May GBOMB

Good

My sweet son. I love the way he says, "hi mom," all throughout the day. We had a moment on May 31 that he insisted I come sit with him on the couch. I stopped what I felt like I needed to be doing and went and sat. He covered himself with a blanket, lay his head on my thigh, and just talked softly to himself for probably ten minutes. I touched his little body, gently squeezing his leg, rubbing his back, and finger combing his hair. It was such a good moment.

Zoo pass. Just really grateful we have that and can go and spend a couple hours and not feel pressed to see it all. AJ asks all the time to go to the zoo.

Grilling season. Matthew made us burgers. I made kielbasa. I love grilled vegetables and am excited.

Work. I'm just grateful I have a steady job, work with great people, and genuinely enjoy what I do. We put on our second Leadership event of 2024 this past week, and it was so good. I love being around people who want to grow.

Weight lifting. I'm coming up on my fifth month of Fitbliss workouts. Some are brutal. But some are fun. And I love challenging myself and feeling stronger.

Bad

Neck pain. It's been really bad this week. Just so over it.

Allergies. AJ and I both have this terrible dry cough and runny nose. And that's it. It started with sneezing. It feels a lot like allergies, since it's really not escalating. It's just been miserable. Poor guy comes up to me and says "wipe a nose."

TTC. Been on this fertility tea, Vitex, and progesterone cream protocol for a few cycles now. No luck for us. While we have skipped a month or two, we've been trying since September. It's taking longer than I expected. And I am doing ok keeping perspective and trusting the timing of things. But it still stinks.

Solo parenting. I manage a lot of evenings and weekends almost completely alone, home, animals, and child. Cleaning, shopping, laundry, all meals, cleanups, baths, and bedtimes. It is hard. And it's hard not to wish things were different. That's all I will say about it.

On My Brain

Home update. We are embarking on a home improvement journey this next week. It is almost all I can think about. I'm trying really hard not to stress. But it's hard not knowing what to expect. Also packing up all our stuff like we are moving but then not actually moving... sucks.

Role of parents. My good friend Kelsey brought up the topic of parent child relationships in adulthood. It is on my brain still. How do I want or hope to show up for my kids when they're grown? How will our relationship be similar or different?

Staying home. Obviously we are trying for a second child and aren't having much luck. But I think a lot about how I most likely won't get to be home with my kids during the years I feel are most important to do so. I like working. But I wanted to be home with my kids when they're little, and go back to work when they were in school. It just feels like that'll never happen.

The economy. Is anyone NOT thinking about this? I'm a very savvy and aware shopper. I know lunch meat was $1.99 before Covid. It is now anywhere from $5-7. For lunch meat. Today I got some "on sale" for $2.99. What is this life? Will we ever be able to afford a single family home? Will we ever be able to live on one income?

My body. I generally try to think less about it. But I'm just not feeling super comfortable in my skin and am torn on what to do about it.

The bear. "As a woman walking alone in a forest, would you rather encounter a bear or a man?" My husband recently said, "I am starting to understand why so many women would choose the bear."

Dr. Lund and the mental load. I want him to revisit his For All Eternity lecture series with an improved understanding and acknowledgement of the mental load, especially in homes with two partners who work outside the home. So many of his teachings are helpful. But so many of them don't acknowledge the "make me a list" issue as problematic. And it is problematic.

Parenting books. I'm listening to so many. And I just am trying to figure out the "best" way to do things. It's hard.