. I haven't made a regular habit of writing, and my patriarchal blessing reminded me that I am "blessed with the gift of writing." So it's just gotta happen, even if no one reads it. :)

Shower time. (sing it, like "hammertime.")

Love.

2 comments:

Rachel said...

Hmmmm, slit his throat...can I be the one to catch him?

Not to be violent or anything.

Cara & Clarence Jessop said...

Sounds like me, you, and rach need have to have a self-appreciation night. Including Red Robin and Coldstone and all that good stuff. Us girls are way too hard on ourselves.