Janae Says...

"What is a cynic? A man who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing." - Oscar Wilde I've thought a lot about cynicism lately because of an experience I had with someone. Then I thought even more about it after watching the amazing movies Before Sunrise and Before Sunset . In the former, Ethan Hawke plays Jesse, a young man who has recently been burned by a long-time girlfriend of his. Throughout the movie, he is cynical about nearly every romantic thing he and Julie Delpy (Celine) encounter. He tells her not to believe the palm reader, says that the poet plugged in the word they gave him, and displays an overall doubtful attitude about all things romantic. In the latter, Julie Delpy's character has traded places with Ethan Hawke's. After nine years, she has been hurt far too many times and has felt the loss of Jesse's love too strongly to feel hopeful or romantic anymore. At one point, she says she has never gotten married because she never tho...

Celine: I guess when you're young, you just believe there'll be many people with whom you'll connect with. Later in life, you realize it only happens a few times. Jesse: And you can screw it up, you know, misconnect. --- Celine: I always feel like a freak because I'm never able to move on like *snap* this, you know? People just have an affair or even entire relationships. They break up and they forget. They move on like they would have changed random cereals. I feel I was never able to forget anyone I've been with because each person has their own specific qualities. You can never replace anyone. What is lost is lost. Each relationship when it ends really damages me. I never fully recover. That's why I'm very careful with getting involved because it hurts too much. Even getting laid. I actually don't do that. I will miss in a person the most mundane things. I'm obsessed with the little things. Maybe I'm crazy but when I was a little girl, my mom ...

"When you talked earlier about after a few years how a couple would begin to hate each other by anticipating their reactions or getting tired of their mannerisms—I think it would be the opposite for me. I think I can really fall in love when I know everything about someone—the way he’s going to part his hair, which shirt he’s going to wear that day, knowing the exact story he’d tell in a given situation. I’m sure that’s when I know I’m really in love." A guy I dated a few years ago told me that I need to watch this movie, especially before I get married. I understand why now.

Seriously, guys. Hands down, one of the best concerts I've EVER been to. I am a new fan of outdoor concert venues. I loved Death Cab outside last year at Thanksgiving Point, and I loved Incubus outside this year at USANA Amphitheatre. Granted, it was over 90° yesterday. I was not a happy camper in the heat. We got to the show around 6:30. It was supposed to start around 7:30. We endured the heat and the opening band which I didn't care for. The sun didn't go down till like 9. So that was almost 3 hours of standing in the heat, dripping sweat, getting progressively un-cute after trying so hard to look cute for Brandon. Thankfully though, I got to enjoy Incubus when the sun went down. What was SO great about being outside was that we could count on fresh air and an occasional breeze. At indoor venues, if it's hot outside, it's hot AND stuffy inside. So this was way nicer. Not only that, but I was up at the front! No one was blocking my 5 foot tall view. We were next t...

Next summer, I am going to celebrate my graduation by taking an Elizabethtown-style road trip across the country to Memphis, Tennessee where I can celebrate the roots of all things rock 'n roll, country, and blues, while consuming amazing southern food and accomplishing my life goal of visiting Elvis's Graceland. That's right. Except from Provo, it's only 1,555 miles to Graceland.

I have to say, I have very strong feelings about this new acronym that is spreading around like wildfire. FML = F--- My Life. Now, I understand that we have complaints. I get that things don't always go right. I have trouble finding the positive sometimes, but I can honestly say that I do try to find it when I have the strength. So this overwhelmingly negative little acronym really rubs me the wrong way. "I just got called into work. FML." Wow, seriously? In this economy, you're complaining about your job? Do you know how many people have come into or called Blockbuster in the last week asking if we are hiring? I work A LOT. I have almost NO spare time this week because of how much I work. But it's better than sitting at home wishing I could find a job! "Something didn't go as well as I had hoped. FML." So do it better next time. Your whole life isn't in ruins because of a bad day. I think I mostly hate the statement because it's like a forfe...

