A Rough Week
Ashleigh says she thinks my tinnitus is mostly activated by stress and also by the chakra that’s affected when I’m not expressing my true feelings.
I’ve known for many years that I need to write in order to feel like a balanced and stable person. But because it takes time and energy, pulls me out of survival mode, if you will, I don’t do it.
So I just wanted to write about my awful week in hopes that it will help me sleep better tonight.
Sunday wasn’t too bad. I did wake up with terrible tinnitus; it made it hard to hear just about anything, especially when sounds like water or the ice maker were blocking someone talking. I taught my lesson at church with my new projector. Next time I need to bring a sheet to hang over the chalkboard, because the cinder block wall is not going to cut it. That day was actually a good day, even though the tinnitus was bad. I got to watch Nightmare Before Christmas and Monsters, Inc., and I went on two walks. I even did a little bit of meal prepping.
Monday though, I walked into the office and realized the worst: I had left my laptop at home in Sandy. I took it home over the weekend in case I’d need it for an Adobe InDesign class I was taking. So we were off to an immediately excellent start. Thankfully there was an extra laptop I could use for the day.
But then, I entered the throes of quarterly reporting in the real estate investment industry. There are at least three projects I have to do right now, and I’m having a hard time keeping them all straight, and can’t for the life of me remember what files and emails are for what projects. It’s all a huge messy jumble. Let’s ice this cake, shall we? Both of my bosses are traveling to properties this week, meaning they’re not really available to show me what I need to do, or to answer questions quickly. That’s not to say they haven’t been answering texts and emails, but it hardly feels efficient when I have to stop and wait to hear back from them on a question so that I don’t move forward doing things the wrong way. I actually copied the completely wrong spreadsheets into one of the workbooks I was working on; that’s 25 properties’ sheets copied and pasted that I have to completely do over.
My work computer is super slow, too. It was freezing up, and it does this often especially with Excel. Things that really should just take me a couple of minutes take me a whole lot longer.
I was PMSing bad, was super emotional, and just really wanted to go home. I had a great date planned for that night—dinner and Cornbelly’s. But the rain had other plans for us. So we ate dinner somewhere and then came back to my place and watched a movie. I am grateful Monday ended well. But it was a rough one.
Tuesday we were off to yet another fun start. I realized that some of my Amazon packages were supposedly “handed directly to a resident,” delivered on Sunday. Curious. No resident in my home received any packages.
I called Amazon straightaway and spoke with an outsourced woman whom I had a hard time understanding. She said that because the packages show delivered, she could only re-send me two of the four items, and would have to refund the rest. That literally makes no sense to me. You have no signature or picture proving that I got my package. But now I have to go through this ordeal? OK cool. So she said she would re-send Rising Strong by Brene Brown, my hero. And she also said she would re-send a game I’ve had on my wish list for years now: Speak Out. Side note: if you’re fun enough to want to play the game with me please let me know so I can plan something.
So I get my confirmation email. She sent me the book, but not the game. Um? OK.
I then decide to get on chat. There’s at least a record of chat conversations. I explain the situation to him, told him she sent me a replacement book but not the game. He made it easy and said he had my back. He ordered the game for me. However, I received an email from Amazon saying that I would have to return my original item within 30 days in order not to be charged. Basically, he put the thing in as an exchange, not as a re-send. Panicked, not wanting to be charged for not returning the “original item” that I never received, I got on chat ONCE AGAIN.
Home girl was nice but not super helpful. She ended up telling me that she would cancel the item, refund me, and that I could re-order it with my card. But the game arrived today. I’m still confused as to what happened. I’d better not be charged in 30 days.
So that was my Tuesday, up until around 11am. Fun times. Also, when I get stressed and angry, I get really sweaty, which isn’t helped by the fall clothes I’m wearing lately.
Tuesday’s work was a little smoother and more efficient than Monday, though that’s the day I found out I had copied the wrong files. I had a brief meltdown, like maybe 30 seconds. I had to walk myself through some breathing both Monday and Tuesday.
I’d like to say Tuesday got better. Thankfully my plasma donation did go well, though it took a long time. But my Tuesday evening dessert plans were canceled due to my friend having a family emergency.
Thankfully I was able to find another friend to go with me for dessert. I had fun chatting with Kristine. She’s such a great person. And Waffle Love is the best. I came home and watched the Walking Dead episode from Sunday—did my best to make the night turn out well.
Yesterday was a lot smoother at work. I found a groove and almost finished one of my major projects. Unfortunately, my Wednesday night plans also got canceled due to my friend being super sick. I was able to convince my mom to fill in. But first I made the dumb mistake of going a couple miles out of the way to Trader Joe’s for a couple of items. They didn’t have what I went for, so that was a royal waste of time. Even a few minutes of delays makes a huge difference in terms of traffic. I didn’t even get home until almost 6pm, and I was super hungry because I saved up for dinner.
