Monday, January 17, 2011

Unstable and Ugly Person

You know, I was once called an unstable and ugly person. There were lots of other choice words used to describe me as well.

I struggled for a long time over that cruel piece of writing directed at me.

This blog was meant to inform everyone about how happy I am.

I guess I thought I would start by recalling those harsh words to decide if that really (was or) is the case. I thought it might provide a nice contrast to seriously evaluate myself.

I am happy because:

I devote my time to being well-planned so that I can teach really, really difficult students in spite of themselves.

I use up all my energy trying to teach them effectively and manage their behavior at the same time.

I work hard to keep grades up to date. 

I show mercy to them when they want to turn in work late.

I do my darnedest to get them to pass by handing them all the work that they're missing.

I have been working out regularly (380 calories in 35 minutes today, by the way, plus an upper body workout).

I have been keeping track of my food intake.

I have been doing my visiting teaching alone because my companion is MIA.

I was just called yesterday to be a visiting teaching supervisor (likely because of how devoted I am to making sure I do my visiting teaching).

I have been writing regularly on my blog.

I have been reading a talk out of the Ensign every night (mostly). I'm almost done with the priesthood session talks.

I got my temple recommend renewed and am excited to go to the temple. Just to sit there and feel peace.

I pray consistently, and a majority of the time my prayers consist of praying for others, and of thanking Heavenly Father for my blessings. 

I do my homework and go to school every Tuesday night, so I can learn even more about how to be a good teacher to such difficult students.

I let things go when I feel angry or frustrated--trying to always look at the bright side of situations. (For example: terrible drivers, an incorrect drive-thru order at almost midnight when I haven't eaten in 8 hours and haven't eaten out in weeks, etc.)

I've been listening to more music.

I've been eating at home, cooking a lot, and saving money--the only shopping I have done has been for groceries, or at Blockbuster with free coupons.

My brother went through detox and starts outpatient care soon.

Some of my other relatives are also receiving treatment.

The weather is 45 right now, and all the ice is almost melted!

I am going home next month.

I have a prospect... <3

I just seriously am always trying to be better, healthier, more productive, more thankful, more consistent. I am really imperfect, but I try so hard because that's where I find joy.

So at this moment in time, I've decided that I am (contrary to what was said to me a year and a half ago) a highly stable and acceptable person.

Now, if only I had a keyboard to practice piano...

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