Made Whole
From January 7 to February 17 I participated in a six week long cleanse of body and soul led by my lovely friend Mary of Made Whole. She's an amazing, empathetic healer. She emanates light and love, and she makes you feel like she will accept you in all your obnoxious imperfections.
I reached out to Mary after three months of battling sinus issues during training, and with a host of other emotional stresses I wanted help managing. She sent me information on her cleanse, with no pressure at all, and encouraged me to ask questions and decide if this was right for me at the right time.
Here is what she says about the purposes of her program:
The first intention of this program is to help you rewire your neural pathways by creating your Ideal Life Vision, which you will create in our I AM workshop on January 6th, 2018, and which I will help you refine throughout our six weeks together. Your IdealLife Vision is a written manifest of the life your heart desires, with great detail and purpose. I will guide you through the steps to make it as powerful as possible, and will teach you how to use it to support your creation of the life you envision. This will help to diffuse the negative thought patterns or beliefs that may be keeping you from leading your life with your strengths and fulfilling your potential. Our work together will help you be very clear about the life you are going to live and create in the next year to eighteen months.
The second intention of this program is to support your body’s ability to cleanse itself of many toxins and patterns that may be causing inflammation, fatigue, mood swings and imbalances, fogginess and excess weight. We focus on cleansing the organs of synthetic buildup, heavy metals and parasites (we all have them). We will do this through a diet designed to restore the nutritional deficiencies you may be suffering from, as these deficiencies often play a great role in your emotional and physical wellness; we will also use supplements, oils and emotion work to support your detox.
The third and highest intention is, through the assignments and cleanse given, that you will trust yourself- with food, with your dreams and potential, in your body, and step towards the vibrant, fulfilled life that has been ordained to you.
Now, I need you all to know (and for those who follow me on Instagram, you know my general approach to health and wellness) that I was skeptical and expressed my skepticism to Mary. Juice cleanses, detoxes, and "allowing your gut to rest," and things like that really aren't backed by science. There are lots of anecdotes, but not a lot of science. Thankfully, I am also of the opinion that if it works for you, makes you feel good, and doesn't hurt you and your health, do what you need to do. I'm not a fan of any extreme measures, as I like to find sustainable approaches that work for people to feel great and confident. Nevertheless, I felt pretty strongly that this was something I needed to do. This was largely BECAUSE of the discomfort this entire idea caused me. I figured the guilty take the truth to be hard, and this was something I would benefit from.
I had a couple of obstacles come up that really tested whether this was something I wanted to do. First, I got accepted to Trainer Lindsey's free 8 week group. She picked four applicants to go through her program and get all of Ideal's supplements for free, with weekly check-ins. It was an amazing, amazing opportunity. I cried and contacted Lindsey and told her the situation. In the end, I passed up this opportunity. I do feel that it would have been great for me in different ways, and Mary's cleanse was great for me in different ways.
After taking our blood sugar and pH level in the morning to send to Mary, the group started on January 6 by spending an entire day creating our "Life Vision." Herein was another conflict. I had volunteered to teach a free class at Core Life Eatery on this date, not knowing when the workshop would be, or what time or how long. I sheepishly had to back out of teaching at Core Life even though they had already printed posters and created the event. I felt awful. But I knew that this workshop would be an important part of the cleanse, so I went ahead and backed out of teaching.
The workshop is where we had to get raw and brave and real with ourselves and unabashedly write what we wanted most in the areas of spiritual, physical, relationships, business/finance, personal growth, and giving back. We met at Mary's family friend's beautiful home in South Jordan. This is where I first met everyone--Mary's sister Lauren, Mary's cousin Chelsea, Mary's DoTerra coach Kindra, and Mary's friend Natalie.
Allow me to tell you how hard this day was. It was so, so hard. In the relationship section, you're meant to focus on all the relationships that matter to you. This means romantic relationships, friendships, family relationships, and your relationship with yourself. I had an especially awful meltdown in this area. I had to leave the house. I walked up and down the side walk and ugly cried. I was out of control and imagine I was loud enough that the neighbors could hear me. To describe my pain to you, I would basically have you imagine that a close relative, someone important in your life, had passed away. It was a grieving moment.
