I'm having some sad feelings that are bringing me down. I don't really want to publicly write about it. Instead I decided I should type some things I'm grateful for so that I can feel better.
1. American Idol. Sad as it sounds, I have something to work toward when Idol is on at night.
2. Heavy metal/screamo. I know many/most of you, my faithful readers and friends, listen to mellow music, as do I. But sometimes there's no other way for me to experience a healthy catharsis without some Thursday or Rage Against the Machine or whatever it be. Whatever feelings you have, there's music for it, so I'm grateful for that.
3. Sleep. I haven't been getting enough of it lately, and my body is exhausted. It's an interesting concept--sleeping. But I love it nevertheless.
4. Coupons. I don't believe that I am cheap, and I won't throw a fit over paying more for my name brand cereal. Some things are just worth it! But I love saving a few bucks here and there. I bought two signature sandwiches and two sodas at Hogi Yogi yesterday, which normally would have been $14-15. Instead I got all of that for $9. Woot! Love coupons.
I originally started my blog so I could feel better because I had forgotten the topic that popped into my head as I was walking to work. But I remembered as I was doing my three best things.
I've decided that as we progress in life, things never really seem to get easier. Maybe it's something like, "When I get out of school, I'll have so much time to do this or do that." Then I listen to my mother's to-do list, and I end up being grateful for my struggle at the moment.
I think it's important to be understanding and compassionate towards others no matter what phase you are at in life. While my mom or any other adult has their concerns, I have mine too. Whether they are more or less trivial isn't really relevant because the fact is that I am 21 years old, not 45. My struggles are proportioned to my age and my situation.
I got to thinking, you know, I was really stressed out in high school! I was thinking, "Wow, it's so much easier than my life now. I wish I could just go back and do assignments as simple as a review sheet." And then I realized, I had as much difficulty with those things then as I have with certain things now. So it would seem now that those experiences are over with that they are easier than what I am experiencing now, which is just not true. So when I'm 35 with kids to take care of, I'll probably think, "Wow, I wish I could just go back to college. It was so much easier." When it's not true. Different challenges are assigned to different stages of life.
Not sure where I'm going with this, really. I think just be grateful for the here and now, enjoy the ride, don't wish it away, and learn all you can. I'll keep trying. I hope I never say, "I can't wait till my kids are grown and out of my house," or "I can't wait till I have time to read all of those books I want to read." I'd rather appreciate the moments, and seize the little time that I have to do things that I love.
In case you were wondering, I do feel much better after writing!