Monday, January 3, 2011


Weird how when I think of my most romantic dates, they took place long after I had been dating somebody.

The love was already established. The happiness and security existed.

Then the evening was made romantic by whatever the situation was... The ambiance of whatever time or place or circumstance. Like romantic dates just amplified and brought to the surface our feelings for each other. Romance can't happen on first dates with strangers because there's no developed feeling to express. It just comes off as trying too hard and would create awkwardness in attempting to force serious romance.

I attach feelings to certain things, like weather. Different types of weather make me feel and remember different things. Music. Smells. Lighting. The way the sunlight looks, especially in the evening.

There have not been many moments in my life where I've been able to recognize the romance in the actual moment it occurred. But when I did, it was amazing. Like I wanted those seconds to last forever.

I'm itching for a romantic date right about now. To walk around in the freezing weather with someone and not be concerned about how cold I feel. To splurge on a nice dinner. To get dressed up and feel pretty. To hug and hug and hug and only let go because some outside factor forces you to. To not be able to come up with a reason not to smile.

I'm trying to remember the last time I experienced this. The most recent thing that came to my head was in, I believe, January 2009. Two years ago. Wow, that's kind of depressing.

I'm getting impatient.

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