Ruthless Provo Rapids

Here I was thinking I was going to have a nice, peaceful day floating on an inner tube down the Provo River... Work on my tan, have good conversations, you know, any person's ideal Saturday...


(Looks so nice and peaceful, doesn't it?)

Well, Tanner and I could only find three tubes. We then faced a disaster trying to figure out how to get them pumped when the dang air things needed 12 hours to charge. Tanner found the manual pump, and he and Cody ended up pumping up the tubes in about five minutes. Very impressive.

We drove up, parked my car, and then crowded me into the back of the LandCruiser under all of the blown up tubes. The boys got the tubes out, and I wriggled out of the car. I saw a sign that said "life jackets required." Oops. We didn't have any life jackets. Meh, we'd be fine--everyone floats the river without a life jacket. So we put our tubes into the water. I got into my tube and was trying to help Tanner by holding his tube for him. Big mistake. He jumped back into his too-full tube with a little too much force and fell backwards into the water, and made me fall out of my tube as well.

This was hilarious at first. Till I realized my two-inch high black sandals would not help me balance on the rocky river bottom. Also till I realized that the river was flowing a lot faster than the speed that would make it even possible for me toget back into my tube.

I started getting pushed down the river at unusual speeds. I was freaking out because I didn't have a life vest, my legs were hitting the rocky bottom, and then at some points I couldn't even reach the bottom. Even if you know how to swim, getting tossed violently around by a river that doesn't care who you are does not mean you'll get out alive. My tube had gone way ahead of us, and Tanner tried to retrieve it for me. Eventually I was past my tube and Cody was trying to pull me out of the water. I was half hanging on his tube, and my legs and feet were going numb. I was so unbelievably scared that little sobs were issuing from my mouth.

I looked back and saw Tanner struggling to hold on to both tubes. Cody and I were finally able to stop at an eddy before a low bridge. We both got on when Tanner yelled at us so that we could catch up to him and get me back on my own tube. The river didn't care about Cody and I and knocked us off the tube when we got under the bridge. The river pushed me into the bridge, knocking my head against it. I was forced under water, completely out of control of my body, and was beyond afraid of what would happen to me. Cody managed to stand up and pull me out, and we sat on the tube together back to back. We got ahead of Tanner once again.

I was trying to laugh at what had happened, but I was very nervous, and I saw Tanner behind us struggling and getting hurt by the rocky bottom. He let out a loud yell of frustration and pain, and finally we were able to stop again. Cody and Tanner held on to the tube and helped me climb back into it. We floated on a little ways. I was crying really hard, and people passing by were looking at me so strangely. If they only knew how scared I was and everything that had happened a few minutes ago, and if only they weren't wearing life vests like ME, they would have understood.

I noticed that Cody and Tanner were a ways ahead of me. I was really nervous at being so far behind them, should something happen again. I guess I sent it out into the universe, because I crashed into a big thicket of sticks on the right side and got knocked off my tube again. Again I was letting out nervous cries, as I had both arms hung over the side of the tube trying to reach Tanner and Cody, my legs tingling in the water. I didn't almost drown, but I could not reach the bottom and could not get back into my tube.

We stopped, and we realized should probably just get out where we were stopped, because guess what? I forgot my keys.

Yep, I forgot my keys up in the LandCruiser, which we'd need to get my Buick back up to the LandCruiser when we finished floating. I'm evidently not very smart. So we were stopped at this mobile home vacation spot. Tanner and I got out, and Cody kept floating. These older men approached us and asked what was wrong. They had retrieved one of Tanner's sandals from the river, which was really nice. And the younger guy, I believe he said his name was Ed, offered to drive us back up to the car so I could get my keys. While we waited for him to get ready, I stood and cried in Tanner's arms. He couldn't understand why I was crying, which I guess is normal for a guy. He had a worse experience than me, trying to control two tubes and catch up to me, but males are also more level headed in these kinds of situations.

After having been knocked out of my tube, pushed into a bridge, and falling out of my tube again and being so far behind, with pain shooting through me and thoughts of drowning crowding my mind, I was a little less than stable. So I stood and sobbed, shaking as Tanner put his arms around me. I wanted to just go home after that and not keep floating down the river. I looked down at my legs and noticed a few scrapes and bruises and realized I had probably been through a lot more than I had actually felt consciously.

Cody walked up and stayed with our tubes. Tanner and I walked shoeless over a long range of tiny, sharp rocks. Ed drove us to the car, which fortunately wasn't very far away, and I got my keys. He was so nice and pleasant. He was from Oceanside, California, which made him instantly cool in my book. :) After getting back to his vacation park, we uttered a thousand thanks yous to Ed. Thank heaven for him. That would have been a really long walk, especially barefoot.

We walked back over the stinging rocks to our tubes. Tanner and Cody decided to give me the tire tube because they are so hard to flip over. The boys let some air out of the other tubes, since they were apparently too full. We all got back in and floated the rest of the way down the river. I was afraid of every jutting tree and thicket, every little rapid, anything that would separate me from Tanner or knock me out of my tube.

But we were safe and got to my car OK. Everything worked out fine and peaceful. I don't even have that great of a tan to show for it. But I do have a bruise on the bottom (and top) of each foot. I have a couple of scrapes and a bruise on my right shin. I have some scratches on my right ankle. I have a big, red scrape on my right thigh. I have a couple bruises (one four inches long) on my left thigh. I also have a big shiner under my left butt cheek. And I have two scratches on my left hip from the annoying tire tube air spout thing. My back hurts pretty bad. Needless to say every little thing I do makes me experience pain in some way.

Tanner has some crazy battlescars of his own as well. Poor lovey.

But I am grateful I am alive, and I am grateful that Tanner got me another tube and looked out for me and took good care of me the rest of the way during our river trip. And many thanks to Cody for his life-saving expertise which we used multiple times. Next time (if there is a next time for me!) I will use a life jacket. They're serious on that sign, guys. Nature has no mercy.