September in Review

When I make a list of everything I did or took pictures of in a month, I've noticed that it's mostly focused on food. I mean if you think about it, food is woven into everything we do. It's the focus of holidays; we connect with people at the dinner table; we bring people food when they're ill or struggling. So I don't feel that weird that food is such a big part of my life, especially because I like to think I keep my food choices balanced.

Anyway, let's look at both the food and the fun (and the challenges) that took place in September.

September 3 was a strange day in the world of Janae. I had blood in my bathroom trips. It was a little scary. I didn't feel sick or feverish or even nauseated. I called the nurse at my doctor's office. She said to stay hydrated, and if I don't feel other symptoms to just wait it out. She followed up with me a day or two later, which I really appreciated. It turned out to be nothing, but it was super weird and a little scary.

September 6 we had a date at the State Fair. We shared a monster brick of fries with cheese and bacon on it, and walked around looking at the displays and the animals.









September 7 we went to P.F. Chang's for dinner, where we had many of our serious conversations about our future. I mostly am just thrilled that Matthew is the one who initiates these conversations and that he's looking forward to a future with me. I feel the same. After dinner, we went to the Star Wars Symphony. We had a good time even though Matthew would've rather been at Fan X and was mad at me for telling his cousin (who offered tickets) that we had plans. What can ya do?


September 8 was a surprise 30th party for Matthew's friend Kevin. It was also his wife Brionna's birthday, but she set up the whole thing for Kevin. Matthew pretends not to like kids, but he actually loves them, and they love him back. Especially little Jace.



September 9 I got dessert at Waffle Love with Brittney. I always love talking with and catching up with her.

September 10 I had free tickets to a screening of Goldfinch. My mom came along. I actually really liked the movie, although some of the content was really difficult for me. I was thinking about the movie for days and days afterward.

September 11 was a scary day. We found out that on the night of the 10th, Matthew's mom had gone into the hospital with heart issues. She had open heart surgery on Thursday, September 12.

September 12 brought a successful surgery for Matthew's mom, so we went with a big group of his family to dinner at Sawadee. His brothers Jason, Jarrett, and Stanley were there, plus Stanley's friend, two of Matthew's aunts, his dad, his sister Stephanie, and her husband John. It was delicious, as always.

September 13 was Matthew's birthday, so I took him two different kouign amanns before I went to work in the morning. They were from Gourmandise and Les Madeleines. He liked LM's better. I had been planning a surprise birthday dinner with Matthew's friends for over a month. With his family in town, things got a little bit hectic, and I almost thought the party wouldn't happen. Before knowing my plans, they were trying to get him to reschedule his birthday dinner with me for another time. After I informed his sister and siblings about what I was doing, and after various other stresses of Matthew talking about changing the location of dinner, and the time of dinner, we got it all worked out. I drove us down to Orem to Pizzeria 712, where some of Matthew's favorite people were waiting.




He was really surprised and enjoyed himself, I think. Thanks to his friend Justin, who picked up the entire tab, and Brionna for bringing balloons and cake. After dinner, we went to Justin's house around the corner to hang out and have cake and go swimming. I was so glad everything worked out. I was sweating bullets earlier in the day.

September 14 my friend Ashleigh was running a 5K at Sugar House park, so I decided to run my own 5K at Liberty Park. Then I went to the Sugar House 5K and walked a loop with Ashleigh. The rest of that day was pretty normal. I took Max to the vet and went to the pool for the final time.




September 15 Matthew and I went to breakfast at Ruth's because I hadn't eaten on the patio there all summer. It is one of my favorite places to be. I couldn't have asked for better weather, either. It was beautiful up there. We had a good talk about all the stresses and challenges of that week.



The rest of that Sunday was really slow. We went to the hospital to see Matthew's mom. We went to Temple Square with his dad, sister, and brother-in-law. And we went to Matthew's place where I helped him with some chores that had taken a back seat during the chaos of the week. I helped him organize his room and fold a lot of clothes. He mentioned wanting a bed frame. So on September 16, I got on KSL to see what I could find as far as bed frames. I was able to pick it up the next day on September 17. I dropped it off at his house after work. (I feel like a bed frame is a basic necessity, but you know how bachelor pads are. Now, he has a bed frame, and that bed will probably end up in my house as a guest bed, so it was really an investment for myself as well.)

