Saturday, May 26, 2012

Sometimes, Always, Never: First Date Touching

My friend Danica has a series of blog posts wherein she does fashion yeses and nos. She makes me laugh, and sometimes I have seen myself represented in the things she says not to do. But that's why it's funny, right?

So today I've decided to write a blog about touching on the first date. I'd like to preface this post by saying I am just not a very physically affectionate person. I can be, if I am in a comfortable relationship, and that person needs my affection to feel loved. But my natural inclination is not to touch or hug people when I see them, family included. This makes my life very difficult and oftentimes uncomfortable. So here we go.


Reach for the hand. This is if there is some serious chemistry going on, and you both get the mutual vibe that you like each other.

Men, this is a good time to add that if you're going to do the hand holding thing, make sure your hands aren't clammy. This is a huge turn off. To everyone. Everyone.

That guy has a hairy arm.

You can also sometimes make the move of putting your hand on the small of her back. That might be OK. It depends on the situation, and on whether you're being pushy.


Extend your elbow. This is not too forward but is also extremely classy and old-fashioned. I'm a fan. I think this gesture is incredibly gentlemanly. If I didn't like you before, you probably gained 10 points this way.

It could lead to this!


On a first date, never lean in for the kiss. What is the harm in leaving that for another day? It builds anticipation. Plus you have to let someone's impression of you sink in. Come on. That's too much pressure, and you've let on that you have weird expectations when you take a girl out.

Never tickle a girl's knee, or touch her leg at all. It's awkward.

Never run your hand up the back of a girl's head to muss her hair. Seriously. She did her hair, you should not touch it. Also, that's a potentially passionate move, hands all up in each other's hair in the middle of a hot moment. Not appropriate.

And for me, never touch my face. I'm not kidding. I don't know you, and I don't want your hand germs on my face.

All of this is a serious matter of success in dating, gentlemen. Let's just go the patient, gentlemanly route, shall we?

1 comment:

Larissa said...

This would be a great Guest Post on my blog. Or one like it. Just saying;-) The invitation is open if you ever wanna!
I, last week, had a friend lean over to me and say, "I saw (boy) just touch your knee...I hope he doesn't move too fast for you." I was shocked...I had no idea a slight touch to the knee could illicit that kind of response...but looks like you agree! I'm the odd man out here!