June GBOMB

Good

New trainer. I hired a new coach for power lifting. She's a record holding pro, and so far a really great coach. Very organized and responsive. It's been a little discouraging to make so many adjustments to my form that I thought was OK. Plus learning new things like low bar on squats. It's hard to get it all right. What's been really nice is the deload. Last week and this week (6/16-6/27) have been a much lighter load. Lower volume and lower RPE, especially on accessories. It's been SO nice to go easier. She also told me that I'm built for power lifting, so that's cool. 

TESOL. I have finished my TESOL course work for work and have started planning curriculum for our level 2 ESL classes we provide at work. I'm excited to get back in the classroom even though this is slightly outside my experience and wheelhouse. 

Pool days. We've had some cooler weather in the last little bit, and I'm not much of a pool person if it's below 85, so we haven't been going lately. But we did get to the pool a few times in June, and I love the way AJ loves it. 

Eufy. She's back! My Eufy robovac is an absolute life saver, and it's been broken for a couple of months. At the condo, I was using the Eufy in the morning, and this other cheaper one I got in the evening. The newer one is the DUMBEST "smart" vacuum in the world. This thing chronically overcorrects itself, so that it stays in the same small area for way longer than it should. It's hard to explain if you've never watched these work, but when I say it's dumb, trust me. I took the wheels off my Eufy and cleaned out the compartment. It was PACKED with dog fur. Disgusting. After I reassembled it, it still wasn't happy and did a few sad circles and stopped. I thought my fix didn't work. But the next day it had booted itself up at its normal morning time (and got stuck under the couch, where I found it in the evening). I resumed it, and it's been working great for a few days. SO MUCH BETTER than the other vacuum. I am so happy. The amount it picks up every day is embarrassing and horrifying. But maybe with consistent treatment, it'll eventually not be so bad? 

Movies. We saw Elio and How to Train Your Dragon in theaters in June. I LOVED HTTYD, and really liked Elio. AJ is getting better and better at the movies. Sweet boy. 

Bad

Bugs. I don't even know where to begin. The number of beetles/elder bugs and ear wigs we have seen and/or killed in the last three weeks is astronomical. Our landlord says it's on us to take care of it, but that he's "had this problem so many times over the years." OK. I woke up on 6/27 to find one UNDER my water bottle. I had one morning like this: 

And so when I say that the bugs are a problem, I am not being dramatic. There have been ear wigs in the bath with AJ. Ear wigs on the bathroom floor. Ear wigs on the living room carpet. Ear wigs on my slippers. Ear wigs in AJ's silicone cups and straws. Ear wigs in Dexter's dog food. I'm nervous when I turn on lights in the morning, like they're going to scatter like roaches. Matthew sprayed outside AND inside but needs to repeat treatment. It's just insane. It is affecting my sleep and making me feel crazy. Matthew talked to the next door neighbor, and they're having the same struggle. So I'm glad to know it's not just us, though it's a bummer for them too. 

Garden. This is attached to the bug problem. I spent SO many hours planting, weeding, turning over, watering, and caring for my garden at this God forsaken dump of a house. It's been beautiful and has kept me focused on what's good about this temporary hell hole. But the bugs and birds have eaten everything. They've eaten every strawberry and raspberry my plants have grown. They ate all the leaves of my pumpkins and squash. They ate all of my bibb lettuce. I want to cry typing all this out. I did so much work, and so much of it is destroyed. It's mostly magpies who are guilty. So Matthew and I have become magpie deterrent experts. But the things I've tried to do to deter birds don't seem to be working--mesh netting, dummy owls, shiny cellophane tape. We've now started Neem oil, which I think is helping? It's honestly just been so heartbreaking to work so hard and have it all destroyed. I don't know how our ancestors did this just decades ago--planting and harvesting, and having nothing to harvest with pests taking it all. What would they even do, just starve as the birds ate their food?! 

They got so big and awesome, and then they were eaten. 

Sleep. I've been waking up multiple times a night. Full on sitting up in bed, turning on the light. When I wake up, I'm looking for bugs. My subconscious is clearly upset about the infestation. But also I'm way too hot. I cannot get the temperature right in my bedroom. If I sleep with the door open so the swamp cooler stays on, Max comes in and bothers me. If I sleep with the window open and fan on, it's still not cool enough, plus the early morning birds wake me up. I'm using minimal blankets. I have had maybe one night I can remember in the last several weeks that I didn't wake up. I am not OK. 

