Saturday, February 27, 2010

110%

In the last several weeks, I'm feeling about 110% inadequate in just about everything I do.

I feel like I suck at both of my jobs. I've missed two meetings at school due to plain irresponsibility and forgetfulness. One time I left a meeting early because I forgot all of my stuff at home. I assigned a Holocaust research topic and a vocabulary word that got several parents angry at me. I was behind on grading for the last week. I am currently facing a huge internal resistance to do this week's lesson plans. I missed a meeting this morning at Blockbuster that I didn't know about; I almost broke into tears because I felt so dumb about it. I called in sick to both jobs yesterday and feel bad about it.

I suck at my calling. I've missed two Sundays' worth of pre- and post-church meetings due to being out of town and due to family stuff; I missed ward visits due to exhaustion; and I missed apartment visits the other night due to sickness.

I suck at being a friend and at serving people.

I suck at being nice.

I suck at listening.

I suck at being a sister.

I suck at interviews for jobs. I suck at caring about finding a new job.

I suck at dating.

Basically, I suck at life.

Time to hibernate.

2 comments:

Camille said...

Well this is the most false blog post I have ever read. Because you don't suck. You are amazing and beautiful and funny and kind and the list goes on! Don't ever forget it :)

Brianne said...

Whoa, whoa, whoa. You do not suck at anything. You are GREAT at everything! I know that you are stressed and overwhelmed, but don't let it get you down.

You care about your students so much and I know everything you assign has a strong rationale. Sometimes parents can't see the larger picture and are dumb.

We all miss meetings due to sickness and forgetfulness (i.e. missing a workshop that you signed up for). It will be okay!

You DEFINITELY don't suck at your church calling. I know that you work hard for those girls. Stop being so hard on yourself.

I love you...get happy!