Janae Says...

Christmas this year was much better than I expected. I'll be honest, I've had a hard time this year getting that warm Christmas feeling inside. I tried everything. I tried decorating, listening to Christmas music, having a Christmas party, Christmas baking, Christmas shopping... That feeling that was there even a few years ago was gone. It's hard to create that kind of serenity and happiness living alone, and it's hard to do it at home in California with so much noise and brothers lacking in Christmas spirit and enthusiasm. Nevertheless, it was a REALLY good day without problems or snags of any kind. I received -Pajamas and socks -Musical note wall decor -Dish drying mat -Spice rack -Knives -iPod alarm clock radio -Victoria's Secret undies -A long, brown sweater thing -Magic bullet -Soup bowl -Measuring cups -Scentsy burners and wax -a NOOK!!!! woot And that's just from my parentals. Jared got me a memory foam pillow--I was so happy about...

A song entitled "Howl" by Florence + the Machine has a fabulous line that I cannot get out of my brain... It goes like this: "I drag my teeth across your chest and taste your beating heart." Seriously? How awesome is that? I know, right? I wish I could write amazing song lyrics. Le sigh.

You know, I am a believer in that God gave us bodily and natural mechanisms to defeat the health issues we face on earth. I think the body is an amazing self-healing machine, and I think nature provides what our bodies cannot. On Wednesday I had a freak out episode. I do that once or twice a year, where it's that bad. I hadn't even thought of calming myself down, but I should have because I know that every time I freak out like that, I get sick. It's like my stress turns into a little virus ball and immediately spreads out. Thursday after school while I was doing more fruitless laboring on behalf of my students, I could feel that scratchy feeling in my throat. That one where you go, "Uh oh." I was pretty disappointed because I had been planning a little Christmas get together for Friday. I had much work to do and wanted the energy to really enjoy myself. So on Thursday, I took two Airborne tablets. And I had some lemon Echinacea tea (for "throat health...

Normal pizza order conversation: "Thank you for calling (insert name of pizza place here), what can I do for you?" "Hi, I'd like to place an order for pickup please." "OK, can I get your phone number, name, etc.?" OR "OK, order whenever you're ready." Retarded pizza order conversation a moment ago: "Thank you for calling (insert name of pizza place here), what can I do for you?" "Hi, I'd like to place an order for pickup please." "OK." "...." "...." "...." "...." "Do I need to give you my phone number or anything?" "No." "OK, then I want..." Like wow, are you kidding me dude? No, "Order whenever you're ready," or "What can I get for you?"??? Are we really going to sit in silence the rest of the night? Oh, right. The customer has to break the silence created by your insolence....

Perhaps going for a 20-minute run around the cemetery after not having worked out for many moons was not my best idea. --------------------------------------------------- Just some tips for the desperate... If the skin around your eyes gets really dry, itchy, and flaky, there's not a whole lot you can do. Here is a list of things I tried: 1. Cetaphil 2. Neosporin 3. Olive Oil 4. A + D 5. Cocoa butter lotion Of all of the above, A&D works the best. I had this Refresh stuff recommended to me, but it was too expensive and  not exactly what I was looking for. My eyes are still extremely dry. The end

It's time to spill the beans. The love of my life's name is... Neville Longbottom. Seriously. He's my homeboy. I LOVED the new Harry Potter film (which is awesome because 5 and 6 took me a few watches). I saw it tonight in a theater with only 6 other people in it. I had the best seat in the house. And I used my gift card. $0. It ended at a spectacular place for being cut in half. I was so excited and so anxious as the movie began. Because even though it was an anxiously awaited step in the Harry Potter film series, it was also a step closer to the end. Guys, I've been doing this since I was a teenager. I love Harry Potter. I really, really do. I feel like the characters are some of my closest friends and family. Especially Hagrid. I've been through tragedy and triumph with them. I've laughed with them and cried with them. And now it's going to be over. I think my heart will break on the night I see the last movie. Ugh. Will it ever! *sigh* ...

I tried my hand at Rice Krispie Treats tonight. They came out OK. I couldn't get the marshmallow to spread evenly. Not sure how to make that better in the future. Apparently they only stay good for a day or two tops. So I packaged up two for each of my TAs as a Christmas thank you. Cute, huh? I'm so nice. Pretty sure everyone wants to be my TA. For the last month or so I have really struggled in my faith. I won't get into it suffice it to say that troubles with my younger brother and other personal things have just made it really hard for me. I've felt my heart harden, felt a resistance to repent, felt my desire to go to church waning, felt the Spirit distancing itself from me, felt like prayer doesn't matter, and felt my scripture study decreasing in importance and frequency. I suppose we all go through times like this for different reasons. On Sunday I decided to fast for myself, for a change... To feel humbled, to be able to sincerely repent, to have...

