Some Tips for You, the Customer
I've realized there are a lot of things about customers at Blockbuster that irritate my fellow Customer Service Representatives, shift leaders, managers, and me. Let me give you customers a few tips so that you can rest assured that we CSRs won't be making fun of you after you leave.
1. Blockbuster card. Have your Blockbuster card ready. When you're standing in line for 5 minutes, when a 30-minute long line is behind you, or when you know you have a stack of 43 cards to look through, please just be prepared. You bother me when I have to stand there waiting for you to search through the wallet that contains a lifetime of financial records and cards for every place you shop.
2. I am a human. Please HAND me everything. My having to lean three feet across a counter because you are too lazy to extend your arm and meet me halfway frustrates me. Do not set your card on the counter, because then I have a hard time lifting that little laminated piece of paper off the counter.
3. Pay attention. Losing my voice so I can yell to you that "I CAN HELP YOU DOWN HERE!" just doesn't seem worth it to me. I've done this a few times. Since then I've decided that I'll say it once, and if it doesn't matter enough for you to pay attention, then waiting a few more minutes to be helped shouldn't matter to you either.
4. Patience. Wait till I make eye contact. Do not be over-zealous. Just because I am at a computer does not mean I am available to help you.
5. Seal and cut. Seal up your online envelopes and clip your coupons. If you don't, I'll take my sweet time doing all of the things which you failed to do before you came in which means you have to wait a while longer. Please just help things run smoothly, and be ready.
6. Be nice. If you are nice, we will go out of our way to help you. Customers who politely ask if a movie is in the drop box will be the first ones I chase down if the movie does come in in the next few minutes.
7. Learn your ABCs. Movies that have "The" in the title are not in the "T" section. And, believe it or not, the movies are organized alphabetically. Top to bottom, left to right, you get the picture. Making me leave the front to find a movie for you because you don't know that R comes before S is a little bit irritating.
8. Know the rating. Giving credits because you didn't check if the movie went against your "no-rated-R" moral principles before paying for it is against our policy. Also, Mormons, if you didn't check for the movie on the ever-reliable Clearplay before renting it, too bad. Check before you rent. The end.
9. Two-at-a-time. More than one movie fits into the drop box slot. Two at a time goes faster than one at a time, especially if you're returning three seasons of Lost.
10. Remember the title. Do not, I repeat, do NOT bring up the backing/display cards. I'm sure you can manage to remember a title for 7 seconds while you walk up to the front to ask if it's in. If you bring up the backing card, you increase your chances of making us mad, we'll lie and say it's checked out, and give the movie to the next person who asks. The only exceptions to this rule are people who struggle with English and titles that you cannot pronounce.
11. Clean yo' case. If you spill crap on your return movies, clean them off please. Just because your kid got syrup from his Eggos on the Land Before Time doesn't mean that I deserve to be sticky. Paper towel, Windex, spray, wipe, return movie to drop box.
12. Clean yo' movie. When you come to us with a DVD saying that it wouldn't play in your DVD player and kept skipping, and I check the back of it only to find smudgy finger prints... I automatically deem you a lazy moron who is trying to get a free movie. Clean the DVD, dude. I knew this BEFORE working at Blockbuster. Water, alcohol, or Windex, plus a soft towel, should do the trick. Happy cleaning.
13. One call. If we do not have it, and there is a really long line behind you, asking us to call three other Blockbusters will tick us off. I can call one store, or I can give you the phone numbers. Otherwise, get the heck out of line. Kthxbai.
14. Don't be that girl. We do not have One Tree Hill, the Hills, Dawson's Creek, or any other of your ridiculous shows. I don't know why, I don't control those things, but if I did, I still wouldn't carry the shows because it'd be because only ONE type of girl asks if we carry them.
15. Watch your kids. If there's one section I don't like to put movies away, it's the family/kids section because you and your devil children travel like a hurricane through there. We're customer service reps, not babysitters, so get a leash for your kid. Thanks.
16. Help. If you knock a shelf and all its movies down, and I hear you laughing, my alter-ego wants to take over and punch you in the face. When I come to clean it up, the least you can do is help me.