September 18 was nice out, so I went for a little walk outside at Temple Square. I laid eyes on Chio's Churro truck, and picked up a tray of mini churros, which I shared with coworkers.



That night was one I had been looking forward to for months. It was Gottman Date Night at Cottonwood High School. We watched an improv comedy bit, listened to one speaker talk about play and novelty in relationships (fun and play--not my areas of strength), and watched an interview with the Gottmans. The piece of advice they each offered as the number one takeaway were these:

1) Regularly acknowledge and express gratitude to your partner--things you love about them, what they add to your life, etc.

2) When your partner is upset, the world stops, and you listen.

I know Matthew's week was incredibly chaotic. He had things he was helping his parents deal with, and had a lot on his mind, but he tried really hard to be present with me at this event, and talked about it with me afterward. I'm grateful he makes me and our relationship a priority. And when I am upset, he does stop everything and listen.




September 19 was my third attempt at upgrading my phone after getting dinner at Aubergine with mom. Unfortunately, they were out of the phone I wanted (iPhone X), so I'd have to try a fourth time on my own to go get my stupid overdue upgrade.

Aubergine



September 21 I had a challenging (but not hilly enough) 5 mile run in preparation for Ragnar. I did all my usual Saturday things (cleaning, laundry, groceries), and upgraded my phone. That evening, we had dinner at Este Pizza in Sugar House (again). We really love that place. So yummy.


Mirror selfie



September 22 I just took it really easy. I slept in, got myself a donut, did some reading, went on a couple of walks, and generally hung out. I also made dinner.




September 23 I had dinner with my friend Sunya at Costa Vida. It was fun to talk with her about her wedding and about relationships in general. She's a good person, and I'm so glad we stayed friends after I trained her at 24 Hour Fitness.

September 23-25 was a fun time because they resealed the asphalt at my complex. We had to park far away, and it was supposed to be just one night, but it ended up being two. Parking is a nightmare WITH the parking spots. Without them, it was a sh-- show. The second night, I parked near (but not in front of) a fire hydrant, where I often see other cars parked. At midnight, I got a text from my roommate asking if I had parked by a fire hydrant. I guess a car had come through that part of the road and side swiped a bunch of cars, so the cops were there. I came down to check on my car and move it, just to be sure I wouldn't get a ticket. Thankfully, my car was fine. But it wasn't my favorite night.

September 24 I went to visit Matthew's mom at the hospital after work for an hour or so. Then I went and got a haircut. I had them take off four inches, which is basically not noticeable to anyone when your hair is as long as mine.

September 25 I had the first of my quarterly reviews with a couple of bosses at work. I have a lot of bosses since I'm an assistant. We had lunch at Core Life, and it was really nice because it was about 30 solid minutes of being thanked and praise for my work at the company.



September 27 was a big change of pace. I was up at my normal time to work out, and left at my normal time to head up to Park City for our meeting and retreat at the Deer Valley Montage. The training during the day was really, really good. We took a test to see if we know how things really work at the company, and spent the rest of the afternoon going through the answers. It was a good opportunity to see what I don't know yet. At 3pm, we had three outside presentations from investors. The first was about what investors expect. The second one was about whiteboarding (group brainstorming), and how to structure it. The third one was about our responsibility as employees to make everyone feel wanted, needed, and appreciated. It was very Brene Brownesque. We dismissed around 5:30pm and headed to our rooms. Then we were back downstairs at 6pm for a "cocktail hour" or social hour. It was fun to get to talk to my coworkers and their most significant people. At dinner we sat with Cameron and his wife Mariah, and Jake's wife Shae was next to me. The conversation was really fun and lively. Dinner was good: mushroom soup, steak, potatoes, mac and cheese, and vegetables. S'mores around a fire followed that. We counted out early, since I had Ragnar in the morning. Good thing too, since we slept TERRIBLY. That bed was truly awful. I couldn't sleep past 6am.



September 28 we ordered some hot chocolate to the room, and hung out for a bit. I enjoyed the balcony in the robe provided by the hotel. We had breakfast at the hotel, courtesy of my company. Standard eggs/bacon/potatoes breakfast, but we also split a Brioche French toast plate. We left around 10:30. I stopped at Smith's for ice for my food during Ragnar, and drove straight to Emigration Canyon for the race. Details are in [this post]. I ended my day with Big Daddy's pizza, Crumbl, and watched Dark Phoenix. I slept so soundly that night, without sleeping pills or ibuprofen/naproxen. It was beautiful.


