January GBOMB
Good
AJ. Always AJ. He temporarily potty trained himself for the night time, but we'll have to go back to diapers as he's not waking up dry most mornings. I will say, it's often a small amount of leaking, like he stops himself. Other times we've had full blown accidents in the crib. His language progress is blowing me away. He has started saying the words to his favorite songs, like today he said, "Mr. Sun behind the tree." I love to catch him reading in his room. Dad is still his favorite. He's started saying, "thank you mom" and "thank you dad." In January for the first time he said, "yuh you mom." He just signs when he tells us he loves us, so to have him say it out loud was a big deal! He asks to take a bath every day. Just so many big milestones, and his learning is so rapid. It blows my mind.
Progress on goals. I'm just really proud of the work I put into the month of January.
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| I'm way ahead on my reading goal. I even have been reading paperbacks at bedtime. |
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| My screen time is way down, thanks to downtime and app limits. |
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| I've meditated and done breathing every night. |
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| I increased my move goal and had a perfect month of closing all three rings. |
Fake spring. I cannot believe the unseasonably warm weather we've had. I took AJ outside on those days and just did my best to soak it up. I have a very hard time in the winter, so the warm days have been a balm.
Check-in. Matthew and I had our first couples check in of the year this past Sunday, January 28. It was so good. I'm ready for more.
Robovac. I run my little vacuum every night after AJ goes to bed. It makes me feel like my home is cleaner throughout the week.
Savings options. I called my bank on January 29 because I had two (and later found two more) fraud charges on my account. I was so frustrated having to get a new debit card and update all my payment options. But the lady on the phone was so helpful. She recommended a 6 month CD for some of my savings goals, and also a money market account for a more fluid savings option. She got me all set up, I transferred the money over, and we are off and running. I'm excited to make some more money with my accounts that were just sitting there accumulating such small amounts. It also made me go in to all my accounts and be sure I wasn't paying more for things than I needed to be; I downgraded our Disney+ and canceled Apple TV.
Bad
Work (for a couple weeks). Work was so busy for a little stint there that I left work and cried more than once this month. It finally calmed down. And the replacement for the assistant has finally been filled. I am so ready to not do two jobs. I also don't love having to do a half day on Friday. I want Fridays off like I used to have, but I cannot do a 4x10. It's too much, and I'd never see my son or get to work out.
Early wake ups. I want to get up before 6:00 but only to exercise without my child. When he is the reason I'm waking up, I'm grouchy about it. And also, the early wake ups have been frequent due to potty training. I think he has to go potty, so he wakes up. Once he's up, I can't go back to sleep; I'm too anxious.
Being inside. I just have not been great about getting AJ (and myself) outside on the cold and cloudy days. I know it is important. But it's hard. I hate that he's cooped up because of me. Just another reason to get a home with a yard.
Shows. I haven't finished the final season of Riverdale because I have not been enjoying it. But I don't want to start another show until I finish Riverdale. So frustrating.
On My Brain
Ageing. I genuinely have never struggled with birthdays. I don't think I was pumped to turn 30. But the older I get, the more I embrace age, the more comfortable I am in my skin, and the more I like who I am. I'm grateful to wake up each day with a healthy body. When I say I'm "old," relative to some younger friends I have, I don't really mean it disparagingly. I don't think being old is bad. I definitely have felt "behind" on a lot of things in life--marriage, starting a family. It's hard not to feel that way growing up in the LDS church and being surrounded by young parents. I also have felt like I've slowed down. Things hurt. I don't have the energy I had 10 years ago. But all this just makes me more determined to keep taking care of my body, to make ageing a smoother and easier process.
My path. I just feel like such an imposter all of the time. I got certified in pre and postnatal coaching as a CEU for my personal training certification. I took a doula class. I've really not done much with either of these things. I am almost done creating a pregnancy lifting program, which I'm excited to do myself someday. I'm just trying to find my place and where I can add value and help women. I just feel stuck.
TTC. I don't really talk about this with many people. And I'm fairly calm about this whole second attempt we're making. I am not in a rush in terms of appreciating a bigger gap between kids. But I also have to stave off thoughts of wondering if something is wrong, if we're "trying hard enough," etc. It's always a mind game somehow. But I am proud of how much calmer I am this time around.
Sleep. I need to do better getting to bed earlier. My phone downtime has helped considerably. But even then I find ways to dilly dally and not turn off my light till 10:15 or 10:30. There's no reason for it. I need more sleep, especially with AJ waking up so stupid early with the potty training thing. But after the evening sprint, I just want to take my sweet time doing whatever I feel like doing.
Gym. I have let my Vasa fees reactivate. I'm contemplating getting back in the gym since I'm up at 5:00 anyway, with or without AJ. Just something I'm thinking about.
Home improvements. I am sure this has been in more than one GBOMB. We desperately need a new water heater. We need a new furnace motor at a minimum. Other home projects are needed: painting cabinets, replacing light fixtures, adding cabinets above the washer/dryer, and replacing flooring. It's overwhelming.
The cost of care. I talk often with a friend about how finding a practitioner who is focused on healing instead of a bandaid solution is not attainable. Getting care that solves the problem (and puts work on us as the patients) is expensive and inaccessible. It's just frustrating because I feel like other financial priorities come before my health.
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