17. Trash. Finding your Cold Stone cups and McDonald's bags and napkins on random shelves in the store makes me wonder if you ever had any parents. There are plenty of trash cans. Utilize them. Just because you're not polluting outside doesn't mean you deserve an in-store maid service.
18. Give them to us. You know how the library says, "Do not reshelve your books?" We feel the same way. Give us what you don't want. Don't leave them in random places or set them in a neat pile of five on the floor (yes, I've had that happen)... Just hand them to us at the front. When someone wants to rent a movie and it's not in its place because you decided to put Ace Ventura over by Schindler's List, we get a little upset. And so do you, when the movie you want is lost because of people like yourself.
19. Slide your card. Yes, there. Do not hand me your debit or credit card. We are a self-service movie store. Don't ask me silly questions either. "Just slide it here?" Well, I'm not sure where else you would slide it, but if you figure something else out, let me know. Follow the instructions on the screen, pay attention, and we're good to go.
20. Do the rewards program. If you rent three times a year, do it. I'm telling you, it's not a scam.
21. No phone numbers. We haven't taken phone numbers in years. Card, ID, a previous rental, or no rentals. If you've forgotten more than once, we won't do you any favors.
22. Bar codes. Let me explain: bar codes belong to particular stores. Bar codes help us keep track of movies. When My Little Pony Princess Parade gets turned in and your cute 3-year old ripped off the bar code, I can't check it in for you. End of story. When you turn in the movies to the wrong Blockbuster, I can't check it in for you. End of story.
23. Late policy. There is a seven day grace period after your due date. Keep it past that date, and it gets sold to the card on your account. You have 30 days to bring it back for a refund and a $1.25 restocking fee. Never mind that it says all of this on the receipt which you are too lazy to read. But when we have had this policy for several years, and you want to know why you owe $2.50 after having movies out for 4 weeks, I lose my patience.
24. Ask again. This isn't really a peeve, but more for your benefit. If a popular movie is checked out, ask us again to check when you leave. Frequently, a movie gets turned in 56 seconds after you asked us for it. Ask again. Politely, and in as non-pushy a way possible.
25. Wait. You are not the most important person in the world. Believe it or not, when I'm helping a customer, I am busy, and you can wait. When I am carrying a stack of 50 movies, there are other CSRs at the front who can answer your questions. Don't be oblivious to the fact that we do, in fact, have other things that we are doing and cannot check the computer for your 80s movie Ski Patrol when we're on the run.
That should do it for now. I'd imagine that I can add more to this list after the next time I work.
Just so you know, my favorite customer ever is genuinely kind and appreciative. If he asks us for a movie, and it comes in after he leaves, we call him to tell him it's in and hold it for him. He brings us ice cream bars and tells us how much he appreciates us. People who go out of their way to show appreciation get a lot more back in the world. So the next time you contemplate leaving your Cold Stone cup next to Hairspray or drop the only copy of The Sandlot off at another part of the store, I hope someone throws ice cream all over your car and that all the movies you want are checked out. Karma.
Here's to your next amazing Blockbuster experience.
Love, Your All-Knowing CSR,
Janae
Addendums after working a slow Saturday night and observing additional things that bother my co-workers:
26. Change. Remember that rule about handing everything to me? The rule stands for money, and especially change. Don't throw your bloody quarters at me when I have my hand out waiting for you to dig seventy-two cents out of your over-sized wallet. Dane Cook has a joke about this. I refer you to him for a more humorous presentation of this topic.
27. Go look. Remember how I told you that the movies are alphabetized? They're also in sections (comedy, action, horror, drama, foreign, special interest, animation, family/kids, and games). When you come up to the front to ask where a movie is, I will gladly tell you. But when you ask me to help you find it when you haven't even tried looking, that gets on my nerves. There are other things I could be doing besides heading toward the genre and alphabetical location of a movie because you're too freaking lazy to go look. Just GO LOOK! If you're having trouble, THEN you can ask.