September 29 was a cloudy day, perfect for reading, candles, Lord of the Rings, and couch sitting. I went to an hour of church though, where I sat next to a vocal responder who said "hm" after every sentence the speaker said. He was also fidgety, and rested his arm on me. I wasn't a fan. But the rest of that day was pretty low key. I got groceries since I didn't have the chance on Saturday. I made potato soup and rolls for Matthew and me. He came over around 6:30 to do laundry and have dinner with me. We watched Lord of the Rings: Two Towers after finishing the first one.



September 30 I had a normal day of work and had dinner at Sweeto Burrito with Kathryn. We had a good chat. I went home and took a bath and went to bed before 10 since I was up at 5am.



Other things of note in September:

I ran a Facebook challenge group from September 16-20 focused on five habits (track your food, drink more water, eat more protein, eat more veggies, stop when full). It was fun to see everyone's light bulb moments and see everyone get back up after daily challenges. Some cool comments I received:
- "It has made me more aware of the areas I need to work on."
- "Documenting my habit, because I am more thoughtful in my pursuit. And the accountability of reporting really helped me improve in a couple of habits."
- "I increased my veggie in take, and really noticed I’ve gotten much more consistent with my water intake."
- "I loved the tips from Janae, the motivation quiz and the habits themselves. I love that it wasnt a list of can'ts and don'ts. It was about incorporating good things which really fits where I'm at right now. I had a baby last Saturday and I committed to the group without knowing whether I'd still be pregnant or not but it didnt matter because it wasn't a crazy diet just healthy habits that i could do pregnant or not, breastfeeding or not. I also really enjoyed everyone reporting on their day regardless of what kind of day it was. Sorry, I didn't pick one favorite thing"
- "Favorite thing was the daily check ins. It made you take time out of my day to truly reflect on my food and water intake. Often times, if I thought I did poorly, this would show me that hey I actually didn’t do too bad. I also noticed some trends in my food intake when stressed, really trying, or sick. Kind of shed some light on what healthy habits come easier to me versus which ones I have to be more mindful of."
- "It was good to see that I’m not alone in the struggle but also see everyone giving great effort! You guys are awesome!"
- "The last pregnancy definitely changed my body a bit. I've got to get back to working out so I can get used to it. Your Facebook group week really helped me get things started. So thank you!"

I also had a lot of really great words of affirmation come in during a week that was particularly weird for me (September 23-25).
- My friend Tania sent me a long, thoughtful text in response to [this blog post] that I felt strongly about writing. It was so nice to get that text, and reaffirmed that I need to share my thoughts and feelings, not just for myself, but for others who benefit from and connect to what I write.
- Brionna texting me to say my blog was really well-written, and that she passed my blog along to people who needed it.
- My old roommate Lindsey, who said she's always looked up to me as a person who is strong and accepting. That was a beautiful thing to hear.
- My friend Joyce wrote me a text about my blog, telling me that my blog was "relatable. Relevant. Something that every single person needs to know/read. You have a way with words, Janae. Write a freaking book already!"

I really needed all these words of love when they came to me. I'm grateful people are so generous with their kindness.

Books I read this month:
- To All the Boys I've Loved Before by Jenny Han (audiobook)
- Where'd You Go, Bernadette? by Maria Semple
- The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John Gottman (audiobook)
- Wildflower by Drew Barrymore (audiobook)

I write a short entry in my journal every single night, but it's fun to do these posts to look back at my month as a whole. Overall, I feel like it was a month of challenges and growth in my relationship with Matthew. We had some tough moments, as we were both a little emotional with all of the things going on, but I think we did a good job coming together even though every natural instinct in me wants to pull away when things get hard.

I have so much to be grateful for: my health, my friendships and relationships, my job, my family, and so many other things. All weirdness considered, September was a good month.

In October, I have lots of Cornbelly's dates planned with Rachel and Matthew, which takes care of lots of fall bucket list items (corn maze, pumpkin patch, s'mores, hayride, roast marshmallows, drink hot cocoa). The donut taste-off is this Friday (woohoo!), General Conference this weekend, dinner at Brittney's house on Sunday, a Yelp event with Brittney on the 8th, Author Con on the 19th, and hopefully some other fall bucket list items (make caramel apples, bake a pumpkin treat, watch Halloween movies, and carve a pumpkin). I'm looking forward to making some good memories this month.

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