Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Naked Men Everywhere


So, can I ask? What is the deal with guys taking pictures of themselves shirtless in the mirror?

I mean. Pictures in the mirror? Guilty. Right here. Easy to get a good angle on myself and know the picture will be decent.

But shirtless?

OK, so I’m sure lots of guys do this. Probably most of them do at some point, actually.

The problem is what they do with these pictures.

The other day I was texting a guy I had met online. He only had one picture that showed his face very unclearly and at an odd angle. The other two pictures were of his body (one was of him leaping up above the shoreline at the beach, how very sly of him).

While we texted, he asked for some pictures. I sent him two of my face that I had left in my phone (I went on a deleting spree a couple of weeks ago).

I asked him for some in return because I couldn’t tell what he looked like in his pictures.

He sent one normal one.

Then he sent one of his shirtless self from his neck down to his waistline.

Really, though? Really?

He asked if I got both pictures, saying that he sent two. Here’s my response, directly quoted: “Yep, I got both. Second wasn’t totally necessary but whatev ;) haha.”

See the little wink and haha at the end there? That was me making light of the fact that I was basically calling him a douche bag. But I don’t have to tell you that, right? You know me.

I’m sure I also don’t have to explain that a majority of this conversation was about physical appearance. He asked if I have a 6 pack, what my best physical assets are, and stuff like that. I repeatedly said things such as, “I don’t think my best assets are physical,” or “If you’re this focused on physical appearance, you might be disappointed.”

He also proved several times throughout the conversation that he wasn't super intelligent--totally disregarding  my punctuation and misinterpreting several things that I said. Just not the brightest crayon. 

The conversation ended pretty early, for which I was glad. Because he wanted to “hang out.” Needless to say, after texting him for that little while, I decided I’d rather punch him in the face than hang out with him.

Guys, for real… Keep your shirts on. If you insist on taking half naked photos of yourself, then please don’t send them to anyone. Especially me. I’d rather you be chubby and keep your shirt on.

Thanks for your consideration.

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