Check me out! Two posts on nature's wonders. I did these while driving home. Probably not the safest, but I did my best to pay attention while enjoying God's paintings. :) As soon as I felt myself veering off to the side, I put the camera down. Worry not. Actually, for you worry warts, the closest I came to getting in an accident tonight was on University Parkway when I was paying complete attention and almost switched lanes into someone who was in my blind spot, which I recently discovered is REALLY bad in my grandma car. Therefore I probably drive better taking phone pictures than not. ;)

Well, in my generally happier, less dramatic, more eventful, non-single days, my blog was much better. I had funny experiences and observations to write about--like the vending machine eating my money for my Barq's today and having to get a refund! I didn't get very personal, and this wasn't too much like a journal except for the important events some people care to know about. I'm getting back to it, folks. How, you ask? With this: Chyeah! A journal! A really cute one, might I add. This guy is my new best friend. I tote him with me everywhere I go--both jobs, home, wherever. At least that's the plan, and that's been the true story for the last few days, anyway. I recently decided that I have a LOT of thoughts. I also recently realized that to keep my thoughts to myself is a fast track to major depression. So instead of vocalizing my thoughts to others who may not care, instead of IMing it out, instead of relying on people who may misunderstand me, I decided to ...

I finished Dicey's Song yesterday. I'm now working on A Solitary Blue , and I'll follow that up with Elie Wiesel's Night . The shoulder is feeling better although I am still in a bit of pain, depending on how I place my arm. I've been having withdrawals from my shows this last week. Gene Simmons wasn't on on Sunday night, and Jon & Kate wasn't on on Monday either. I've been working on a 500 piece puzzle and don't have much left, but stupidly, I left the hardest part for last. This will be the first one I actually finish, so I'm determined! Just as a note, my playlist on my blog (and Facebook, and MySpace, haha) changes a lot. I usually will put songs on that either I am really into at the moment, or (currently) that represent certain feelings and chapters in my life. Sometimes my songs are even directed at/dedicated to people. So if you ever care to pay attention and check out my actual blog, I thought I'd let you all know. I've been...

I've been trying desperately to eat at home more in the last little while. The last few days I've slacked pretty bad--Chili's and Pei Wei. But I will be back to eating at home--I bought some basic groceries yesterday. I must force myself. I'm not in any large amount of debt or anything, but I really want to see my bank account grow, for a change. My spending habits were really, really bad in the last few months, and my bank account balance shrunk rapidly due to my larger-than-normal credit card bills (really expensive concerts, music, food, etc). Honestly, my balance was much, much lower than I have seen it in a while, which is sad, given the fact that I'm working WAY more than normal (48 hours/wk). Truly, my balance was dangerously low--I was REALLY bad. But due to recent increased self-control I will finally get caught up and spend less money than I make, and hopefully I'll have a good financial starting point for August 19th when I start teaching. However, I ...

Joel: I can't see anything that I don't like about you. Clementine: But you will! But you will. You know, you will think of things. And I'll get bored with you and feel trapped because that's what happens with me. Joel: Okay. Clementine: ... Okay. Fewer The Notebook s. More Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind s. kthxbai.

On Monday night I got back from the gym, showered, and sat at the table to work on a puzzle while I waited for a hot dog to cook. I put a Diet Coke Plus in the freezer so it'd get cold in a hurry, thinking I'd just take it out in 40 minutes or so. I forgot. My bad. On Tuesday night, I got back from Institute and there was a note on the white board: "The freezer needs to be cleaned!" I was really confused by this, like, "Well, then clean it?" Then I opened the freezer, saw the frozen Coke explosion, and was like, "Oh yeeeaahhh... I forgot about that." I took all the stuff out and cleaned the freezer, laughing the whole time. I thought it was so funny. I doubt my roommate was as amused, given her white board note. But you just have to laugh at these things sometimes. I wish I had taken pictures. Coke shards were all along the bottom shelf. Frozen Coke remnants were on the ice rack. They were around the sides and top where the door is. They were on my...

I honestly was going to title this blog, "So Blessed," but then I remembered TAMN and started laughing at myself. So I thought I'd just go with it completely. Really though, I woke up so happy today for some reason. I felt completely rested, which is an odd thing. I got to eat dinner with my good friend Brianne last night, which I felt like I hadn't done in a while. I love to talk to someone and feel like they understand you and get what you're saying and like you don't have to worry about being misunderstood. The food was surprisingly good--my past experiences at Applebee's haven't been so fun. But I got this delicious Club House Grill sandwich and fries which totally hit the spot after a 903-calorie burning workout. Institute was AMAZING. We had a substitute, Brother Gibbons. He reminded me of Rhino the hamster from Bolt , with all of his crazy energy. He was so out there, but his style was totally what I needed to be excited about institute. He was...