June GBOMB
Good
Floors. Of course! Having our carpet ripped out, getting LVP in the common areas, and new carpet in the bedrooms, feels SO good. I'm still not over it. I'm not sure how to have it feel as clean as I'd like. I'm grateful past Janae bough a Eufy RoboVac because we run that thing every day, and the amount it picks up on a daily basis is shocking and maddening. Mostly fur, of course. I've tried to Swiffer mop it weekly, but it is so time consuming. Still, I love how it looks, and am eager to get new furniture, new light fixtures, and get our cabinets painted.
Savings. A couple weeks ago I decided I needed to make my own beverages at home and stop giving Starbucks all my money. So I've been only once a week the last couple weeks. It wasn't a goal I set. It wasn't anything I said out loud. I just decided and have stayed committed. I also get more Swig in the summer, which I shouldn't admit to. But it still isn't as frequent as my Starbucks trips were, so I'll allow myself the indulgence in the warm weather.
Sleep. AJ wakes me up just about every night by crying out in his sleep, either dreaming or awake. But for the most part, he's been sleeping until 6:30 and closer to 7:00 a lot of mornings, which is a huge improvement from before.
Home organization. Doing the floors pushed a lot of things forward. I cleared out and organized our laundry storage. I cleared out and organized the balcony storage. We re-did the entry closet with shelves all the way across, and organized it as a pantry. I cleaned the fridge thoroughly. I have cleaned all the blinds in the house. Lots and lots of donations and garbage trips. We got rid of our coffee table. It feels good.
 |
| Balcony storage cleared out (I had to move things back in after this) |
A haircut. I cut 3 inches off my hair on Saturday the 29th. I had been wanting a haircut for months, but Matthew works most Saturdays. It isn't a dramatic change that anyone else notices. But I feel it.
Consistency in exercise. I have been doing Fitbliss Lifting Club since February, at-home workouts. It's been fun to switch it up each month and push myself to do hard things.
The pool. I'm grateful we have one. It's crazy how much we've been already in the month of June (8x). AJ has gotten very brave. I can't decide if I'd rather have him afraid of the water or fearless. He wants to continually jump off the side and dunk all the way under water, and he feels like he doesn't need me there.
Daycare. We've been taking AJ to an in-home daycare for a little over a month now. He seems to really like it, other than his attachment struggles lately. While I don't like paying for daycare, I'm grateful for such affordable options close by our home.
Bad
Debit cards. I don't know what is going on with me. After having my debit card used fraudulently in January, my new debit card fell out of my pocket at the food truck roundup (but it was turned in to the bank), and then two weeks ago I lost it again. After looking everywhere and checking all my pockets, I ended up having to go in and get a new one. Before this I've had the SAME debit cards from their issue to their expiration date, and never lost them. But this year has just been a doozy on the debit card front.
Reading. I've just been in a reading funk. I fell off my paperback goal in June, largely due to the chaos of the flooring project. What little downtime I did have, I decided I wanted to watch shows with Matthew instead. I think now that it's July, I will recommit and finish this paperback I started. I really like it, but I just lost momentum.
Stomach bug. After we had McDonald's as a family, AJ didn't feel great the next day and was whining all day at daycare for me or Matthew. That night, he woke up at midnight because he had puked and did diarrhea in his night time diaper. It was so sad. It took him another 4-5 days to completely clear it and have normal movements again. It was a first time for us having to do a night time load of laundry. Poor guy. Also I think it may have been a bug he caught, because he honestly didn't even really eat at McD's.
Rat race. Life feels hard sometimes. I work 40 hours a week, then when my work week is over, I often step into solo mom mode from Thursday to Sunday morning. I basically never get to sleep past 6 (during the week that's by choice for exercise, but weekends...). Anytime I leave the house, it's usually for the family--getting groceries or doing other errands. I just struggle sometimes being the default parent while also carrying the workload; having to make special and deliberate arrangements to get a break feels frustrating to me. I work hard to find the glimmers and practice gratitude. I just wish life weren't so busy; I feel like it is impossible to slow down while keeping a clean home.
On My Brain
AJ usually goes in the good category, and he probably always will be. But this month he's on my brain because he's had a couple of changes the last couple of weeks, where he's been very sad to leave me or Matthew. He normally is very attached to Matthew, but even this morning (July 1), when I left and he watched me out the window, he got very sad and said he wanted mama to hold him. He's had a couple of 40+ minute tantrums at my mom's house where he screams for me or Matthew. It's just really sad, and I wish I didn't have to leave him with anyone else. I'm normally pretty good at just accepting what is. But I know babies don't keep, and I know the best place he can be is with me or his dad. I wish with all of my being that it were an option financially. It's hard not to feel resentful or upset about it, especially with the way he is struggling. He also is very brave at the pool and loves to jump in and submerge himself in the water, but he doesn't know how to swim. I can't decide if I'd rather have a child who is afraid of the water or is too bold around the water.
 |
| He's getting so big |
Doula work. I can only commit to maybe one birth a month at the moment, where I don't take too much advantage of the flexibility I have at work. I'm trying to decide if I should set up a doula website or just make an Instagram and set up a basic pricing structure. I've done so many different things (personal training, nutrition coaching, teaching, etc.) that it's hard to believe that this will be financially fruitful for me. Really I just want to help women. But ALSO seeing women I know and love make choices that I have good reason to believe are higher risk, that results in them having traumatic birth experiences, makes me feel legitimately overwhelmed and stressed and worried. I am trying to figure out how to be an unbiased guide who provides information about risk without instilling fear, and without revealing my own bias. But any and all doulas I know feel the same way I do about so many interventions in western medical care. It's just a hard thing to navigate, especially with most people who put so much trust in the way things are done here, and it's always on my mind. I care too much, and just wish I didn't.
Breathing, teeth, palate, etc. I think I wrote about this before, but it's still on my brain a lot. After reading Breath by James Nestor, I was wondering how to strengthen my own jaw as I don't do a lot of the hard chewing he talks about in the book. My coworker suggested mastic gum! She chews it and says she watched her facial structure change. I'm also looking at Tooth Pillow for AJ. It's not recommended till age 3, and as far as I can see, he sleeps with his mouth closed. But his teeth are crowded, and I know that doesn't bode well for his adult teeth coming in. Just all the things to be planning for. Why is being a human so expensive?
Halfway point. We're halfway through the year. I set some goals I felt would be reachable:
- 2 minute breathing meditation: I've done super well at this. I did ruin my streak 2 or 3 times, but have gotten right back on track.
- 1 new restaurant a month. I haven't been super intentional about this but feel like it's happened just casually.
- 1-2 hikes with AJ - haven't done this yet. I think a lot about it.
- Read 5-10 min of a paperback at bedtime. I was doing great on this until the floor project. I need to get back on track.
- Weekly marriage check in. We've done OK at this. We skipped the last couple of weeks. We really shouldn't. It's better for me to talk about what's on my mind.
- One date per quarter. We went to a baseball game in Q2 because my mom babysat. I'm calling that a win!
Comments