I'm Stuck :(
Well, I've been sticking to my diet pretty well, actually, given the circumstances that have arisen. On Saturday Tanner, Tanner's parents, Cody, and I all went to see Indiana Jones. That was really fun. I stuck to my diet quite well, protein and fat counts and all, although I think I was short on my fish oil and Vitamin C which made me feel like a slacker even though it wasn't that bad. On Sunday though, was my carb-up day. I'm supposed to only stick to good carbs--wheat, wheat pasta, fruit, vegetables, etc. I started off pretty good with a bowl of Kashi cereal and half a yogurt. I got home and had some BBQ Fritos, a grilled cheese sandwich (on wheat) and a banana. At my grandma's, I had spaghetti--where I was going to make wheat noodles but grandma seemed hesitant cuz they would take along time, so regular noodles. Hey, they're still complex carbs, right? Geez. I had two slices of garlic toast (26 g carbs total), and salad... But where I cheated was that I had four or five chocolate covered strawberries as well as a slice of chocolate cream pie. I did horrible on my fish oil and Vitamin C, too.
:(
I feel really bad about it. I also feel really bad about not keeping close track of my food anymore on my computer. I was good last week about writing meal times down, meal content, and measurements. These last few days--not so much. I've just been busy but have done a good job of trying to keep up with my meals anyway. I've also gotten a hang of what foods I can eat and how much fat and protein are in them, so counting has gotten less important.
Yesterday was a day off, as were Sunday and Saturday--adding to the difficulty of sticking to a regular/scheduled diet. I got up and lifted and did cardio, of course... I ate my first meal, with my pills, and then I worked on my adolescent literature project with this girl from my class, and prepared two meals for later that day. I went over to Tanner's and hung out, did some Spanish reading, and watched the movie Speak--based on a book that I had read. It was a decent film version of the movie--kind of low-budge. I had my second meal--protein shake with almonds. Mmm.../sarcasm. I went home to make some chicken to use this week... And I had my third meal with my vitamins. I made my last two meals of the day to take with me for after the Death Cab concert or something, but it didn't work out. I wasn't hungry during the show at all, and of course the food was in the car.
So after the show we were of course hungry, and we went to T.G.I. Friday's. I got a cobb salad, but I still feel really bad about it because I didn't take my vitamins with me, and I didn't get my dressing on the side. So it was pretty much smothered in bleu cheese. I know I hadn't eaten my last two meals of the day and so I probably could afford the fat that my diet allows me, but still... I should have had more control over it I think... And there wasn't as much chicken (protein) as I had expected, although there was a boiled egg or two. So for some reason I feel really bad about it, maybe because it was late or something.
Then I went to the gym this morning, and I'm still stuck at where I've been since Friday. I guess that's to be expected, after a slacker Sunday and a late meal on Monday night. But it's hard. This takes self-discipline and preparation and a lot of work and commitment, and I'm still stuck at two pounds lost. I need at least two more this week. I'm trying to keep my spirits up and hope I can do it.
What's making me really upset is that almost two weeks ago I ordered the book for the Fat Smash diet, and it still hasn't gotten here. I looked at my email, and it says to expect it between the 27th and June 6th. Yeah, today's the earliest I should expect it. That's so frustrating. There's no reason a silly book should take more than two weeks to be shipped. I'm thinking if this diet isn't helping me more by the end of the week, I'm going to switch to Fat Smash. It seems healthier, and you have more options. And if I've been able to do THIS silly diet, I can certainly take on the challenge of the other one. I really just want it to be effective, and the Fat Smash diet (by the time you get to the last phase) is a fit-for-life kind of thing--the way you should eat and do things forever, not temporarily for a diet. Switching to Fat Smash after this diet was my plan all along, but after two weeks of near torture, if I haven't lost five pounds, I'm switching.
I was at the gym every day last week but Sunday and will do the same thing this week. I'm trying to look at all that I've accomplished and the level of commitment I've shown, but I'm beating myself up about a lot of things!! It's really frustrating. The salad last night, not eating my two meals, minimal vitamins yesterday and Sunday... Gosh.