Boy: you know how you don't write someone every day for a year and then build them a dream house? Janae: yes. Boy: you also don't meet someone by coincidence who used to live in the same house.. 600 miles aways.. and end up both english teachers with similar personalities. and you also don't go on tour with bon jovi.. and become friends with pete wentz. so those movies might be on to somethin :)

Monday: work, dinner (slow cooked), and a movie (Letters to God) Tuesday: work till 3:15, class till 7:00, Glee till 8:30, not home till 9:20. Wednesday: work, dinner and hang out with Brianne Thursday: work, dinner with Rachel, Transsiberian Orchestra concert till 11 PM. Friday: work. I'm looking forward to doing NOTHING tomorrow night. Though, my apartment is a wreck so I should probably do something about that. Saturday I am finally free from homework but REALLY need to grade those essays I've had for like three weeks, and I need to do some special lesson plans for my class project. I love having friends and having plans. What really sucks is going a week or two doing absolutely nothing. Then having a week where I have been nonstop! haha. I'd like an even pace. Bedtime (4 hours ago. heh).

There are a number of things I tell myself I will or will never do as a parent someday... These are things I feel are most important, at this moment in time. We'll see how I feel when I'm actually in that stage of my life. I'm sure I'll just want to add. 1.    Have regular prayer and communication with my husband regarding all things important, namely children, finances, employment, mutual happiness and mutual improvement. 2.    Have family dinner at least five nights per week, whether it’s over Chinese takeout or chicken and dumplings, where all aspects of life will be discussed. 3.    Bear my testimony of Jesus Christ and his gospel to my family freely and frequently in several ways, namely through words, frequent prayer, utilizing the priesthood, attending church, and attending the temple. 4.    Show love to my husband and to my children every day, by word or deed. 5.    Teach my children right from wro...

I am the rock in His palm. I am held. Thrown in whichever direction He pleases. I am a rough object in His soft hand. Smoothing over time. I am sand Crumbling in the wind, rain, and storm. I am a rock Sand made shaped and solid in His palm.

I've NEVER wanted Christmas decorations up so early, or to start listening to Christmas music so soon. Not sure what to do about this. I love Christmas.

Who knows how long ago, a bird crashed into my balcony door. I noticed him laying on the threshold when I opened my door several nights ago. I've finally gotten around to moving its little corpse into a bag. Yeah... A bird carcass is sitting inside my trash can. Don't worry about it. (P.S. Really, don't worry about it. I'm taking the bag out tonight.)

OK... Too many annoying status trends on Facebook lately. For example: "If your Dad is your hero, your best friend, or just the best Dad ever. Whether you are blessed to have your Dad still with you, or if he is an angel in heaven. Copy & paste this into your status and let everyone know you are proud of your Dad & that you love him & he is always in your heart & on your mind." " 5 years old: my mom is the best! 7 years old: Mom I love you. 10 years old: mom whatever. 17 years old: OMG my mom is so annoying. 18 years old: I wanna leave this house. 25 years old: I wanna go back to my moms house. 50 years old: I don't wanna lose my mom. 70 years old: I would...give... up everything for my mom to be here...with me...post this on your wall if you appreciate your MOMMA!" "BROTHER WEEK. If you have a brother who has made you laugh, knocked you around,stuck up for you, drove you crazy, hugged you, watched you succeed, saw you fall (o...

So remember that time my car got broken into in Provo because I accidentally left my door unlocked? I forgot again. And got robbed again. Now, don't judge me, folks. I COMPULSIVELY lock my car when I leave it. Sometimes I even push the lock button twice. I push the lock button on my key chain twice to hear my car honk, as if to say, "I'm locked, I'm locked!" I lock, lock, lock my car! However, sometimes I go and check my mail then come back to my car to get all my stuff (especially if I have lots of groceries). Such was the case on Friday eve. I probably came back to get my stuff and forgot to lock my car. On Saturday I went to get into my car, and the same setup had happened. I guess they're all alike. My sunglasses were out on my seat, my oil change card and car registration out of my glove compartment, etc. This time, I had no cash available to the thief. I also remembered, as I always do, to bring my iPod in the house. In my center console I have...

My apartment is very cold. So is my fish's water. This morning, he was very lethargic and didn't even want to eat. When does a fish not want to eat? Come on. I don't want to put my heat on. I'm poor. And that's what blankets are for. Right?