Tenants. As I explained in my June blog post, one of the new tenants decided it would be OK to shower and sleep at the condo a day earlier than what was agreed upon. I'm still irate about it, and should've come down harder on them for breach of contract, and charged them for the extra day. It doesn't start them off on the right foot AT ALL. And we worked our butts off to make our condo beautiful. Just really hoping they take care of it, but this doesn't bode well.

Camera. After the iPhone update, my out-facing camera stopped working except for in ONE app. It won't work in the camera app or the Instagram app. My selfie camera will work, but only after restarting the app 4-5x. And it crashes while I try to take form videos at the gym. The diagnostic says it's a hardware issue, but it happened after the update. They charged me $180 to replace my camera that THEY broke. I'm so mad.  

Thyroid and hormones. It's been an absolute mess this year! I was normal in January. Then in March my TSH came back crazy high. We bumped up my medication. After follow up blood work, it was too low. We brought meds back down. Just a couple weeks later, TSH blood work was still too low, so we went back to my dose from January. What is happening? My recent blood work also showed high testosterone, which I'm bummed about. I've been taking DHEA to see if it would increase my DHEA-S levels (we want it close to 180 and between 95-270) since my last blood test came in at 99.9. But DHEA can increase testosterone. So we have trade offs. If Testosterone is too high, it can impair later stages of egg maturation, resulting in many immature eggs and irregular ovulation. All this is just so confusing and stressful. 

Work layoffs. There have been several rounds of layoffs at my company. It's been really disheartening and stressful. We've had so many "urgent meetings," and I'm worried every time. I feel like I need to maybe renew my teaching license just in case. It's probably the time since the new school year starts in two months. But I also wonder if there's a market for home schooling moms to send their kids to "school." And wonder if I should have a current teaching license to offer something like that. 

On My Brain

Fertility. As always. I've been spotting on day 23-24 of my cycle for about 18 months now, which has not been normal in my life before. It's been mentally easier because as soon as I see that spotting on day 23, I know "I'm out" for the cycle, and don't have to wait till day 28. This month, I didn't start spotting till day 26. It is wild what those couple of extra days did in making me hopeful. I did reach out to Dr. Stanford with NaPro, and am hopeful he will review all I sent him. I've also been contemplating a parasite cleanse, which is so not like me to consider. But I'm opening up to the idea, and I've seen quite a few people say they struggled to get pregnant for a long time, did a cleanse, and got pregnant right away. Unfortunately, the one I want to do is not cheap. And it requires enemas. Woof. Still, I'll do whatever at this point, and it is cheaper than IVF. 

AJ. I'm always thinking about the cute and funny things he says and does, but then I don't write them down in my note, and I forget by the end of the day. Lately he's been wanting to do "family loves" before I go to work. He stopped his "series kisses" that he would do before I went to work, sadly. I love the way he says, "Guh mowing, mom!" He's been telling me that his room was "TOTALLY DARK!" and the last couple of mornings he has said, "Mom was stressed at me. You closed my curtain and said, 'Go to sleep.'" (I did these things, yes. Need to make sure he knows I am not stressed at him.) Sleep has been an enigma. He won't fall asleep till 9:30 or 10:00 lately, and we get him down by 8:30. I'm just trying to roll with the punches, but part of why I stay up too late is because of how little time I have for myself in the evening. 

Home buying. I know it's like 7 months away, but I want to be thinking about where we want to buy a home. We want a good size yard, which discounts newer builds. We love our commutes to work, but most of both our families are in Utah county - Lehi, Saratoga, Eagle Mountain, and Orem. I really don't want to move to Utah County. Riverton and Herriman feel far away from everything. And Draper feels outside of our price point. I love Sandy because of how close it is to everything--mountains, zoo, downtown, the aquarium, and everything else. Lots to weigh and really wish we had more options financially. Still wondering if we hang onto the condo or sell it so we can move. I really don't want to sell it. 

Fat loss. I've had a calorie cut on my mind in recent months. Partly for vanity, but partly for fertility. I don't love the idea of tracking, and have dabbled in it a few times the last few months. It would be nice to lose some belly fat and maybe increase my chances at conceiving. I don't know. It's on my brain.