That day didn't get any easier. Having been in health and fitness for seven years now, I knew the work that this cleanse would entail--way more than this anti-food prepper wanted to do. I knew it would be hard. I knew what I was giving up. I knew I'd be hungry and grumpy and emotional. So when I had to shop at Sprouts (and spend a lot of money there) and Harmon's for ingredients for my juice, not knowing what some of the ingredients even looked like, or how much juice these ingredients would make, or how much of each thing to get, I was really stressed and frustrated. Walking to my car in the parking lot, I stopped in my tracks and broke down in tears again. I was so overwhelmed. But I knew I needed to do this.
The first day, January 7, we had to do a salt flush. It was terrible. If you ever need to poop your brains out, or pee out your bum, I'll give you the recipe. Four cups of warm water with pink Himalayan sea salt, chugged within ten minutes. Terrible. Clearly, I didn't go to church. I made my first juice that day, just one serving to test out my juicer and see what the juice was like. I had all day to make more, after all.
The first week consisted of just juice. My juice was pretty spicy due to black beet and ginger and radish. It wasn't awful, but man it was strong, and bless anyone who had to smell my breath.
During the week, I made my juice in the morning, which took a long time and made me late to work. I tried plastic cups with straws for a couple days, but ended up using glass Mason jars and took an ice chest to work so I didn't have to stink up the fridge with my juice. During this phase we were also allowed to have herbal tea, thank goodness. It was hard, and I was hungry, but I think since I already had my meltdown beforehand, I didn't do too bad. I had some moments where I asked myself why I was doing this, reminded myself that science didn't support this, and this wasn't why I contacted Mary in the first place. Thankfully I had Natalie in my group to support me and keep me focused.
That week was especially hard with workouts. I could barely lift any weight. My muscles felt weak, and my energy was suffering. On Saturday, January 13, I went to an Ideal Fit event with my friend Brittney. I had to scale back and take it easy, having only had juice for the six days prior. I made it through by trying places like Ivie Juice in Orem, Pulp Lifestyle Kitchen's juice (with Brittney after the Ideal event), Just Organic Juice in Draper, and Vive Juicery in Draper. I matched my juice choices there as closely as I could to our juice, and it really saved the day and changed things up for me.
On Sunday, January 14, we had yet another salt flush. It was as bad as you'd imagine, not having had any food in a whole week. I believe I went to church and left early. That night was really hard for me. My grandma made chicken paprikas, our family's favorite dish from Hungary, for my mom's birthday. I couldn't have any, but I did get to have bone broth that night. I saved it specifically for dinner while everyone was eating. I was sorely disappointed and sad about my bone broth. I had a small meltdown that night where I told my mom how hungry I was and how tired I was. But thankfully that week, we got to add bone broth, apple juice, and olive oil. This was to prepare for the gall stone flush the following Sunday. The added calories made my body very happy, and my workouts were a little easier.
On Sunday, January 21, we had our gall stone flush. This consisted of Epsom salt water the night prior, along with chugging some olive oil combined with grapefruit juice and lemon juice (I forgot the lemon--oops) and going straight to bed. The next morning was more painful than the two salt flushes prior. I will leave it at that. I didn't end up going to stake conference that day, seeing as I had to jump out of the shower to go to the bathroom and didn't know what the rest of the day would be like.
That day was amazing. We got to reintroduce soft foods, including kefir with Flax oil and berries, steamed veggies, and steamed fruit. I overate that day and got really bloated, but it was so nice to be able to chew. Those foods were our foods for the next few days until we had a good, solid bowel movement. Sorry if that's TMI.
After our BM, Mary sent us our recipes. This was the week of smoothies, salads, and soups, designed for our individual nutrient deficiencies. This felt normal to me, as I always have shakes for breakfast and salads for lunch. But the immense amount of fiber made me feel pretty bloated this entire week. I think it was the black bean soup, which was freaking AMAZING by the way. So, so yummy. I didn't get sick of it. I actually ate more than I was supposed to because it was so good. We also got to have boiled eggs for snacks, and trail mix. I ran out of the black bean soup with a couple of days left, and not knowing what foods would be in the next phase, I made a half batch and ended up freezing some of it.
The hardest thing about the cleanse in that period was not knowing when each phase would end and how much food to buy. I ended up wasting a lot of food because we were done juicing, and then before I knew it, the smoothie/salad/soup phase was done, and I had some of that left as well.