28. Credit card. New customers: yes, we need a credit card. Do you know how much money Blockbuster holds in bad debt? When you keep our movies and decide to never come back again, how exactly do you expect those movies to get paid for? I promise you I will not remember your card number or steal your identity. The forms get shredded by our manager, and they're darn safe from people intending to run up your credit card bill.
29. Throw it away. I love that you keep your receipt--it helps you keep track of your financial records and Blockbuster movie due dates--but please do not turn your receipt in within the cover of the movies you're returning. It's really annoying to box check movies and have to stop the whole process to throw your stupid receipt away. Gracias.
30. Yes, you need an account. You need a library card to check out books, and you need a Blockbuster card to check out movies. Plain and simple. This is how the world turns. Oh, and when I show you the "really long" form, please quit crying and just fill it out. Your whining doesn't make the process shorter.
31. New Release wall. I know this is a tough concept, but when movies have been out for a year or less, they are considered new (at my particular store). When I say something is "on the new release wall," and you ask me where that is, you force me into a partial seizure where I make involuntary "you're a moron" faces. The new release wall... is the whole wall. And remember #7? It's alphabetical. Happy hunting.
1. Blockbuster card. Have your Blockbuster card ready. When you're standing in line for 5 minutes, when a 30-minute long line is behind you, or when you know you have a stack of 43 cards to look through, please just be prepared. You bother me when I have to stand there waiting for you to search through the wallet that contains a lifetime of financial records and cards for every place you shop.
2. I am a human. Please HAND me everything. My having to lean three feet across a counter because you are too lazy to extend your arm and meet me halfway frustrates me. Do not set your card on the counter, because then I have a hard time lifting that little laminated piece of paper off the counter.
3. Pay attention. Losing my voice so I can yell to you that "I CAN HELP YOU DOWN HERE!" just doesn't seem worth it to me. I've done this a few times. Since then I've decided that I'll say it once, and if it doesn't matter enough for you to pay attention, then waiting a few more minutes to be helped shouldn't matter to you either.
4. Patience. Wait till I make eye contact. Do not be over-zealous. Just because I am at a computer does not mean I am available to help you.
5. Seal and cut. Seal up your online envelopes and clip your coupons. If you don't, I'll take my sweet time doing all of the things which you failed to do before you came in which means you have to wait a while longer. Please just help things run smoothly, and be ready.
6. Be nice. If you are nice, we will go out of our way to help you. Customers who politely ask if a movie is in the drop box will be the first ones I chase down if the movie does come in in the next few minutes.
7. Learn your ABCs. Movies that have "The" in the title are not in the "T" section. And, believe it or not, the movies are organized alphabetically. Top to bottom, left to right, you get the picture. Making me leave the front to find a movie for you because you don't know that R comes before S is a little bit irritating.
8. Know the rating. Giving credits because you didn't check if the movie went against your "no-rated-R" moral principles before paying for it is against our policy. Also, Mormons, if you didn't check for the movie on the ever-reliable Clearplay before renting it, too bad. Check before you rent. The end.
9. Two-at-a-time. More than one movie fits into the drop box slot. Two at a time goes faster than one at a time, especially if you're returning three seasons of Lost.
10. Remember the title. Do not, I repeat, do NOT bring up the backing/display cards. I'm sure you can manage to remember a title for 7 seconds while you walk up to the front to ask if it's in. If you bring up the backing card, you increase your chances of making us mad, we'll lie and say it's checked out, and give the movie to the next person who asks. The only exceptions to this rule are people who struggle with English and titles that you cannot pronounce.
11. Clean yo' case. If you spill crap on your return movies, clean them off please. Just because your kid got syrup from his Eggos on the Land Before Time doesn't mean that I deserve to be sticky. Paper towel, Windex, spray, wipe, return movie to drop box.
12. Clean yo' movie. When you come to us with a DVD saying that it wouldn't play in your DVD player and kept skipping, and I check the back of it only to find smudgy finger prints... I automatically deem you a lazy moron who is trying to get a free movie. Clean the DVD, dude. I knew this BEFORE working at Blockbuster. Water, alcohol, or Windex, plus a soft towel, should do the trick. Happy cleaning.
