Cold, Dark Mornings
Mornings are darker now even though it gets darker earlier. I'd think it'd get lighter earlier at night, but I guess I just don't understand our solar system.
I wake up initially really anxious that it's still dark outside. I don't want to go to school. I want to keep sleeping.
When I walk outside I'm reminded of how much I like cold, dark mornings. I remember being maybe ten years old. My daddy would come in on Saturday morning at 4 AM when it was dark and cold outside, to wake me up to go fishing.
I'd get dressed in my ugliest clothes--for fishing was not a "cute" or "clean" activity. I'd jump in my dad's white F-150, and we'd head to AM/PM at the Chevron gas station. If my brother was with us, we'd all go in and get hot chocolate and pick something out for breakfast.
I always liked going with my daddy because he would spoil us. We could get whatever we wanted, and he always seemed happy to get us everything we chose.
We'd drive an hour or so, depending on where we went. Sometimes it was Perris. Sometimes it was Guasti. I think my fondest memories are at Guasti. It'd be really cold, usually. I could see my breath. I'd breathe out really hard on purpose just so I could see my breath linger and then evaporate away.
I remember being a little six year old with a net, doing my own fishin' for minnows. I'd lay the net down, wait for lots of them to swim over it, and scoop them up. I'd put them all in a ziplock bag with water that my parents had brought for me. Then we brought them home and put them into whatever water device my dad had in the backyard at the time. At one point, it was a wine-barrel waterfall. And now it's a pond in the back corner.
I remember that when I caught a lot of minnows, they had bred and bred. Generations later, the ones I caught ended up with big, beautiful, colorful, fancy tails. We had a really bad storm once, and the wind came, and then all my cute fish were gone.
When I wake up anxious, all it takes is for me to walk outside. Then I am flooded with memories of early-morning hot chocolate and fishing with my dad. I hope my husband provides these kinds of memories for my kids.
I wake up initially really anxious that it's still dark outside. I don't want to go to school. I want to keep sleeping.
When I walk outside I'm reminded of how much I like cold, dark mornings. I remember being maybe ten years old. My daddy would come in on Saturday morning at 4 AM when it was dark and cold outside, to wake me up to go fishing.
I'd get dressed in my ugliest clothes--for fishing was not a "cute" or "clean" activity. I'd jump in my dad's white F-150, and we'd head to AM/PM at the Chevron gas station. If my brother was with us, we'd all go in and get hot chocolate and pick something out for breakfast.
I always liked going with my daddy because he would spoil us. We could get whatever we wanted, and he always seemed happy to get us everything we chose.
We'd drive an hour or so, depending on where we went. Sometimes it was Perris. Sometimes it was Guasti. I think my fondest memories are at Guasti. It'd be really cold, usually. I could see my breath. I'd breathe out really hard on purpose just so I could see my breath linger and then evaporate away.
I remember being a little six year old with a net, doing my own fishin' for minnows. I'd lay the net down, wait for lots of them to swim over it, and scoop them up. I'd put them all in a ziplock bag with water that my parents had brought for me. Then we brought them home and put them into whatever water device my dad had in the backyard at the time. At one point, it was a wine-barrel waterfall. And now it's a pond in the back corner.
I remember that when I caught a lot of minnows, they had bred and bred. Generations later, the ones I caught ended up with big, beautiful, colorful, fancy tails. We had a really bad storm once, and the wind came, and then all my cute fish were gone.
When I wake up anxious, all it takes is for me to walk outside. Then I am flooded with memories of early-morning hot chocolate and fishing with my dad. I hope my husband provides these kinds of memories for my kids.
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I love you,
Mommy