The three best comments I've heard this week... One: Student: "Are you sick?" Me: "No." Student: "You look sick." Me: "Thanks." Two: Student: "You look like a real teacher today." Me: "What does that mean?" Student: "You normally dress like a school girl or like you're going to church." Three: Me: "You're already done?" Student: "Yeah! I'm a genius ." Me: "Oh, right. I should have known." 

I started off the day with Josh Radin’s new, amazing album. I was highly entertained (and frustrated, of course) by my 1 st period class. They were really funny today. Even though they’re ridiculous. I downed eight pieces of sushi for lunch. Awesome. It is sunny outside. I like the sun. Can life get better? Probably. But it’s good anyway!

I decided that I love when people tell me how much a movie sucks. This way, it's almost inevitable that I'll enjoy it! Like this one... I thought it was really fun! I called the ending pretty easily, but still! I was entertained. And I may or may not have drooled a little. How can you not, though? I mean, look... I kind of can't get over how much my attraction to this man increases every minute. He gets me all hot. Mmm... When people tell me how good a book or movie is, I'm usually disappointed. So tell me how terrible things are, please! Come one, come all! Give me your least recommended pieces of entertainment. Especially if it includes Jake Gyllenhaal. I'm going to go have awesome dreams now. *I'd also like to add that after looking up his IMDB profile, I have learned that he is six feet tall, and that his favorite book is To Kill a Mockingbird . These facts have increased his appeal, while simultaneously convincing me that we are, in fact, ...

I've got a lot going through my brain this morning. I'm not sure how to articulate any of it, except that my loneliness is getting to me. Most days I'm fine, and it takes something to set it off. Anyway... I've got some pictures. Rachel bought me a cute little pumpkin. And my grandma bought me tons of Halloween decorations. Like these stuffed pumpkins.  His name is Albi Mortimer.  Another deco from my grandma.  Rachel traversing the treacherous terrain to retrieve a pumpkin.  Top center. He was the goal.  He's like a basketball.  Rachel's a model.  This is my little punkin family. They are cute. I will carve one of them or all of them later.  I put some spider webs under my fishy.  Another item from grandma, with Albi.  It's almost fall break. I have to get an oil change in the next few days so I can head home on Wednesday night or Thursday morning. Maybe seeing my family will make me feel better. Oh and I had a d...

Best Friday in a long time? Yes. Dinner at Friday's Picking awesome pumpkins for $.19/lb at Smith's. I got three. Pics later. Cold Stone Good conversation Whip It All with Rachel. Love my liiiiife. I have to seriously clean my place tomorrow, and definitely do dishes. It's gettin' gross around here. Mighty gross, I reckon. Also get to do homework. :( And go on a date. :) I win.

Item #1 A simple one, really... Give them the freedom to choose a partner, and they will get the work done. It seems totally contradictory, but the level of effort I get from these kids when I put them in partners is not even close to when they choose their own. I wonder how this would work in research projects/groups. You always have those kids who don't want to join one. Hm. Item #2 On LDSSingles, a 49-year old divorced man with two children wanted to match our profiles. Um, seriously? That is wrong on so many levels. First of all, my DAD is 47. Secondly, his kids are probably all the same ages as me and my siblings. Thirdly, WTF could he even be thinking that would make him imagine that I would even be slightly interested? I might understand if he looked like Brad Pitt. But let's be honest, no normal 49-year olds look like Brad Pitt. Item #3 I am pretty sure a student called me a bitch the other day. I wasn't sure if I heard it or not, so I didn't add...

(emphasis added) To whom it may concern: I received a parking ticket in the Museum of Art Visitors’ lot at 4 PM on September 28, 2010. The comment on this ticket says, “lied to booth officer in order to park.” Under any circumstance, this comment is accusatory and inappropriate. However, in this case it is also completely false. I graduated from BYU in April 2010. I have since moved to Murray and do not take classes on campus. From August 2005 to April 2010, I have registered my car for parking in the Y-lots every fall and have never violated parking standards or received a citation; I am familiar with and have always respected the parking procedures. As a graduate visiting campus today, in Fall 2010, I had assumed that I was no longer registered to park in the Y lots. I pulled into the Museum of Art Visitors’ lot to make a brief visit to the records office to get a transcript. When the booth officer asked if my car was registered to park in the Y lots, I confidently and honestl...

I'm not sure where to start with this post. I guess I'll see how it turns out and fix it if I need to. If I haven't made it clear by now, I wouldn't be who I am without the gospel of Jesus Christ. I wouldn't know my purpose on earth. I wouldn't know my worth. I wouldn't understand my own personal suffering. And I wouldn't have anyone to endure it with me and for me the way I know Christ does. Every time we have to sing "Families Can Be Together Forever" at church, I can't do it. I can maybe get through 8 words before I start bawling my eyes out. If I haven't made it clear by now, my family is not perfect. It actually has some serious issues on an individual basis. And it needs serious mending as a whole. In spite of this, I want to be with my family forever. It breaks my heart when they are hurting and don't know where to turn. It hurts me to my very core to know the happiness they could have, if they'd open their hearts...