So I picked up my ma, we went to Pizza Studio, and had a really good, short time at Cornbelly’s. Mom did her gemstone mining. We watched a stunt show called the Nerveless Nocks, and of course we watched the pig races. Again, thankfully, the day turned out well. Even better because my man friend came over after work, and we watched some Parks & Rec.
Today, work was even smoother. I did some work on our quarterly report and went over a lot of it with the patient pro, Deedee. The tentative plans I had for the evening fell through. I’m honestly a little bit relieved, because I feel physically awful and emotionally exhausted. Making a new friend in this state doesn’t feel doable right now.
I left work to get to the plasma center, where I was slightly early. My donation was an utter disaster. She missed the stick. The blood return failed, hurt my arm terribly, and blood dripped everywhere. They had to return my blood to me if I didn’t want to be deferred from donating for eight weeks. Thankfully, my second stick (in my right arm) was good. I was able to get my blood back and finish the donation as well. Hoping that my bruise won’t be completely out of control. But having both arms out of commission makes it hard to text or do much of anything. I couldn't make sugar cookies like I had planned to tonight.
I just feel like I’ve done my best to roll with the punches this week without having a complete meltdown. Honestly, a 30 second meltdown on Tuesday, and a close one on Monday, is nothing compared to the stress I’ve felt and number of things I feel have gone awry this week. I also haven’t missed a run, and I cross-trained this morning because I haven’t lifted weights in way too long. I just really think I've done a good job keeping it together, trying to turn trying situations into positives. I didn't let canceled plans ruin my nights, I still did what I needed to get done, and I trusted that things would get better rather than expecting that the next day would be another bad one (which, let's be honest, it often was).
Yesterday, I felt pretty sick and shaky. My body temperature was all over the place; I kept sweating at random moments. Today, I’ve struggled with the other discomfort that comes with that time of the month, but my emotions seem to have leveled out from the previous couple of days.
Thankfully, I got my Rising Strong book in the mail yesterday, three other items at work today, and one more item at home today. I just have one more item to get before I’ve recovered my Amazon order, and that will come on Monday.
I’m really grateful to have a job to be stressed over, to have supportive and helpful bosses and coworkers, to have friends to fill in when others can’t make it, to have someone to text all my crap to who doesn’t judge me as a miserable psycho, and to have nights of rest. I realize my problems this week are mostly first world problems. I have great health and know great people. Lastly I am thankful for written expression, and the solace it offers me.
I'm going to finish up Riverdale and head to bed before 10pm for a change.
I’ve known for many years that I need to write in order to feel like a balanced and stable person. But because it takes time and energy, pulls me out of survival mode, if you will, I don’t do it.
So I just wanted to write about my awful week in hopes that it will help me sleep better tonight.
Sunday wasn’t too bad. I did wake up with terrible tinnitus; it made it hard to hear just about anything, especially when sounds like water or the ice maker were blocking someone talking. I taught my lesson at church with my new projector. Next time I need to bring a sheet to hang over the chalkboard, because the cinder block wall is not going to cut it. That day was actually a good day, even though the tinnitus was bad. I got to watch Nightmare Before Christmas and Monsters, Inc., and I went on two walks. I even did a little bit of meal prepping.
Monday though, I walked into the office and realized the worst: I had left my laptop at home in Sandy. I took it home over the weekend in case I’d need it for an Adobe InDesign class I was taking. So we were off to an immediately excellent start. Thankfully there was an extra laptop I could use for the day.
But then, I entered the throes of quarterly reporting in the real estate investment industry. There are at least three projects I have to do right now, and I’m having a hard time keeping them all straight, and can’t for the life of me remember what files and emails are for what projects. It’s all a huge messy jumble. Let’s ice this cake, shall we? Both of my bosses are traveling to properties this week, meaning they’re not really available to show me what I need to do, or to answer questions quickly. That’s not to say they haven’t been answering texts and emails, but it hardly feels efficient when I have to stop and wait to hear back from them on a question so that I don’t move forward doing things the wrong way. I actually copied the completely wrong spreadsheets into one of the workbooks I was working on; that’s 25 properties’ sheets copied and pasted that I have to completely do over.
My work computer is super slow, too. It was freezing up, and it does this often especially with Excel. Things that really should just take me a couple of minutes take me a whole lot longer.
I was PMSing bad, was super emotional, and just really wanted to go home. I had a great date planned for that night—dinner and Cornbelly’s. But the rain had other plans for us. So we ate dinner somewhere and then came back to my place and watched a movie. I am grateful Monday ended well. But it was a rough one.
Tuesday we were off to yet another fun start. I realized that some of my Amazon packages were supposedly “handed directly to a resident,” delivered on Sunday. Curious. No resident in my home received any packages.
