Saturday, December 27, 2014

Christmas "Break" Continued

Last night, my friend Brittany invited me to get pho with her and some of her friends. It was my first time, and it was delicious. I had chicken pho, which I guess isn't "real" pho, but it was really, really good. It was fun to see her and give her her birthday/Christmas presents.

I came home and slept really well although I was worried about my cat. I actually was pretty anxious just to hear them call and tell us, "OK, we relieved his constipation. He's eaten something. He's doing better. Come pick him up."

So this morning I texted my friend to make sure we were still on for lunch. She asked if we could switch to breakfast. That was OK with me. We had a great time talking at Peppertree Cafe. It is so fun talking with and feeling comfortable with people you haven't really talked to in a couple of years, especially when you live so far apart and have such different lives. I still connect with her and feel so much love and connection there. It's nice to be reminded of it, and those types of conversations always energize me.

I came home super happy about my breakfast. I was ready to have a good workout.

But my mom broke the news that the vet had called. The cat had feline leukemia and a failing liver. They had tried to medicate him, but he had thrown up even more.

We all knew what that meant pretty immediately. One at a time we cried in the backyard.

We waited for Therese, Jake's on again off again girlfriend, to come with us because she has been close with our cat the past five years. All of us except Jason headed to the vet.

The doctor brought him out of the cage and set him on the table. He was really confused seeing all of us. It was a lot of commotion for him. He was still low energy. Dogs were barking the next room over, staying in the cages in the back. I finally had them shut that door, like this moment wasn't chaotic enough without the noise.

He gave him an initial shot which basically paralyzed him. They called it "relaxing," but it forced him to lie down and become immobile. That was awful to watch. We all were sobbing. Jared had the hardest time. That cat has been around for 14 of Jared's 17 years. It was painful touching his beautiful, long tail and feeling no response.

The doctor came back in and basically seemed to be rushing us through everything. He put a band around our cat's paw and administered the shot. He was gone within a few seconds.

We stayed around another couple of minutes saying our goodbyes to our amazing cat. We filed out, dad, then Jared, then mom, and me. Jake and Therese stayed behind, much to the doctor's frustration. He wanted us and them out.

As we walked to the car I expressed to mom how very sad I was that he had spent his last night in a cage in an unfamiliar, noisy place with dogs. My mom reminded me how hungry and dehydrated he was, and explained that he would've died at home from dehydration if we hadn't taken him to the vet to get him an IV. We wouldn't have been able to say goodbye.

I don't like that I sat and watched him starve for three days. It was very upsetting and stressful. I was on watch every hour, making sure he hadn't moved, making sure he was still alive. Not fun.

After getting home, I ran two miles and did another 10 minute workout. I found a quarter on my run. I don't know if that means anything. I do know that I had to run after what happened. I missed my cat, and the morning had been completely overwhelming.

As I waited for Kristen to arrive, I went through all my old photos looking for pictures and videos of our kitty. It's been fun to look through them and see him when he was younger. I now have them all in one folder, so they're easy to find.

My friend Kristen asked if she could come from Thousand Oaks to hang out with me. I could certainly use the company on this awful day, so she arrived around 2:30.

She brought me some beautiful flowers. So sweet and thoughtful, as usual.

We hung out, ran some errands--Payless, Target, and Stater Bros. Then we went to dinner at Legends, and came home and talked some more.

It's been a pretty rough day, and I miss my cat. We're all struggling with the loss.

We feel your absence, Shibby Kitty. We love you.

Our cat's famous "trick." It's how he asked for food. 

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