March GBOMB

Good

Zoo pass. We have been to the zoo twice so far this year, and bought our pass on our first visit. AJ has asked to go to the zoo multiple times, but the weather is still spotty. I'm excited for more visits to the zoo. I love how small Hogle zoo is so we can knock it out in a couple of hours. And the pass is nice so we can see whatever we want, and leave and not feel stressed about it. Plus he runs around everywhere. Definitely a worthy investment for us. 

This makes me laugh every time

Weight lifting. I finished March off strong with the Fitbliss at-home workouts. It's been really fun to get to do new workouts and mix things up. It helps me to challenge myself and feel accomplished that I did a hard thing. 

Pelvic floor physical therapy. Honestly, it never is comfortable having medical professionals poke around the private parts. But I've been trying to do some breathing and other things at home that seem to have made a difference for my overall tension and dysfunction. I still pee when I sneeze or cough a lot, but hopefully that will improve with time and effort. 

Traces of baby. AJ is getting better and better at talking, and I'm said we've lost some of his baby words like "tude" instead of "cold." But we still have a few that he's hanging onto. For "hold you," he says, "Howage." For Bruno (from Encanto), he says, "Boombo." Tomatoes are still, "Marens."

March streak. I closed all my Apple watch rings every day in March. I have not missed a day of breathing meditation since January 1. I've continued to read (audiobooks) a ton. I'm almost done with my third paperback of the year. Just proud to feel a little more like myself, doing the things I want and need to do. 

Reiki. I had a reiki session with my sister in law in March. It was truly awesome. I didn't know what to expect, and I didn't go in with much of an intention. But I came out with a lot of things. And one of the most valuable things I came out with was feeling seen. My sister in law is an intuitive person, and we've known each other for a little less than five years. But it is hard to get close in such a large family with chaotic gatherings. So to have her come out of that session understanding certain things about me--strengths, needs, weaknesses--felt like a relief, somehow. I'm grateful she knows how to do this and that she shares it with people. 

Closet clearing. I was stressed and overwhelmed by the task of cleaning out my closet and dresser. But I did it in one night, and took the donation bags to DI the same week. I pulled up, they unloaded the bags, and I drove away. It took only a minute. Now I just need more clothes that fit. 

Easter. AJ enjoyed his basket, and he was so sweet putting his eggs into his cousin's basket. He didn't love gathering eggs at the Draper event, but he caught on at his grandma Dianne's house the next day. It was really fun to watch. 

Bad

Mouth burns. I burned my mouth on English muffin pizzas on March 28. Then I proceeded to assault my mouth with other burns and/or chafing foods. On April 3, the roof of my mouth is still incredibly raw and tender. Drinking anything hurts because the tongue touches the roof of the mouth. Ice cream last night hurt, and the almonds in it were just terrible. I don't like mouth stuff. How will it ever get better if there's always something touching it, and I need to eat? So frustrating. I haven't had a swollen tastebud in a while, thank goodness. 

Toddlerhood. The toddler moods. The emotions are big. The listening is rare. I heard parents when they complained about toddlers. It doesn't make it easier to deal with. He's started objecting to lots of things, and throws his whole body back when I try to carry him. Plus, he feels SO heavy to me now. That doesn't help, obviously. 

Light sleep. I'm often a very light sleeper. AJ will sleep talk or call out in his sleep and wake me up very early. If it's at 5:00, I have a hard time going back to sleep until my alarm. I just get really anxious and can't relax again. It's not my favorite thing. 

Illness. I don't know if I actually was sick in March, or if I just was having allergy symptoms. Nobody around me got sick from me, and the cough started after being outside in the wind. It happens a lot. The wind makes me cough. Then it escalates, and I can't stop coughing. I didn't have a fever. I did have some stuffy/runny nose issues. But otherwise I didn't FEEL sick. So whatever it is--illness or allergies - not my favorite thing about March. 

On My Brain

The reiki session. A few things came out of it. I need to leverage my skill with creating routines and systems to figure out a spiritual practice for myself. There's a need for me to surrender my need to control and trust a higher power. I need to embrace vulnerability, and allow myself to be supported the same way I support others. I have a need for connection, particularly with other women, and I have a need to be heard and understood. I honestly have been overwhelmed with where to even start, as my faith has been in a really weird spot the last few years. Finding something that works for me and feels right is on my brain.

Words. I sometimes call myself old, and a friend of mine called me out, reminding me that words matter. My sister in law Stephanie did a presentation at the retreat about the impact of words in our lives. The concept wasn't new, but it was a much needed reminder. Then I listened to Brene Brown's Power of Vulnerability, which was well-timed after my reiki session, and there's a part in there where Brene talks about scarcity thinking--the words we think about there not being enough (sleep, time, money, etc.). And I've also been re-listening to You Are a Badass, and she talks a lot about the words we use and the energy we attract with those words. I'm getting an ABUNDANCE of reminders about the power of words and language, and the energy they carry. The universe is trying to tell me something, and I'm listening. 

Creativity. Brene Brown's book talks about the importance of creativity, and the deep need humans have to cultivate and create. I've started looking up books that can help me find my creativity, as pure play and creativity are things I deeply struggle with. I've read Bird by Bird and Big Magic which were both on a creativity book list I found, but I may re-read them. Unicorn Space also discusses the importance of it. I'm open to any ideas on how to be more creative. Maybe that's one of the messages I need to reach for in a spiritual practice. 

Goals. I had a goal to pick hiking spots for this year by 3/31. I haven't picked them yet. And I had a goal to try a new restaurant each month. I tried a bunch in January but don't think I tried any new places in March. I also wanted to go on a date quarterly, but I don't think Matthew and I have been on a date this year other than my birthday. I guess we'll count that? 

I'm noticing that myself, my health, my well-being is on my mind a lot lately. I'm sure there's a reason for that. I'm doing what I can to grow, and for me a lot of that has to do with learning how to let others care about me, learning how to relax and play, and learning how to reconnect with a higher power. I feel like this is a pivotal time, so I'm trying to lean into it. 

Onward to longer, warmer days.