January GBOMB

Good

My new job. There are just way too many good things about it to list. But a few things worth mentioning are my awesome manager and team. The company culture. Awesome benefits. And just being seen for what I bring to the table; I've already been asked to present on the 4 Tendencies to some of our HR team. I am just really grateful to be there.


Sunshine collective. A friend of mine started a sunshine collective in November with a challenge to get outside 100 days from November to March. I got outside every single day in January, and I am really proud of that.

Red light. I got myself a red light panel that came a little bit before Christmas. I've been very consistently using it at night. Then I went and bought a much smaller portable panel to use because getting both panels from Hooga was still cheaper than just ONE from Lumebox. I am interested to see how it feels when spring comes around, if I will feel a really big shift like I usually do, or if it won't be as dramatic because red light helped with my mood? No matter what, I really enjoy using it. I do feel like it helps my mood in general.

We've had AJ put his burn owie on it.

AJ. We have big toddler moments of course, but overall I still just really enjoy him and appreciate the stage that he's at. He is so funny.

TTC break. We have had to pause our efforts until I will qualify for FMLA. A mental break has been kind of nice.

Lifting. I've been back in the gym this month and have really enjoyed it. I don't love waking up at 5am. And it's not easy for me, contrary to what others may think. But it's been worth it. And I am going to embark on a power lifting journey with a meet hopefully in May or June. Excited to try new things. Ready to fail some lifts so I can get stronger.


Bad

Illness. AJ and I spent the last week of January with a cold. And we have now started the first day of February with it lingering.

Cold. I just feel like we have been inside a lot, not taking AJ out. It's hard when it is dark and cold, and the playground is all wet. I'm excited for it to warm up.

My phone. I just want to put it down and away more often. I want to sleep better. I want to be a more attentive mom.

Eternal January. I just can't figure out why this month felt so long and drawn out. It feels like I started the month in such a different place than I ended it in. And it wasn't a bad month. Just so long. I was so ready for it to be over!


On My Brain

Crying. With my focus this year being on feeling and healing, I have noticed the amount of times I repress tears or any negative feelings in general. It is hard to be aware of, and hard to allow all of it because I just have things that I need to get done. Instagram seems to know what my goals are because a lot of really relevant content is coming up in my feed, especially related to the Enneagram and how my type deals with feelings.

Laughter. I have noticed that I don't laugh very easily or very often. I'm trying to think of ways I can remedy this because I know how good laughter is for us.

Parenting. AJ has some candy from Halloween that he asks for almost every day. I started a new expectation where he needs to tidy his bedroom before I will give him one. There was a lot of resistance for about a week, and now I don't even have to say anything. He just knows what to do. I also am starting a new expectation where he needs to read a book before we put on a show or movie. We got a lot of pushback at first, but now he knows what to do. I just wanted to record this as a reminder to myself that things are always harder before they are easier, and it is worth pushing through with the expectation. (I also know he's an easier kid than most and will not be able to compare my experience with him to any future kids we hope to have.)

My mom. Some things have surfaced this month that are really heavy. It has shifted our lives in terms of care for AJ. Implementing loving boundaries and holding them even when it's very inconvenient for us has been hard. But I feel peace about how we are handling it. I am cautiously optimistic for positive changes but know it will be a slow process.

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