On my blog to the right, there's a still frame from Little Miss Sunshine with a quote underneath it: "Alright, everyone, just... pretend to be normal." This movie spoke to me four years ago when I watched it, and it continues to speak to me. Here's some of the wisdom I glean from this movie... Moms are emotional and crazy sometimes, but man, do they love their family! Parents can go about things entirely the wrong way, but they almost always have the best intentions. A family that can get through a hardship together and then laugh about it is a family that's got what it needs: a sense of humor. Adolescents can be inexplicably selfish and hurtful sometimes. They only mean half of what they say. Adolescents can hurt you the worst, love you the most, and protect you the best. Grandpas might seem obnoxious and crazy, but they have wisdom to share. It should be heard. Family members are sometimes uncomfortable expressing love and concern. When they try ...

This morning I started my new scripture study plan which is essentially nothing formal, but I am guiding scripture study along with Preach My Gospel. I read Lehi's dream in 1 Nephi 8. I really felt a connection with Lehi in wanting to share his joy (his fruit) with his family. And I understood his sadness and disappointment when his sons would not partake. Oh, how I would love if my loved ones would know and partake of the joy that I know... If everyone could understand how much their Savior loves them, and how he already suffered for them, and how it makes your burdens so much lighter to feel his support. If everyone could know that, everyone would be so much happier. So I thought I started my day off the right way. Then I got every red light on the way to school! It was bad. I tried to breathe off my frustration and make it a good day. And it was a good day. My kids were awesome. I also got free dinner before conferences--Joe Morley's BBQ. Pulled chicken sandwich, pork ...

So, I want a lot of feedback on this... Is it possible for only ONE person to feel a connection? For only ONE person to feel chemistry? I kind of figured connection and chemistry was a two-way street. But can someone be right for you, and you be wrong for them? A valid question, I think. (Rest assured, I'm referring to Chris Pine with this question. Not anyone who may or may not have been in a band or who may or may not have totally ignored me since two months ago or who may or may not be completely dominating my dreams lately. Not him.) NEXT!  I finished the Book of Mormon this morning. I started last August. Needless to say, it took me a long time, and I did a lot of slacking. But I think the last chapter is the best one, not because it's last. Because of its substance and how real Moroni's voice is in that chapter. ASK if this is true. Pray. He will answer. Simple as that. Easy as 1 2 3. NEXT! I have my A classes tomorrow... This means I have the stud...

Holy three days of blogs in a row, Batman! Today, as I was grabbing a small sacrament cup from the tray in Rachel's hand, I tried to readjust the cup and failed. The cup of precious sacrament water spilled all over me. I was momentarily embarrassed, letting out an "Oh my gosh," and an "awesome," at some point... I managed to get two or three drops from the cup and passed it on. The rest was on my turquoise dress. But really, I totally was upset at myself. I thought of the precious sacrament, and how I had let that blessed water go everywhere but where it was supposed to go. I was so happy to be taking the sacrament, and I spilled it everywhere! I was thinking of its symbolism, what that water represents--the blood of Christ, and how it absolves me and makes my sins of garnet white as snow. And about how grateful I am for that ordinance every week, and how much of a difference it made to me when my clumsy mistake prevented me from taking full advantage o...

Remember how yesterday I couldn't find my BYU Alumni shirt or my concealer that I had been looking for for several days? After getting a lot of rest last night, my mind was much clearer this morning. For some reason, my alumni shirt was in the drawer with my thermals and my exercise clothes. WTF? And I had a sudden epiphany that my concealer fell out of my lap in the car a week and a half ago, and I said, "Meh, I'll just get it later." Went to the car, and there it was in front of my seat. Rejoice.

It all started when my radio alarm clock went off at 6 AM (I have a radio alarm because that beeping sound makes my blood pressure double and causes anxiety attacks.). The wake-up song? Something by Nickelback. No joke, this immediately pissed me off. I quickly shut it off and got up, muttering at My 99.5 for waking me up with that horrifically iconic growling voice of adult alternative rock. After taking a long shower with my first time using John Frieda's Brilliant Brunette shampoo, I got out to finish getting ready. Today's Friday, so naturally I wanted to wear jeans and a shirt that'd make me stand out among junior high kids. What better shirt to wear in red U-territory than my BYU blue alumni shirt? I have this thing lately where I can't find anything. It's kind of weird because I usually remember where I put things and try to stay pretty organized, even if I get cluttery. I searched all of my drawers twice. I searched my t-shirt drawer four times, not jok...

