October GBOMB

Good

Weather. I really appreciated October weather this year. It was super mild and nice with a good amount of gloomy days. It did get a little cold in the last week. But really it was such a nice month.

Colors. I try to notice. I don't always do a good job. But I love the colors of fall.

Cornbelly's. What a fun month. We got to go to Cornbelly's three times in October and then on November 1 for the last time. I would've liked to go more, but the weather interfered in the last week. It was fun to see AJ do more and be into more things. I actually got to sit back and watch him a lot. Anytime he can run himself ragged while I watch is a good time.

Disneyland. I am counting it as good even though it honestly felt harder than it felt fun. It was so crowded. The security to get in was frustrating. I don't know. It was fun to see AJ light up, but it was mostly over balloons and Mickey ears. Maybe it'll be better when we have to actually pay for his admission. But our trip to CA was so good. It was nice to be out of the rigmarole of life and spend time with my dad. The weather was glorious, and I loved the foggy mornings.

Halloween. Who doesn't love it? It's the best. AJ as Eddie Munson though. Come on.

Consistency. I just feel proud of my consistency with lifting and activity.

Mom holiday. I took a day off work and did things I love: workout, reading at a cafe, massage, movie theater, and acupuncture. It was glorious.

Bad

Fertility. Another month has come and gone with early spotting and no pregnancy. We do have some next steps, but it is frustrating to have it be this difficult.

Naps. We've had our first taste of napless days in October. He does ok up until bedtime. Then he's very emotional and losing his mind. He likes naps. But lately sometimes he's just not tired enough to take one. I was prepared for this to happen. But it still stinks.

On My Brain

Toddlerhood. AJ has big tantrums pretty regularly. He doesn't listen. He is climbing on counters. And overnight he got WAY more curious and has been compulsively opening every drawer and cabinet that he can. All the normal toddler things. It is hard to regulate myself and not get frustrated. I know it's all developmentally important. So I'm just always trying to check myself. 

Fertility. Genuinely always on my mind. I'm either thinking about spotting and my period or planning when we should try or thinking about what else I can possibly do and wondering if it is somehow my fault. It's just a lot. It never lets up.

Work. I love the parts of my work that let me teach in front of people. I want to do more of that. I'm sure there's an opportunity for that. Just have to figure it out.

My phone. I need to do what I did in January. Put it on black and white. Set realistic limits. Stop looking at my phone after a certain point at night. I know it is not good for me. And I worry about my son seeing me on it.