The last phase was the least personalized. Mary introduced a lot of fat in this phase. I ate quite a few eggs, and quite a few avocados, and a lot of chopped up vegetables. I didn't want to go to the trouble of making hummus when I'm not a huge fan (I don't hate it, but I don't love it). And the other recipes didn't appeal to me much either. I loved the juice in this phase, which I had 2-3 times and actually am planning on making again soon. It was so yummy. My coconut curry recipe was pretty tasty. This was another frustrating moment because I ran out of the curry with a couple of days left, but two days before I could eat salmon, and making a huge batch of veggie spaghetti seemed like it might end up being wasteful. I made it anyway, and did end up throwing a lot of it away because I didn't like it very much, and it made a lot. We had the option of salad for lunch or dinner as well, so I should have just done that instead of making spaghetti.
February 10 was my birthday, and I did well all day with my food, but ended up having that chimney that I won the giveaway for. So I was "done" a little sooner than everyone else.
On Sunday, February 11, we had our story night at Natalie's house. We got together for the first time since January 6 and shared formative experiences from our lives, and what we could glean from those to share with the group. It was really emotional, and Mary brought in two ladies who weren't in the group to share their experiences as well. We brought healthyish treats to share. I brought oatmeal applesauce cookies and PB2 brownies with coconut whipped cream. Mary brought almond joys. Chelsea brought no bake cookies. And I had already had some Dove chocolate earlier in the day since I had that treat the night before. This day was a little out of control free for all for me, to be honest.
That whole next week, we were supposed to slowly reintroduce things. I had every intention of doing that, but I also had all my birthday freebies rolling in by email. On Monday night, February 12, I got myself some theater popcorn. That actually went OK in terms of how my body dealt with it, but I felt really sad afterward. That was kind of weird. It wasn't guilt or illness. It was sadness. So bizarre.
It took me a few days to reintroduce meat. It took me a few days to reintroduce soda also, which I've only had a couple of times since. I ate an entire thing of cheesy bread from Marco's, which was delicious. I continued to have salads for lunch and a few nights had salad for dinner as well. I had a Firehouse Sub, and a Pizza Studio pizza (both free). I just didn't take it slow, to be honest. I've put on a lot of weight--I don't even know how much--which I knew would happen the minute we were done and could reintroduce food. I had sushi and dessert on the 17th for my birthday, and the same on Sunday the 18th--chicken and dumplings and cake.
So now I'm in a weird stage where I know what foods my body does well with, what foods reduce inflammation and help me feel light and good, and what foods don't make me feel so good. And trying to find some self-control and choose my body over my taste buds. I go to sleep and wake up with intentions of making better choices, but then we have dessert day at work, or I have cake that my best friend made, and it's just so hard to choose my body and well-being.
That week of reintroducing foods caused my skin to freak out, made me bloated, made me gain weight, and disrupted my sleep. My improved sleep was one of the biggest benefits of the juicing portion. I just was really irresponsible and too quick about putting all the processed foods back in. And I kind of knew I would be, which is why I am skeptical of extreme measures. Because I know what happens when I restrict for too long--it's totally counterproductive. It makes me frustrated because after all the time, money, effort, and energy put into everything, to just so quickly give up everything I had gained makes me feel annoyed with myself.
In this process, I gained new, amazing friends. I had three emotion work sessions with Mary where we released some emotions in order to break down my heart wall. It was a weird and cool experience. The second and third sessions were better for me than the first. I learned that I can do some incredibly difficult things. I reaffirmed what an amazing machine my body is, and reminded myself how good I can feel by eating the right foods. I've learned that I can invest a little bit more time in my own food preparation, and that I deserve the effort, and the extra money for better ingredients.
I was looking to regain balance, for connectedness in my mind and body. I felt overall that the stress of the food (the shopping, the preparation, etc.) kind of overtook the more spiritual and emotional aspects of the cleanse for me. I also had a meltdown on January 31 about the cost of the groceries on top of the program--I probably tripled or quadrupled my normal food budget. I understand that we learn more about our bodies, and reconnect to our bodies, when we are treating them well. But I needed to devote more time to peace and meditation and processing through my issues. So whatever this program didn't deliver was due to my own inability to muster up the energy and time after dealing with all the food challenges and remembering all the supplements and when to take them.
Still, it was definitely valuable. The friends I gained are probably the biggest benefit for me, second only to the self-love I gained. I'm grateful for Mary and her leadership as well as the encouragement and strength of the other ladies in the group. Mostly I am grateful for myself--for my body's ability to push through and heal itself, for my discipline in completing the assignments, for the effort I put in to loving myself. I DO love myself and am worth the time and effort to have the health and life I want. I am worthy of blessings and of the desires of my heart. And if you don't know your own worth and worthiness, then this program would be a powerful experience for you.
