I Have a Problem...

Oh hey, guys! I'm back. And this blog post is going to rock your world. That's right. This one has been rolling around in my brain for a while. We'll see how it all works out.

See, I have this problem.

I can't seem to find a chap stick that I like. Once I do, I can't find it anywhere anymore.

After going through so many of these, I have managed to concoct a list of characteristics that I need to have a successful relationship with my chap stick. First, let me explain what has been wrong with each of these.

Ah, Burt's Bees. HONEY lip balm, no less. Everyone swears by this stuff. I thought for certain it had to be good. I haven't tried this in a very long time. I gave up on it after a few applications of it. From what I can recall, I don't like the way it goes on--kind of rough at first. And after using it, my lips felt dry. It created a need for more chap stick. That is not what I want. I don't want a product that makes me need it! Customer manipulation, people! There's also kind of a weird aftertaste to it. I do like that it has natural ingredients.

Next, Hawaiian Tropic Vanilla Mint. To be honest, I actually do like a few things about it. The flavor is good. It has SPF in it, which is great. But it also makes me want to save it for the summer. If I can recall from the last time I used it, I have to apply this one too frequently. I like the way it goes on--super smooth. It might also have made my lips feel dry after wearing off. Again, I can't handle the need to use more.

Hawaiian Tropic Aloe Vera. This one is a winner, all except for one thing: the flavor. Let me be clear when I say flavor. I don't mean I lick my chap stick off, OK? I mean when you put it on, or when you breathe in, or smack your lips, you get a hint of your lip flavor in your mouth. You know what I'm sayin'? So this one has SPF, goes on smooth, and makes my lips feel better. BUT I don't like how it tastes.

All three of these ChapSticks are going to go together, because the problem is the same in all of them: ChapStick makes me need more ChapStick. That is not OK. I love the flavor of the mint one, and the way it rolls on. I am not a fan of the cherry flavor. But about 30 minutes later, I need more ChapStick. Lose.

Yes to Carrots. I found this stuff at Wal-Mart on my way out. I thought I'd give it a try because A) it's mint, and B) they called it lip butter. But really, it's made for hippies like me with natural ingredients, paraben-free, and no petroleum. I like to try natural things. I used this one for a day, and never used it again. Last night, I pulled this one out of my purse on accident, thinking it was a different chap stick. I rolled it on, and soon realized something was wrong. It didn't feel right. An hour later, my skin felt like it was falling off my lips. Flaky and dry. I needed more chap stick. People, that ain't right. This stuff destroys my poor lip skin.

Eos mint. This one was recommended to me at the beginning of the year by a friend's date. He said he liked it. I like it too. But we have a few issues. One is the cost. This stuff is pricey for me. I'm cheap. Another problem is the size of it. I don't like how big it is, and how much room it takes up. I can't just slip it into my pocket. Another, and this sounds shallow, but the color of the case makes it prone to get dirty. I mean, just look at the hand dirt all over my chap stick! This one is flattened out and basically not usable now because of that. Since you're supposed to "pucker up" to apply it, it makes it useless toward the end.

Eos strawberry. I bought this because I liked the Eos mint enough, and thought I'd try another flavor. I love the flavor of this one. Strawberry has been my go-to lip flavor since I was an adolescent. But I used this before I went to bed one night (yeah, that's what I do), and woke up with dry lips the next day. So for whatever reason, the ingredients in the strawberry flavor don't match the ones in the mint, and this one makes me need more chap stick.

Nivea Kiss of Moisture. I don't know why I haven't tossed this yet. It's basically gone. I really like this chap stick. I feel it is worth the money (a little more than average price). It hydrates my lips, and I like the texture as I put it on. However, I don't like the flavor. It's not fruity. It's not medicated (which is good). It almost is like "unscented" lotion, how you feel like you want to put on a fragrance after using it. I want to have a flavor in my mouth after putting this one. So I love it, but haven't bought it in years because of the flavor.

Vaseline Lip Therapy. I used this because it came highly recommended by my lovely friend Whitney. Plus, what a cute little container, right? The tiniest little Vaseline you ever saw. I liked what this stuff did for my lips. I liked the smooth Vaseline texture. But then I had two problems. One was the flavor (yep, just like Nivea and Hawaiian Tropic), but the other is that after a couple of days using it, I started to break out around my mouth. Thus, I haven't used this one in a very long time.

Aromatic Spa. I got this for free at a hotel back in 2011. I love, love, love this chap stick. Here's the problem: I got it at a hotel back in 2011. I will not drive to Park City to buy this stuff. I won't do it. In desperation, I have used my nail to scrape the remnants out of this chap stick. Seriously. Look.

What? I wanted to make it last for as long as possible. Now, I will mention that the flavor of this was not great. It has a hint of peppermint, and is made with essential oils. I think the "therapy" aspect of it made it tolerable. I only used it before sleeping, and my lips always felt great the next morning.

Strawberry lip balm. I purchased a set of two lip balms out of desperation, hoping that these might work. I got them at the Dollar Tree. And if you know Dollar Tree, you know their stock is pretty inconsistent. So chances are, I will never be able to buy this stuff again. Too bad, because I really like it. It makes my lips feel better, and I don't need to use it. I have a small complaint about the almost too-natural strawberry scent of it. I'm not sure how to describe it. It's not bad enough for me to stop using, though. I will until it's gone. The size isn't pocket-worthy on this one either. Finally, I have to use my pinky nail to dig this stuff out. I prefer a stick that I can glide on. All of this can be overlooked due to its performance so far.

I purchased the Perfect Peppermint lip balm a few nights ago because it was included in a 5 for $5 special at Ulta. I like the flavor; mint is always good. It does have a strange aftertaste/aroma about it. It's kind of like some other scent, like a lotion fragrance. I like the application of it. It hasn't dried my lips out or made me need more of it. It isn't made primarily from natural ingredients, but so far, it's pretty good. It has a seasonal design, which isn't ideal. But I'll probably use it until it's gone.

After all of these strikeouts, you should probably be informed as to how I'm measuring these. This is my favorite chap stick in the entire world.

That's right. I picked this bad boy up at Big! Lots a few years ago (like, in 2010), for $1. I went back shortly thereafter and bought 2-3 more because I loved it so much. Naturally, it hasn't been back at the store since, and I have since used all of my beloved Maui Mike's Pina Colada lip balm. If I had known the repeated chap stick failures that lay before me at the time, I probably would've bought many more. I had no idea the journey to find a decent lip balm would be so treacherous. 

Since this one set the bar so high, let's make a list of its qualities: the qualities of a perfect lip balm. 

My perfect lip balm:

1. Glides on smooth

2. Has a good flavor, without an aftertaste

3. Has SPF

4. Can slip into my pocket; small in size

5. Moisturizes my lips as a permanent fix, without making me need more

6. Inexpensive

7. Natural ingredients like Aloe Vera, Vitamin E, and bees' wax

8. Stick form (not having to use finger or nail to get it out)

And this, my friends, is why I've put this obscure chap stick on my Amazon wish list. I am secretly hoping to get several of them for Christmas this year.