First, one of the hazards of teaching... Wet-erase pens dying and bleeding gorily all over your hands like so. It even caused a blood clot on an overhead I was using. I couldn't even get it washed off completely. Maybe later. In addition to this hazard, there's always the hazard of failure, paper cuts, dry erase marker residue, and too many papers. Today I re-learned a great law of teaching. I should have remembered this from being a student. Since I was always the kid who got stuff done early--my thought process was like this, "The more I do today, the less I have to do tomorrow!" After a horrible failure in period 1A with group reading, I thought I might not try it again. My other A class is a beast. But I thought I'd offer them a chance, with a different approach. The Law of Motivation Part 1: Offer a choice. This way they can't complain, because they have opted and voted for what it is they're doing. For example: You can read the chapters...

I'm on a kick today: a The Used kick... I love them so much. Someone else I know really liked them too. Today, I particularly loved the lyrics, "I don't see anything now, so just say what you wanna say. It's kind of funny how I'm not listening anyway." Remember that time when no matter how many people reminded me how stupid I am, I wasn't listening anyway? All I've got is my heart instructing me otherwise. I can't see anything now. So just say what you wanna say. It's kind of funny how I'm not listening anyway. Sigh. Bedtime.

There are probably a thousand things I could talk about since it's been 20 days since my last post. I had a dream last night that I was at the beach on a date with this boy. He was like really small. I wanted a hot chocolate (I guess it was a cold day at the beach), and we held hands to walk over there. Who did we see other than my ex and his posse? Don't worry, I pretended that he wasn't there. Stirred up all sorts of madness around me. Let's also discuss how I just now received an IM from a 44-year old divorced father of four children who just had to tell me how gorgeous he thinks I am. I mean I know my dad recognizes a beautiful young woman when he sees her, and it's gross and all, but like... Can this just stop? I'm tired of old men. Really. I'm also tired of unattractive ones. I feel like I'm being super shallow and stuff, but I can usually tell if I'm going to find someone attractive or not. Little things bother me a LOT, even physically. L...

First day of school was long, long, long! My room was terribly stuffy and hot. It was only 77 degrees outside today. It was glorious when I came outside after being in my classroom! I should've opened my windows. It was bad. Anyway, three 83-minute long classes... One class, on the first day, is the devil. On the first day! That's a terrible sign. I need to figure out how to manage this situation. I kept them for a minute and a half after the bell rang. Yikes. We discussed a quote on the bulletin board that says, "How little do they see what really is, who frame their hasty judgment upon that which seems." - Daniel Webster. We broke it down, and I tried to help them understand it.  After three long classes, a crazy lunch duty, a hot classroom, and a devil class, it completely made my day when one of my students came back after school and knocked on my door. He came in and asked if he could please take a picture of the quote on my bulletin board. How freaking awe...

So for five or six months a little while I've had an addiction to the Tiger's Blood Italian Soda at the Cocoa Bean Cupcake Cafe. It's strawberry coconut, for those of you who don't know. It is delicious. I may or may not have earned a few free drinks on their drink cards. They use half and half, strawberry and coconut Torani syrups, and sparkling water... Plus a little whipped cream on top. It's glorious. One of the saddest things about my move away from Provo (one of the maybe 3 things...) is that I can't have these sodas when I feel like it. Not to mention the cupcakes. Some of you might remember my chocolate chip thing that I did when I had a Red Mango addiction. I am a bargain shopper and will do what I can to save a buck in a craving. So, naturally, what do I do when I don't have this soda available at my leisure? Price the Torani's of course. K-Mart had a deal of three 750 ml for $28 or so. I found a better deal on worldpantry.com where I go...

Just to start, does this scream irony at anyone besides me? OK. Now that we have that out of the way. This is my bedroom set. I only got the headboard, mirror, dresser, and night stand. But, it was a four piece set for $500. And mine is black, however brown this picture may look. In addition to the fact that it's totally gorgeous... I also figured out that it will all fit in my room easily! My table at I.M. Home didn't work out, and I'm SO glad because then I could get the one I really wanted. It was only $200 ($20 cheaper than the first table, and $20 cheaper than Big Logs had it for)! It looks beautiful and fits perfectly in my apartment. I went to Ikea to see my options for a coffee table. My mother thought that a black table would be too dark for my couch set ($600, RC Willey), which is this one: My cushions are reddish brown by the way.  The table I wanted at Ikea was only $100 and black, but they had no more. And thank heaven for that because... I ...