February GBOMB

Good

Weather. So many spring-like days in February I got to be outside with AJ. I know winter goes through April, so I just do my best to hang onto the sunshine and good weather where I can get it. 

Valentine's Day. I love Valentine's Day. I sent over 35 texts to people to tell them things I love about them. Some kind, generous people text me back and say such lovely things. That's not why I text people, but it's really nice to receive. 

Lifting. I signed up for Fitbliss lifting club this month. I've been crushing it. I've tried to progress each week with what I have at home. I haven't missed a workout. 

AJ. He is obsessed with the laundry. It is so funny. He can stand there and watch almost a whole cycle. It's a top loader, so he needs a stool. But I love it. He is talking so much. I love that he calls tomatoes "marens." I love that he says bye and goodnight to everything, and says, "see you yayer." He's finally started saying "yuh you." He's just so fun. I love him. 

High Fitness. I've been going every Saturday. It's been so fun. I just am feeling more and more like myself. I can't keep up the way I used to. But I do what I can and try to have fun. 

Yearly goals. I've been crushing it. I have a 60 day streak of closing all my Apple watch rings (even after increasing my move goal). I have a 60 day streak of meditating on my app and watch. I've been keeping up with a paperback per month. I am 6 books ahead of schedule for my reading goal this year. We've mostly been good about weekly couple check-ins. I've been visiting more than one new restaurant a month. I just feel really good about having set some goals, and making progress toward them. 

My birthday. I'm grateful for my health, my growth, and my relationships. I'm so grateful for everyone who came to the theater for my birthday. Argylle was pretty silly, but I felt so special that people took a couple hours out of their weekend to come and celebrate me. It made me so happy. 

Bad

General overwhelm. Work has been crazy lately--almost unmanageable. We still haven't gotten a new assistant hired after the last one left in September. The assistant job alone wears all the hats. So wearing all those hats plus my training coordinator role which seems to be rapidly expanding, feels like a lot. I have had a lot of anxiety and feelings of panic lately. Like I mentally feel unwell sometimes. 

No photos? I just haven't been taking many photos this month. It makes me sad to look back and wish I had more photos. 

I've been ignoring my social media limits a lot lately, not adhering to my 45 minute limit the way I did in January. I want to get back on the horse. I just get caught up reading people's stories and wanting more information. Sometimes I use up all my time just looking for a specific post (like last weekend when I was looking for a recipe). So then 45 minutes doesn't feel fair because I was trying to find something. 

Potty training roller coaster. AJ has done super well the last week or so. Like, incredibly well. No accidents, and self-initiating. I have put him into pull-ups for naps and night time. He's hit and miss with nights, and has been totally dry after all his naps. It's been a roller coaster of frustration, but he's killing it lately. 

On My Brain

Intentional. On my birthday and Valentine's day, when people shared kind words with me... Several people said I am "intentional." I looked back at my new year's goal blog post, and I mentioned being intentional as a goal. It's been really encouraging and humbling to know that this is how some people think of me. It's on my brain all the time--what do I do to be intentional? 

Blood work analysis. I paid with my HSA to get elective blood work done, and to have a Team Fitbliss associate, David Herrera, review my results. He noted that my DHEA is low, my vitamin D is not awesome, my fasting insulin is high, and that my cortisol is very, very high. He recommended a few things: morning sunlight, cold exposure (cold shower, windows down driving), fatty fish 5x a week, and keeping my phone out of my bedroom at night (among other things). I haven't been perfect, but I definitely have been trying. I'm 6 days strong on cold shots at the end of my shower, bought salmon packets and cans, plus fresh salmon at the store today (March 2), and have left my phone on the counter almost every night since I watched his video review. It was emotional to watch the video because I could just feel that things were off (insulin and cortisol), and it was very validating. It's also emotional because of the weight of responsibility when I have been told what to do. Add to this that I've started listening to Why We Get Sick which is about the role that insulin resistance plays in basically every common condition. I have a lot to learn, but I'm hoping some consistent changes will help me feel better. 

Decluttering. I just really want to go through the whole house and throw things away (donate lots). I need to box up AJ's small clothes. I want to go through under the bed. I want to make this condo a happier place for me because honestly I just feel pretty miserable about it a lot of the time. I am ready for a change. 

Money. We are getting a new water heater soon. Then we need a new furnace. And we need new flooring. And I want to paint the cabinets. Etc. etc. etc. Why is everything so expensive? Kroger brand lunch meat was $1.99 forever. It is now $3.99. It is LUNCH MEAT. Outrageous. 

Saw this video the other day and have been thinking a ton about it. She so concisely says what is problematic about not having an education or career experience to fall back on. I want nothing more than to be a stay at home mom and don't have that privilege right now. But also, I'm grateful for the experience and education I have that can always provide for me and my son/future kids if needed. 

Overall I think February was a decent month for me. I have lots to be grateful for and lots to look forward to, and I do my best to appreciate the present, as stressful as it can be.