In other news... The concert was AMAZING. Tegan and Sara? Freaking AWESOME. I believe I will purchase some of their music sometime soon. Those lesbian Canadians freaking rock it. The great thing about them is that they drew the lesbian crowd. And all of the lesbians there seemed pretty angry! One "couple" that was there had been in line since five in the morning!! And they sat through rain and hail and everything. How horrible. Then Tanner kept talking about how he was sleeping at that time, how he slept till noon (when another lady arrived), that we watched a movie, that we got there at 6 PM, and that we got in for free and were still up at the front. He wasn't being very quiet about it--as you might expect, if you know Tanner. So they started getting pretty angry with him and were talking crap the rest of the night. I'd have been angry too, if I were them, but I also wouldn't have been dumb enough to get there at 5 in the morning. It's simply unnecessary. That couple wasn't so bad--but they seemed to think they were pretty dang hardcore, with their piercings and ugly hair and emo clothes and talking about Marilyn Manson like they know what's up. They weren't very blatant about their orientations.
This other couple, though--wow. They were crazy. They loved T&S of course, that's who they were there for, but they were jumping around like crazies, moshing and stuff. They were deliberately pushing into people, and it was really annoying. It's not as though T&S is all hardcore mosh bouncing music! They were soooo gross and annoying. This guy and his wife right behind Tanner and I were the ones getting shoved, and he was getting really annoyed and basically asked them to stop--of course the girls (the uglier of the two, whom I shall call Ursula) reacted angrily, cussing at him, flipping him off, and pushing him aggressively... They may have even punched his back at one point, all because he didn't want them to keep pushing him, and especially not his wife! He tried to make peace and say, "K you know what? Push me then, but don't push my wife." And Ursula agreed.
I know ALL about loving a band. I know ALL about wanting to move around. I know ALL about being crazy at shows, okay? But it's just not necessary to push people and inconvenience people--your having a good time is not worth more than theirs. And being pushed and shoved and yelled at is definitely not a good time. I really just don't know why both couples seemed to angry and bitter at the world--really. They just kind of radiated negativity and unhappiness.
I'm realizing as I'm writing this that I might sound a little self-righteous. I don't mean to. I'm actually sure that the couple who arrived at 5 AM is probably pretty cool--they seemed reasonable enough, just mad at Tanner for rubbing it in their faces. So I don't mean to sound self-righteous, but it doesn't speak well for an entire community when 4 representatives of it are pretty bitter and aggressive, and likely (for the pushing couple), drunk or high. I was having a hard time understanding their aggression, and it was rubbing off on me, making me aggressive, which I don't like.
In any case, the drama was kind of funny. It was pretty rowdy for a mellow Death Cab and T&S show, but needless to say, I've been through a LOT worse than that--right Raytch? The show was really fun, and I was right up front, typically two or three people back, but usually behind other short girls, so it worked. It was nice getting to see everything. I even brought my glasses, so I really could see details! I'm used to being blocked by tall douchebags who think they should be up front. Tall guys, if you're not protecting girls you're with, stand on the bloody side! You can be up front and on the side and not block people!
Death Cab was so, so good. They played some new stuff but plenty of old as well--Soul Meets Body was a good one! The Sound of Settling was good, Marching Bands of Manhattan was beautiful, Your Heart is an Empty Room (good), Crooked Teeth (fabulous), I Will Follow You Into the Dark (yeah, thanks stupid crowd, for making it so I couldn't hear Ben Gibbard sing the beauty of this song), and others. No Sunshine off their new album was way fun. I loved it. I was very impressed.
I think Ben Gibbard should consider facial hair again.
Another thing that made this show interesting was the 53-year old woman standing at the rail in front of me. On one hand, I liked that she was so short. And on the other, I wished she would just leave me alone. She kept on trying to talk to me, and it was distracting for me to look at her. I'm sorry. I know that's mean, but really. She was a peculiar person. Her favorite band is Relient K. haha. She goes to Warped Tour and pretty much every other concert there is. She said her husband is 60 and doesn't like to go to shows, so she goes by herself. She just kept on talking away, and I was trying to be polite but not conversational.
