Monday, July 18, 2011

Not My Type

One day toward the beginning of June, a young man instant messaged me on a dating website. I only saw one picture of him.

I responded to him. We had a pleasant conversation, where he actually asked prying questions that began to get on my nerves. Nevertheless, he seemed to be worth meeting. We exchanged phone numbers. We became Facebook friends. I saw more of his pictures, which were disappointing, to say the least.

A few days after that, he starts trying to set up a meeting time with me for when I returned to Salt Lake from California. I figured it'd be harmless to meet, even if I didn't find him very attractive.

We decided to meet for breakfast. I would have to drive up to his general vicinity, but he'd buy breakfast. I can handle that. I'll drive for free food.

During this brief conversation, though, he seemed confused as to "which one" I was. He asked for a picture. I sent him one. He said, "You look pretty. And slender? ;)" This was the second time he had brought up the possibility of my being slender, which, as we all know, I am not. I told him that I was not slender, and wouldn't want him to expect otherwise and be disappointed.

As if he had been thrown off by my non-thin stature, he said, "Well since I have never met you before, maybe we can just hang out?" I asked if breakfast counted as hanging out, and asked why the sudden change of plans.

He (we'll call him Llewellyn from here on out) started to complicate the situation, saying we could do something else, but he didn't want to go on a date because he didn't know me. Or we could still do breakfast if I wanted to pay for my own. I essentially said that I would not be driving twenty minutes to pay for my own breakfast. So we could do something inexpensive.

The conversation just got progressively more confusing and obnoxious. So I just stopped responding.

A few days later, he sent me a message on the website where we had originally started chatting. He asked for my name and number.

"Wow, this guy is completely lost," I thought to myself. I responded to his message with a brief synopsis as to how our text conversation regarding breakfast went. Llewellyn seemed surprised regarding my message: "You seem to be upset." Did I forget to mention that Llewellyn is a genius?

In the past several weeks, I have gotten multiple texts from him, asking for my name and a picture "because he had a new phone."

No, I really doubt that's the reason you have no idea who I am, Llewellyn. You're just totally clueless. I ignored his previous two or three messages.

A few days ago, I got yet another text. "Can I have a picture to save your contact information to my phone?"

I said, "Nope. Please delete me from your phone."

He said, "No problem. Not my type!"

I wonder how he knows that, if he doesn't even know what I look like. Bless his little heart. He just couldn't respond in a classy way to being shut down.


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