13. One call. If we do not have it, and there is a really long line behind you, asking us to call three other Blockbusters will tick us off. I can call one store, or I can give you the phone numbers. Otherwise, get the heck out of line. Kthxbai.
14. Don't be that girl. We do not have One Tree Hill, the Hills, Dawson's Creek, or any other of your ridiculous shows. I don't know why, I don't control those things, but if I did, I still wouldn't carry the shows because it'd be because only ONE type of girl asks if we carry them.
15. Watch your kids. If there's one section I don't like to put movies away, it's the family/kids section because you and your devil children travel like a hurricane through there. We're customer service reps, not babysitters, so get a leash for your kid. Thanks.
16. Help. If you knock a shelf and all its movies down, and I hear you laughing, my alter-ego wants to take over and punch you in the face. When I come to clean it up, the least you can do is help me.
17. Trash. Finding your Cold Stone cups and McDonald's bags and napkins on random shelves in the store makes me wonder if you ever had any parents. There are plenty of trash cans. Utilize them. Just because you're not polluting outside doesn't mean you deserve an in-store maid service.
18. Give them to us. You know how the library says, "Do not reshelve your books?" We feel the same way. Give us what you don't want. Don't leave them in random places or set them in a neat pile of five on the floor (yes, I've had that happen)... Just hand them to us at the front. When someone wants to rent a movie and it's not in its place because you decided to put Ace Ventura over by Schindler's List, we get a little upset. And so do you, when the movie you want is lost because of people like yourself.
19. Slide your card. Yes, there. Do not hand me your debit or credit card. We are a self-service movie store. Don't ask me silly questions either. "Just slide it here?" Well, I'm not sure where else you would slide it, but if you figure something else out, let me know. Follow the instructions on the screen, pay attention, and we're good to go.
20. Do the rewards program. If you rent three times a year, do it. I'm telling you, it's not a scam.
21. No phone numbers. We haven't taken phone numbers in years. Card, ID, a previous rental, or no rentals. If you've forgotten more than once, we won't do you any favors.
22. Bar codes. Let me explain: bar codes belong to particular stores. Bar codes help us keep track of movies. When My Little Pony Princess Parade gets turned in and your cute 3-year old ripped off the bar code, I can't check it in for you. End of story. When you turn in the movies to the wrong Blockbuster, I can't check it in for you. End of story.
23. Late policy. There is a seven day grace period after your due date. Keep it past that date, and it gets sold to the card on your account. You have 30 days to bring it back for a refund and a $1.25 restocking fee. Never mind that it says all of this on the receipt which you are too lazy to read. But when we have had this policy for several years, and you want to know why you owe $2.50 after having movies out for 4 weeks, I lose my patience.
24. Ask again. This isn't really a peeve, but more for your benefit. If a popular movie is checked out, ask us again to check when you leave. Frequently, a movie gets turned in 56 seconds after you asked us for it. Ask again. Politely, and in as non-pushy a way possible.
25. Wait. You are not the most important person in the world. Believe it or not, when I'm helping a customer, I am busy, and you can wait. When I am carrying a stack of 50 movies, there are other CSRs at the front who can answer your questions. Don't be oblivious to the fact that we do, in fact, have other things that we are doing and cannot check the computer for your 80s movie Ski Patrol when we're on the run.
That should do it for now. I'd imagine that I can add more to this list after the next time I work.
Just so you know, my favorite customer ever is genuinely kind and appreciative. If he asks us for a movie, and it comes in after he leaves, we call him to tell him it's in and hold it for him. He brings us ice cream bars and tells us how much he appreciates us. People who go out of their way to show appreciation get a lot more back in the world. So the next time you contemplate leaving your Cold Stone cup next to Hairspray or drop the only copy of The Sandlot off at another part of the store, I hope someone throws ice cream all over your car and that all the movies you want are checked out. Karma.
Here's to your next amazing Blockbuster experience.
Love, Your All-Knowing CSR,
Janae
Addendums after working a slow Saturday night and observing additional things that bother my co-workers:
26. Change. Remember that rule about handing everything to me? The rule stands for money, and especially change. Don't throw your bloody quarters at me when I have my hand out waiting for you to dig seventy-two cents out of your over-sized wallet. Dane Cook has a joke about this. I refer you to him for a more humorous presentation of this topic.