I called Amazon straightaway and spoke with an outsourced woman whom I had a hard time understanding. She said that because the packages show delivered, she could only re-send me two of the four items, and would have to refund the rest. That literally makes no sense to me. You have no signature or picture proving that I got my package. But now I have to go through this ordeal? OK cool. So she said she would re-send Rising Strong by Brene Brown, my hero. And she also said she would re-send a game I’ve had on my wish list for years now: Speak Out. Side note: if you’re fun enough to want to play the game with me please let me know so I can plan something.
So I get my confirmation email. She sent me the book, but not the game. Um? OK.
I then decide to get on chat. There’s at least a record of chat conversations. I explain the situation to him, told him she sent me a replacement book but not the game. He made it easy and said he had my back. He ordered the game for me. However, I received an email from Amazon saying that I would have to return my original item within 30 days in order not to be charged. Basically, he put the thing in as an exchange, not as a re-send. Panicked, not wanting to be charged for not returning the “original item” that I never received, I got on chat ONCE AGAIN.
Home girl was nice but not super helpful. She ended up telling me that she would cancel the item, refund me, and that I could re-order it with my card. But the game arrived today. I’m still confused as to what happened. I’d better not be charged in 30 days.
So that was my Tuesday, up until around 11am. Fun times. Also, when I get stressed and angry, I get really sweaty, which isn’t helped by the fall clothes I’m wearing lately.
Tuesday’s work was a little smoother and more efficient than Monday, though that’s the day I found out I had copied the wrong files. I had a brief meltdown, like maybe 30 seconds. I had to walk myself through some breathing both Monday and Tuesday.
I’d like to say Tuesday got better. Thankfully my plasma donation did go well, though it took a long time. But my Tuesday evening dessert plans were canceled due to my friend having a family emergency.
Thankfully I was able to find another friend to go with me for dessert. I had fun chatting with Kristine. She’s such a great person. And Waffle Love is the best. I came home and watched the Walking Dead episode from Sunday—did my best to make the night turn out well.
Yesterday was a lot smoother at work. I found a groove and almost finished one of my major projects. Unfortunately, my Wednesday night plans also got canceled due to my friend being super sick. I was able to convince my mom to fill in. But first I made the dumb mistake of going a couple miles out of the way to Trader Joe’s for a couple of items. They didn’t have what I went for, so that was a royal waste of time. Even a few minutes of delays makes a huge difference in terms of traffic. I didn’t even get home until almost 6pm, and I was super hungry because I saved up for dinner.
So I picked up my ma, we went to Pizza Studio, and had a really good, short time at Cornbelly’s. Mom did her gemstone mining. We watched a stunt show called the Nerveless Nocks, and of course we watched the pig races. Again, thankfully, the day turned out well. Even better because my man friend came over after work, and we watched some Parks & Rec.
Today, work was even smoother. I did some work on our quarterly report and went over a lot of it with the patient pro, Deedee. The tentative plans I had for the evening fell through. I’m honestly a little bit relieved, because I feel physically awful and emotionally exhausted. Making a new friend in this state doesn’t feel doable right now.
I left work to get to the plasma center, where I was slightly early. My donation was an utter disaster. She missed the stick. The blood return failed, hurt my arm terribly, and blood dripped everywhere. They had to return my blood to me if I didn’t want to be deferred from donating for eight weeks. Thankfully, my second stick (in my right arm) was good. I was able to get my blood back and finish the donation as well. Hoping that my bruise won’t be completely out of control. But having both arms out of commission makes it hard to text or do much of anything. I couldn't make sugar cookies like I had planned to tonight.
I just feel like I’ve done my best to roll with the punches this week without having a complete meltdown. Honestly, a 30 second meltdown on Tuesday, and a close one on Monday, is nothing compared to the stress I’ve felt and number of things I feel have gone awry this week. I also haven’t missed a run, and I cross-trained this morning because I haven’t lifted weights in way too long. I just really think I've done a good job keeping it together, trying to turn trying situations into positives. I didn't let canceled plans ruin my nights, I still did what I needed to get done, and I trusted that things would get better rather than expecting that the next day would be another bad one (which, let's be honest, it often was).
Yesterday, I felt pretty sick and shaky. My body temperature was all over the place; I kept sweating at random moments. Today, I’ve struggled with the other discomfort that comes with that time of the month, but my emotions seem to have leveled out from the previous couple of days.
Thankfully, I got my Rising Strong book in the mail yesterday, three other items at work today, and one more item at home today. I just have one more item to get before I’ve recovered my Amazon order, and that will come on Monday.
I’m really grateful to have a job to be stressed over, to have supportive and helpful bosses and coworkers, to have friends to fill in when others can’t make it, to have someone to text all my crap to who doesn’t judge me as a miserable psycho, and to have nights of rest. I realize my problems this week are mostly first world problems. I have great health and know great people. Lastly I am thankful for written expression, and the solace it offers me.
I'm going to finish up Riverdale and head to bed before 10pm for a change.
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