I reached out to Mary after three months of battling sinus issues during training, and with a host of other emotional stresses I wanted help managing. She sent me information on her cleanse, with no pressure at all, and encouraged me to ask questions and decide if this was right for me at the right time.
Here is what she says about the purposes of her program:
The first intention of this program is to help you rewire your neural pathways by creating your Ideal Life Vision, which you will create in our I AM workshop on January 6th, 2018, and which I will help you refine throughout our six weeks together. Your IdealLife Vision is a written manifest of the life your heart desires, with great detail and purpose. I will guide you through the steps to make it as powerful as possible, and will teach you how to use it to support your creation of the life you envision. This will help to diffuse the negative thought patterns or beliefs that may be keeping you from leading your life with your strengths and fulfilling your potential. Our work together will help you be very clear about the life you are going to live and create in the next year to eighteen months.
The second intention of this program is to support your body’s ability to cleanse itself of many toxins and patterns that may be causing inflammation, fatigue, mood swings and imbalances, fogginess and excess weight. We focus on cleansing the organs of synthetic buildup, heavy metals and parasites (we all have them). We will do this through a diet designed to restore the nutritional deficiencies you may be suffering from, as these deficiencies often play a great role in your emotional and physical wellness; we will also use supplements, oils and emotion work to support your detox.
The third and highest intention is, through the assignments and cleanse given, that you will trust yourself- with food, with your dreams and potential, in your body, and step towards the vibrant, fulfilled life that has been ordained to you.
Now, I need you all to know (and for those who follow me on Instagram, you know my general approach to health and wellness) that I was skeptical and expressed my skepticism to Mary. Juice cleanses, detoxes, and "allowing your gut to rest," and things like that really aren't backed by science. There are lots of anecdotes, but not a lot of science. Thankfully, I am also of the opinion that if it works for you, makes you feel good, and doesn't hurt you and your health, do what you need to do. I'm not a fan of any extreme measures, as I like to find sustainable approaches that work for people to feel great and confident. Nevertheless, I felt pretty strongly that this was something I needed to do. This was largely BECAUSE of the discomfort this entire idea caused me. I figured the guilty take the truth to be hard, and this was something I would benefit from.
I had a couple of obstacles come up that really tested whether this was something I wanted to do. First, I got accepted to Trainer Lindsey's free 8 week group. She picked four applicants to go through her program and get all of Ideal's supplements for free, with weekly check-ins. It was an amazing, amazing opportunity. I cried and contacted Lindsey and told her the situation. In the end, I passed up this opportunity. I do feel that it would have been great for me in different ways, and Mary's cleanse was great for me in different ways.
The workshop is where we had to get raw and brave and real with ourselves and unabashedly write what we wanted most in the areas of spiritual, physical, relationships, business/finance, personal growth, and giving back. We met at Mary's family friend's beautiful home in South Jordan. This is where I first met everyone--Mary's sister Lauren, Mary's cousin Chelsea, Mary's DoTerra coach Kindra, and Mary's friend Natalie.
Allow me to tell you how hard this day was. It was so, so hard. In the relationship section, you're meant to focus on all the relationships that matter to you. This means romantic relationships, friendships, family relationships, and your relationship with yourself. I had an especially awful meltdown in this area. I had to leave the house. I walked up and down the side walk and ugly cried. I was out of control and imagine I was loud enough that the neighbors could hear me. To describe my pain to you, I would basically have you imagine that a close relative, someone important in your life, had passed away. It was a grieving moment.
That day didn't get any easier. Having been in health and fitness for seven years now, I knew the work that this cleanse would entail--way more than this anti-food prepper wanted to do. I knew it would be hard. I knew what I was giving up. I knew I'd be hungry and grumpy and emotional. So when I had to shop at Sprouts (and spend a lot of money there) and Harmon's for ingredients for my juice, not knowing what some of the ingredients even looked like, or how much juice these ingredients would make, or how much of each thing to get, I was really stressed and frustrated. Walking to my car in the parking lot, I stopped in my tracks and broke down in tears again. I was so overwhelmed. But I knew I needed to do this.