Really, some of the strangest looking people, crazy/angry lesbians, and rock-loving grandmothers, on top of someone's lingering hair-dye smell, made this show unforgettable. So worth the temporary pain of sore knees and feet.
Back at work, back at school, and back on schedule with this diet, including my vitamins! Here's to week two, hoping for 2-3 more pounds and the receiving of the Fat Smash book in the mail!
You're all in my prayers! Keep me in yours.
:(
I feel really bad about it. I also feel really bad about not keeping close track of my food anymore on my computer. I was good last week about writing meal times down, meal content, and measurements. These last few days--not so much. I've just been busy but have done a good job of trying to keep up with my meals anyway. I've also gotten a hang of what foods I can eat and how much fat and protein are in them, so counting has gotten less important.
Yesterday was a day off, as were Sunday and Saturday--adding to the difficulty of sticking to a regular/scheduled diet. I got up and lifted and did cardio, of course... I ate my first meal, with my pills, and then I worked on my adolescent literature project with this girl from my class, and prepared two meals for later that day. I went over to Tanner's and hung out, did some Spanish reading, and watched the movie Speak--based on a book that I had read. It was a decent film version of the movie--kind of low-budge. I had my second meal--protein shake with almonds. Mmm.../sarcasm. I went home to make some chicken to use this week... And I had my third meal with my vitamins. I made my last two meals of the day to take with me for after the Death Cab concert or something, but it didn't work out. I wasn't hungry during the show at all, and of course the food was in the car.
So after the show we were of course hungry, and we went to T.G.I. Friday's. I got a cobb salad, but I still feel really bad about it because I didn't take my vitamins with me, and I didn't get my dressing on the side. So it was pretty much smothered in bleu cheese. I know I hadn't eaten my last two meals of the day and so I probably could afford the fat that my diet allows me, but still... I should have had more control over it I think... And there wasn't as much chicken (protein) as I had expected, although there was a boiled egg or two. So for some reason I feel really bad about it, maybe because it was late or something.
Then I went to the gym this morning, and I'm still stuck at where I've been since Friday. I guess that's to be expected, after a slacker Sunday and a late meal on Monday night. But it's hard. This takes self-discipline and preparation and a lot of work and commitment, and I'm still stuck at two pounds lost. I need at least two more this week. I'm trying to keep my spirits up and hope I can do it.
What's making me really upset is that almost two weeks ago I ordered the book for the Fat Smash diet, and it still hasn't gotten here. I looked at my email, and it says to expect it between the 27th and June 6th. Yeah, today's the earliest I should expect it. That's so frustrating. There's no reason a silly book should take more than two weeks to be shipped. I'm thinking if this diet isn't helping me more by the end of the week, I'm going to switch to Fat Smash. It seems healthier, and you have more options. And if I've been able to do THIS silly diet, I can certainly take on the challenge of the other one. I really just want it to be effective, and the Fat Smash diet (by the time you get to the last phase) is a fit-for-life kind of thing--the way you should eat and do things forever, not temporarily for a diet. Switching to Fat Smash after this diet was my plan all along, but after two weeks of near torture, if I haven't lost five pounds, I'm switching.
I was at the gym every day last week but Sunday and will do the same thing this week. I'm trying to look at all that I've accomplished and the level of commitment I've shown, but I'm beating myself up about a lot of things!! It's really frustrating. The salad last night, not eating my two meals, minimal vitamins yesterday and Sunday... Gosh.