27. Go look. Remember how I told you that the movies are alphabetized? They're also in sections (comedy, action, horror, drama, foreign, special interest, animation, family/kids, and games). When you come up to the front to ask where a movie is, I will gladly tell you. But when you ask me to help you find it when you haven't even tried looking, that gets on my nerves. There are other things I could be doing besides heading toward the genre and alphabetical location of a movie because you're too freaking lazy to go look. Just GO LOOK! If you're having trouble, THEN you can ask.
28. Credit card. New customers: yes, we need a credit card. Do you know how much money Blockbuster holds in bad debt? When you keep our movies and decide to never come back again, how exactly do you expect those movies to get paid for? I promise you I will not remember your card number or steal your identity. The forms get shredded by our manager, and they're darn safe from people intending to run up your credit card bill.
29. Throw it away. I love that you keep your receipt--it helps you keep track of your financial records and Blockbuster movie due dates--but please do not turn your receipt in within the cover of the movies you're returning. It's really annoying to box check movies and have to stop the whole process to throw your stupid receipt away. Gracias.
30. Yes, you need an account. You need a library card to check out books, and you need a Blockbuster card to check out movies. Plain and simple. This is how the world turns. Oh, and when I show you the "really long" form, please quit crying and just fill it out. Your whining doesn't make the process shorter.
31. New Release wall. I know this is a tough concept, but when movies have been out for a year or less, they are considered new (at my particular store). When I say something is "on the new release wall," and you ask me where that is, you force me into a partial seizure where I make involuntary "you're a moron" faces. The new release wall... is the whole wall. And remember #7? It's alphabetical. Happy hunting.
Comments
This list is very helpful...BUT you might want to add a warning at the very top "NEED A BRAIN TO UNDERSTAND"
Unfortunately most people are clueless...but thanks for trying to help them, keep the dream alive!LOL!
Love,
Your Favorite Auntie!!!!!!!!
One to add-Do not call us saying;
Customer: "Uh, I got this message thing, and I wanted you to look up my account thing and check when my stuffage, like when movie things would be due back."
Employee: "Where is your receipt?"
Customer: "I, uh...well I totally tossed it in your trashcan dude, I hate receipts."
Employee: "Well sir can you remember when you roughly rented the film?"
Customer: "Well not really, I mean that was several days ago you know, can you just look it up?"
Employee: "Did you rent it last Saturday? Look, all rentals are seven days, if you rented it last week it's due this week."
Customer: "But I think it's late, I got a message on my phone dude!"
Employee: "We have a seven day grace period, that equals a week, so you have two weeks to get the movie back, you think you have gone over those two weeks?"
Customer: "Freak, I don't KNOW!"
Employee: "What DO you know sir?"
Customer: "Check my accounts!?"
Employee: "Okay, it will be one minute as I have current customers in line."
-put on hold for several minutes for good measure-
Employee: "Alright thanks for holding, I checked and you have no account here."
Customer: "WHAT!? I just rented, give the phone to someone who can do their job!"
Employee: "Well first let's check something, did you rent your movie at the Blockbuster near 24hr fitness or at 500 and 100?"
Customer: "Uhhh, there's more than one?"
Employee: "Yes sir."
Customer: "Well how was I suppose to know I called the wrong one!?"
Employee: "Did you not keep your receipt?"
Customer: "You know I didn't!"
Employee: "Oh, right...well the receipt would have had the correct Blockbuster phone number for you on the top of the same paper...that had your due dates."
Customer: "...I hate you."
Employee: "I hate you too sir, have a good night."
You don't count. The kinds of girls who ask for those shows.. oh, and Gossip Girl... Come up to the counter and are like, "Hi, do you guys have Gossip Girls?" "No, we don't." "Uh! *gawking ditz face*." And I'm forced to think to myself, "Wow, good thing we don't have those shows... I might have to deal with a lot more of the above if we did..."
;)
Love youuuu