The first day, January 7, we had to do a salt flush. It was terrible. If you ever need to poop your brains out, or pee out your bum, I'll give you the recipe. Four cups of warm water with pink Himalayan sea salt, chugged within ten minutes. Terrible. Clearly, I didn't go to church. I made my first juice that day, just one serving to test out my juicer and see what the juice was like. I had all day to make more, after all.
The first week consisted of just juice. My juice was pretty spicy due to black beet and ginger and radish. It wasn't awful, but man it was strong, and bless anyone who had to smell my breath.
During the week, I made my juice in the morning, which took a long time and made me late to work. I tried plastic cups with straws for a couple days, but ended up using glass Mason jars and took an ice chest to work so I didn't have to stink up the fridge with my juice. During this phase we were also allowed to have herbal tea, thank goodness. It was hard, and I was hungry, but I think since I already had my meltdown beforehand, I didn't do too bad. I had some moments where I asked myself why I was doing this, reminded myself that science didn't support this, and this wasn't why I contacted Mary in the first place. Thankfully I had Natalie in my group to support me and keep me focused.
That week was especially hard with workouts. I could barely lift any weight. My muscles felt weak, and my energy was suffering. On Saturday, January 13, I went to an Ideal Fit event with my friend Brittney. I had to scale back and take it easy, having only had juice for the six days prior. I made it through by trying places like Ivie Juice in Orem, Pulp Lifestyle Kitchen's juice (with Brittney after the Ideal event), Just Organic Juice in Draper, and Vive Juicery in Draper. I matched my juice choices there as closely as I could to our juice, and it really saved the day and changed things up for me.
On Sunday, January 14, we had yet another salt flush. It was as bad as you'd imagine, not having had any food in a whole week. I believe I went to church and left early. That night was really hard for me. My grandma made chicken paprikas, our family's favorite dish from Hungary, for my mom's birthday. I couldn't have any, but I did get to have bone broth that night. I saved it specifically for dinner while everyone was eating. I was sorely disappointed and sad about my bone broth. I had a small meltdown that night where I told my mom how hungry I was and how tired I was. But thankfully that week, we got to add bone broth, apple juice, and olive oil. This was to prepare for the gall stone flush the following Sunday. The added calories made my body very happy, and my workouts were a little easier.
On Sunday, January 21, we had our gall stone flush. This consisted of Epsom salt water the night prior, along with chugging some olive oil combined with grapefruit juice and lemon juice (I forgot the lemon--oops) and going straight to bed. The next morning was more painful than the two salt flushes prior. I will leave it at that. I didn't end up going to stake conference that day, seeing as I had to jump out of the shower to go to the bathroom and didn't know what the rest of the day would be like.
That day was amazing. We got to reintroduce soft foods, including kefir with Flax oil and berries, steamed veggies, and steamed fruit. I overate that day and got really bloated, but it was so nice to be able to chew. Those foods were our foods for the next few days until we had a good, solid bowel movement. Sorry if that's TMI.
 |
| Goat's milk kefir, berries, and flax |
 |
| Pineapple and apples |
 |
| Veggies for steaming |
After our BM, Mary sent us our recipes. This was the week of smoothies, salads, and soups, designed for our individual nutrient deficiencies. This felt normal to me, as I always have shakes for breakfast and salads for lunch. But the immense amount of fiber made me feel pretty bloated this entire week. I think it was the black bean soup, which was freaking AMAZING by the way. So, so yummy. I didn't get sick of it. I actually ate more than I was supposed to because it was so good. We also got to have boiled eggs for snacks, and trail mix. I ran out of the black bean soup with a couple of days left, and not knowing what foods would be in the next phase, I made a half batch and ended up freezing some of it.
 |
| So excited for my first salad in weeks (at Core Life Eatery) |
The hardest thing about the cleanse in that period was not knowing when each phase would end and how much food to buy. I ended up wasting a lot of food because we were done juicing, and then before I knew it, the smoothie/salad/soup phase was done, and I had some of that left as well.
