The Jean Hole of Death
Today started out pretty good, you know... Tanner and I decided to go to the gym at 7 today instead of 6. So I got up and was extremely tired even though I had been sleeping for around 7 hours. I was woken up in the middle of a dream, so that whole complete REM thing is probably a factor. I started my normal routine at about 6:58 AM and did my lunges and calf raises. Tanner arrived, and we did the hip abductors, alternating turns. This dude had one more set to do on each machine and kind of messed up the flow of things. After that we did the leg curls and the quad guy, whatever that thing is called. Leg extensions! That's what they're called. Then we did the leg press to make our bums really hot. Then we did ab exercises and ten minutes or so of cardio.
Anyway I had a really great workout, and it was fun. I went home and got ready and was feeling good. It is an awesome hair day, mind you. I then left and dropped my movie off at Blockbuster.
After that, I decided I wanted to try one of those breakfast yogurt things from Jamba Juice because I have a gift card that Kristina Reish so kindly provided for me on my birthday. I was a little disappointed with the whole thing. I was one of two people in there, and it took forever, plus he forgot to put bananas on the top, I had to remind him to do it--I didn't pay almost $5 for you to gyp me on the bananas, fool. It didn't taste that good.
It was at this point that my day started going downhill. I went to Big! Lots and looked for a thank you card for my coworker who corrected my Spanish paper for a couple hours yesterday... I finally found one, but I didn't find a good gift for her. I realized as I was eating my little breakfast guy that the spoon was rubbing the inside of my top lip raw. Thanks, sharp plastic spoon, for giving me fun cuts inside of my mouth that will inhibit my kissing abilities. I wrote in the thank you card and drove to campus.
I just barely missed a good parking spot, this white car got to it before I did. It's OK though, it's a reading day so not many people are on campus. I walked my ever-so-long walk to work, and realized while walking that my feet were hurting really bad. I wanted to look cute today and wore my brown heels, which are normally reasonably comfortable. But not today. My little arch support guys must be flattened out or something because my toes were crunching into the front of my shoes. "Oh well, I can endure it for six more minutes," I thought, and continued walking.
I arrived at my office and placed some cookies and a card for Laura on her desk, while simultaneously knocking her keyboard wrist support thing onto the floor. I picked it up and went to take my coat off and sit down. As I was doing this, my hand brushed past my left back pocket, where it felt like my jeans had torn. "What the heck?" I thought. I stuck my left hand by my back pocket and discovered that, lo and behold, I could feel a large portion of my left buttcheek! Oh wow. That's right, a huge, glowing measure of my butt cheek was exposed through a hole in my jeans.
I was mortified. "Who had seen it?!" I thought. I have been to Jamba and Big! Lots and walked up 101 stairs to get to work with people behind me! I signed on to AIM and started typing frantically to Tanner about this disaster. He didn't answer, and I had to pee, so I went to the bathroom. I looked in the mirror and realized that if my shirt had been all the way down, probably no one would have noticed. You couldn't really see anything. But STILL! What if it wasn't all the way down?
It's a good thing almost no one was in Big! Lots, and that I stood with my back toward the wall in Jamba Juice, where there was also almost no one. But I have probably destroyed the innocent minds of the students at BYU who may or may not have seen it, depending on how much of it my backpack covered.
This is good motivation for me to wear granny panties and make the conversion in a few months to garments. I cannot even believe this. Is my butt really so big that it's bursting the seams of my jeans? How unbelievably sad.
Anyway, I'm at least laughing about it and not caring a whole lot because I don't think I'll be seeing any of those people who were behind me again, and even if I did, I wouldn't know it. They can forever remember me as the girl whose left butt cheek was hanging out of her jeans, and I'll just be impervious to the fact. I even told my coworkers, so they'll probably check as soon as I get up. But don't worry, I'll be holding my shirt down!
These are my favorite jeans, dang it.
Anyway I had a really great workout, and it was fun. I went home and got ready and was feeling good. It is an awesome hair day, mind you. I then left and dropped my movie off at Blockbuster.
After that, I decided I wanted to try one of those breakfast yogurt things from Jamba Juice because I have a gift card that Kristina Reish so kindly provided for me on my birthday. I was a little disappointed with the whole thing. I was one of two people in there, and it took forever, plus he forgot to put bananas on the top, I had to remind him to do it--I didn't pay almost $5 for you to gyp me on the bananas, fool. It didn't taste that good.
It was at this point that my day started going downhill. I went to Big! Lots and looked for a thank you card for my coworker who corrected my Spanish paper for a couple hours yesterday... I finally found one, but I didn't find a good gift for her. I realized as I was eating my little breakfast guy that the spoon was rubbing the inside of my top lip raw. Thanks, sharp plastic spoon, for giving me fun cuts inside of my mouth that will inhibit my kissing abilities. I wrote in the thank you card and drove to campus.
I just barely missed a good parking spot, this white car got to it before I did. It's OK though, it's a reading day so not many people are on campus. I walked my ever-so-long walk to work, and realized while walking that my feet were hurting really bad. I wanted to look cute today and wore my brown heels, which are normally reasonably comfortable. But not today. My little arch support guys must be flattened out or something because my toes were crunching into the front of my shoes. "Oh well, I can endure it for six more minutes," I thought, and continued walking.
I arrived at my office and placed some cookies and a card for Laura on her desk, while simultaneously knocking her keyboard wrist support thing onto the floor. I picked it up and went to take my coat off and sit down. As I was doing this, my hand brushed past my left back pocket, where it felt like my jeans had torn. "What the heck?" I thought. I stuck my left hand by my back pocket and discovered that, lo and behold, I could feel a large portion of my left buttcheek! Oh wow. That's right, a huge, glowing measure of my butt cheek was exposed through a hole in my jeans.
I was mortified. "Who had seen it?!" I thought. I have been to Jamba and Big! Lots and walked up 101 stairs to get to work with people behind me! I signed on to AIM and started typing frantically to Tanner about this disaster. He didn't answer, and I had to pee, so I went to the bathroom. I looked in the mirror and realized that if my shirt had been all the way down, probably no one would have noticed. You couldn't really see anything. But STILL! What if it wasn't all the way down?
It's a good thing almost no one was in Big! Lots, and that I stood with my back toward the wall in Jamba Juice, where there was also almost no one. But I have probably destroyed the innocent minds of the students at BYU who may or may not have seen it, depending on how much of it my backpack covered.
This is good motivation for me to wear granny panties and make the conversion in a few months to garments. I cannot even believe this. Is my butt really so big that it's bursting the seams of my jeans? How unbelievably sad.
Anyway, I'm at least laughing about it and not caring a whole lot because I don't think I'll be seeing any of those people who were behind me again, and even if I did, I wouldn't know it. They can forever remember me as the girl whose left butt cheek was hanging out of her jeans, and I'll just be impervious to the fact. I even told my coworkers, so they'll probably check as soon as I get up. But don't worry, I'll be holding my shirt down!
These are my favorite jeans, dang it.
Comments
that is terribly embarrassing. but i do doubt anyone noticed. i remember once in high school i wore these pants to school and then realized half way through the day there was a big brown spot on my butt. i had clearly sat in something and a brown spot in the butt region is not a good mix. i was embarrassed.