In other news... The concert was AMAZING. Tegan and Sara? Freaking AWESOME. I believe I will purchase some of their music sometime soon. Those lesbian Canadians freaking rock it. The great thing about them is that they drew the lesbian crowd. And all of the lesbians there seemed pretty angry! One "couple" that was there had been in line since five in the morning!! And they sat through rain and hail and everything. How horrible. Then Tanner kept talking about how he was sleeping at that time, how he slept till noon (when another lady arrived), that we watched a movie, that we got there at 6 PM, and that we got in for free and were still up at the front. He wasn't being very quiet about it--as you might expect, if you know Tanner. So they started getting pretty angry with him and were talking crap the rest of the night. I'd have been angry too, if I were them, but I also wouldn't have been dumb enough to get there at 5 in the morning. It's simply unnecessary. That couple wasn't so bad--but they seemed to think they were pretty dang hardcore, with their piercings and ugly hair and emo clothes and talking about Marilyn Manson like they know what's up. They weren't very blatant about their orientations.
This other couple, though--wow. They were crazy. They loved T&S of course, that's who they were there for, but they were jumping around like crazies, moshing and stuff. They were deliberately pushing into people, and it was really annoying. It's not as though T&S is all hardcore mosh bouncing music! They were soooo gross and annoying. This guy and his wife right behind Tanner and I were the ones getting shoved, and he was getting really annoyed and basically asked them to stop--of course the girls (the uglier of the two, whom I shall call Ursula) reacted angrily, cussing at him, flipping him off, and pushing him aggressively... They may have even punched his back at one point, all because he didn't want them to keep pushing him, and especially not his wife! He tried to make peace and say, "K you know what? Push me then, but don't push my wife." And Ursula agreed.
I know ALL about loving a band. I know ALL about wanting to move around. I know ALL about being crazy at shows, okay? But it's just not necessary to push people and inconvenience people--your having a good time is not worth more than theirs. And being pushed and shoved and yelled at is definitely not a good time. I really just don't know why both couples seemed to angry and bitter at the world--really. They just kind of radiated negativity and unhappiness.
I'm realizing as I'm writing this that I might sound a little self-righteous. I don't mean to. I'm actually sure that the couple who arrived at 5 AM is probably pretty cool--they seemed reasonable enough, just mad at Tanner for rubbing it in their faces. So I don't mean to sound self-righteous, but it doesn't speak well for an entire community when 4 representatives of it are pretty bitter and aggressive, and likely (for the pushing couple), drunk or high. I was having a hard time understanding their aggression, and it was rubbing off on me, making me aggressive, which I don't like.
In any case, the drama was kind of funny. It was pretty rowdy for a mellow Death Cab and T&S show, but needless to say, I've been through a LOT worse than that--right Raytch? The show was really fun, and I was right up front, typically two or three people back, but usually behind other short girls, so it worked. It was nice getting to see everything. I even brought my glasses, so I really could see details! I'm used to being blocked by tall douchebags who think they should be up front. Tall guys, if you're not protecting girls you're with, stand on the bloody side! You can be up front and on the side and not block people!
Death Cab was so, so good. They played some new stuff but plenty of old as well--Soul Meets Body was a good one! The Sound of Settling was good, Marching Bands of Manhattan was beautiful, Your Heart is an Empty Room (good), Crooked Teeth (fabulous), I Will Follow You Into the Dark (yeah, thanks stupid crowd, for making it so I couldn't hear Ben Gibbard sing the beauty of this song), and others. No Sunshine off their new album was way fun. I loved it. I was very impressed.
I think Ben Gibbard should consider facial hair again.
Another thing that made this show interesting was the 53-year old woman standing at the rail in front of me. On one hand, I liked that she was so short. And on the other, I wished she would just leave me alone. She kept on trying to talk to me, and it was distracting for me to look at her. I'm sorry. I know that's mean, but really. She was a peculiar person. Her favorite band is Relient K. haha. She goes to Warped Tour and pretty much every other concert there is. She said her husband is 60 and doesn't like to go to shows, so she goes by herself. She just kept on talking away, and I was trying to be polite but not conversational.
Really, some of the strangest looking people, crazy/angry lesbians, and rock-loving grandmothers, on top of someone's lingering hair-dye smell, made this show unforgettable. So worth the temporary pain of sore knees and feet.
Back at work, back at school, and back on schedule with this diet, including my vitamins! Here's to week two, hoping for 2-3 more pounds and the receiving of the Fat Smash book in the mail!
You're all in my prayers! Keep me in yours.
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