And Then There Were Two (Black Eyes)
It took me until the ripe old age of 32 to obtain my first black eye in a mountain bike crash at our company retreat.
It took me only 1.5 weeks to get my second black eye on the other side.
I was just getting home from a run on Friday, July 5 in my hometown. I was soaked with sweat, thanks to the 75% humidity, and was heading to the backyard to stretch and cool down.
Rather than trail my dirty running shoes and drip sweat throughout the house, I went through the side gate that my grandpa built.
It's been a few years since this gate has had any attention from my grandpa. And after being roughed around by my brother, it's not in great shape. It's also about a foot taller than me.
To close it, you have to kind of lift and slam it shut.
It probably would have been wise of me to set my phone down, or put it in my flip belt while trying to slam said gate.
But, sometimes I do dumb things.
So with my left hand on the gate, my right hand on a wood panel inside the gate, and with my phone in my right hand at eye level, I attempted to slam the gate shut.
First try: SLAM! No latch.
Second try: SLAM, half latch.
And in the midst of that second slam, my iPhone came flying out of my right hand, directly into my right eye.
I know you've all probably dropped your phone on your face in bed, or dropped it on your toe by accident. And if you haven't, thenyou're lying you need to know it hurts like a mother.
My phone fell on the ground, my hand went straight to my eye, which also had salty sweat dripping in it, and I fumbled around with the belt on the gate that holds it shut.
I picked up my phone and walked around to the backyard, trying to get the sweat out of my eyes and feeling the throb of my whole eye, knowing I would probably have another black eye from that awesome trick.
I went inside to the kitchen, grabbed an ice pack out of the freezer, and wrapped my workout towel around it. Then I came back outside to stretch and sit, with an ice pack on my face.
My cute dad asked me what happened. I relayed the pathetic tale, and he responded not with a laugh, but with sympathy. That impressed me. I thought the story was kind of funny becausewhy am I so dumb duh I threw my phone at my own face.
The next day, there was a little sore at the corner of my eye that looked like a bite, and some swelling and slight bruising. The next day it was even better, ripening into a really nice gray circle.
Yesterday it wasn't very noticeable.
Today it probably just looks like I have dark circles under my eyes from lack of sleep, which is typical. There is some soreness in the bottom right corner of my eye, but it's really not too bad, and not very visible.
Hopefully this is the last of the black eyes in my life, and I got them both in less than two weeks. I think two is plenty for a woman who doesn't do any risky activities or combat training. Maybe if I decide to take up Brazilian jiu jitsu or mountain biking, I can expect some more.
Please bless I don't fall off another bike or throw anything else at my face.
It took me only 1.5 weeks to get my second black eye on the other side.
I was just getting home from a run on Friday, July 5 in my hometown. I was soaked with sweat, thanks to the 75% humidity, and was heading to the backyard to stretch and cool down.
Rather than trail my dirty running shoes and drip sweat throughout the house, I went through the side gate that my grandpa built.
It's been a few years since this gate has had any attention from my grandpa. And after being roughed around by my brother, it's not in great shape. It's also about a foot taller than me.
To close it, you have to kind of lift and slam it shut.
It probably would have been wise of me to set my phone down, or put it in my flip belt while trying to slam said gate.
But, sometimes I do dumb things.
So with my left hand on the gate, my right hand on a wood panel inside the gate, and with my phone in my right hand at eye level, I attempted to slam the gate shut.
First try: SLAM! No latch.
Second try: SLAM, half latch.
And in the midst of that second slam, my iPhone came flying out of my right hand, directly into my right eye.
I know you've all probably dropped your phone on your face in bed, or dropped it on your toe by accident. And if you haven't, then
My phone fell on the ground, my hand went straight to my eye, which also had salty sweat dripping in it, and I fumbled around with the belt on the gate that holds it shut.
I picked up my phone and walked around to the backyard, trying to get the sweat out of my eyes and feeling the throb of my whole eye, knowing I would probably have another black eye from that awesome trick.
I went inside to the kitchen, grabbed an ice pack out of the freezer, and wrapped my workout towel around it. Then I came back outside to stretch and sit, with an ice pack on my face.
 |
| On the patio right after it happened |
My cute dad asked me what happened. I relayed the pathetic tale, and he responded not with a laugh, but with sympathy. That impressed me. I thought the story was kind of funny because
The next day, there was a little sore at the corner of my eye that looked like a bite, and some swelling and slight bruising. The next day it was even better, ripening into a really nice gray circle.
Yesterday it wasn't very noticeable.
 |
| July 9. Still a little bit puffy. |
Hopefully this is the last of the black eyes in my life, and I got them both in less than two weeks. I think two is plenty for a woman who doesn't do any risky activities or combat training. Maybe if I decide to take up Brazilian jiu jitsu or mountain biking, I can expect some more.
Please bless I don't fall off another bike or throw anything else at my face.
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