The last phase was the least personalized. Mary introduced a lot of fat in this phase. I ate quite a few eggs, and quite a few avocados, and a lot of chopped up vegetables. I didn't want to go to the trouble of making hummus when I'm not a huge fan (I don't hate it, but I don't love it). And the other recipes didn't appeal to me much either. I loved the juice in this phase, which I had 2-3 times and actually am planning on making again soon. It was so yummy. My coconut curry recipe was pretty tasty. This was another frustrating moment because I ran out of the curry with a couple of days left, but two days before I could eat salmon, and making a huge batch of veggie spaghetti seemed like it might end up being wasteful. I made it anyway, and did end up throwing a lot of it away because I didn't like it very much, and it made a lot. We had the option of salad for lunch or dinner as well, so I should have just done that instead of making spaghetti.
 |
| Omelet and sweet potato |
 |
| Veggies and guac |
 |
| Curry |
 |
| Quinoa was a breakfast option for 1-2 days if we didn't want an omelet |
On Sunday, February 11, we had our story night at Natalie's house. We got together for the first time since January 6 and shared formative experiences from our lives, and what we could glean from those to share with the group. It was really emotional, and Mary brought in two ladies who weren't in the group to share their experiences as well. We brought healthyish treats to share. I brought oatmeal applesauce cookies and PB2 brownies with coconut whipped cream. Mary brought almond joys. Chelsea brought no bake cookies. And I had already had some Dove chocolate earlier in the day since I had that treat the night before. This day was a little out of control free for all for me, to be honest.
That whole next week, we were supposed to slowly reintroduce things. I had every intention of doing that, but I also had all my birthday freebies rolling in by email. On Monday night, February 12, I got myself some theater popcorn. That actually went OK in terms of how my body dealt with it, but I felt really sad afterward. That was kind of weird. It wasn't guilt or illness. It was sadness. So bizarre.
It took me a few days to reintroduce meat. It took me a few days to reintroduce soda also, which I've only had a couple of times since. I ate an entire thing of cheesy bread from Marco's, which was delicious. I continued to have salads for lunch and a few nights had salad for dinner as well. I had a Firehouse Sub, and a Pizza Studio pizza (both free). I just didn't take it slow, to be honest. I've put on a lot of weight--I don't even know how much--which I knew would happen the minute we were done and could reintroduce food. I had sushi and dessert on the 17th for my birthday, and the same on Sunday the 18th--chicken and dumplings and cake.
So now I'm in a weird stage where I know what foods my body does well with, what foods reduce inflammation and help me feel light and good, and what foods don't make me feel so good. And trying to find some self-control and choose my body over my taste buds. I go to sleep and wake up with intentions of making better choices, but then we have dessert day at work, or I have cake that my best friend made, and it's just so hard to choose my body and well-being.
That week of reintroducing foods caused my skin to freak out, made me bloated, made me gain weight, and disrupted my sleep. My improved sleep was one of the biggest benefits of the juicing portion. I just was really irresponsible and too quick about putting all the processed foods back in. And I kind of knew I would be, which is why I am skeptical of extreme measures. Because I know what happens when I restrict for too long--it's totally counterproductive. It makes me frustrated because after all the time, money, effort, and energy put into everything, to just so quickly give up everything I had gained makes me feel annoyed with myself.
In this process, I gained new, amazing friends. I had three emotion work sessions with Mary where we released some emotions in order to break down my heart wall. It was a weird and cool experience. The second and third sessions were better for me than the first. I learned that I can do some incredibly difficult things. I reaffirmed what an amazing machine my body is, and reminded myself how good I can feel by eating the right foods. I've learned that I can invest a little bit more time in my own food preparation, and that I deserve the effort, and the extra money for better ingredients.
I was looking to regain balance, for connectedness in my mind and body. I felt overall that the stress of the food (the shopping, the preparation, etc.) kind of overtook the more spiritual and emotional aspects of the cleanse for me. I also had a meltdown on January 31 about the cost of the groceries on top of the program--I probably tripled or quadrupled my normal food budget. I understand that we learn more about our bodies, and reconnect to our bodies, when we are treating them well. But I needed to devote more time to peace and meditation and processing through my issues. So whatever this program didn't deliver was due to my own inability to muster up the energy and time after dealing with all the food challenges and remembering all the supplements and when to take them.
Still, it was definitely valuable. The friends I gained are probably the biggest benefit for me, second only to the self-love I gained. I'm grateful for Mary and her leadership as well as the encouragement and strength of the other ladies in the group. Mostly I am grateful for myself--for my body's ability to push through and heal itself, for my discipline in completing the assignments, for the effort I put in to loving myself. I DO love myself and am worth the time and effort to have the health and life I want. I am worthy of blessings and of the desires of my heart. And if you don't know your own worth and worthiness, then this program would be a powerful experience for you.
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